Text / Xiaoming's father
Edit / Little Whale
On December 20, 2022, it was the third time we took our child Xiaoming (pseudonym) to the Third Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University. For the first time, Xiaoming was diagnosed with mild autism; The second time, the doctor told us that Xiaoming's condition had worsened; For the third time, and this time, Professor Zou Xiaobing said, "The child has made great progress that we are all shocked by!" ”
From the 1st to the 3rd, the interval was 1 year and 15 days. Halfway through, we had "lying flat" and "rolling", and the final result was gratifying. I would love to tell you about our family's journey.
▲Xiaoming
Can memorize more than 100 ancient poems
Can understand 0 songs
Xiaoming was born in the winter of 2017 and is a brilliant child in our eyes. By the age of 3, he was able to memorize more than 100 ancient poems and know more than 100 Chinese characters – though he did not understand the meaning of ancient poems and characters.
In addition to Xiaoming's superior memory, we gradually discovered some problems: he does not look at people, should not be named, loves to run around, loves to shake his little hands, often says things that are not in the scene, and loves to ask and answer himself.
With faint worries, in December 2021, Xiaoming and we went to Zhongshan Third Hospital and got a diagnosis from Dr. Cen Chaoqun: mild autism.
However, due to our lack of knowledge of intervention, our family did not carry out systematic intervention on Xiaoming, but insisted on sending the child to kindergarten with a trace of "luck".
In kindergarten, Xiaoming made the teacher helpless. He has no sense of rules, runs around in class, talks at will, does not listen to the teacher's instructions, and does not play with children. Nap? He never sleeps, and he attacks whoever cares about him. I secretly went to the kindergarten to observe, and Xiaoming's performance made me want to find a seam to drill into.
This situation continued until May 2022. When we came to Dr. Shum's office again, her words were like a blow: "Some of the child's problems have worsened, and systematic intervention is necessary!" ”
This time we know that Xiaoming will not be "mild" and will not naturally improve because he is in a "children's group" such as a kindergarten. We have to make some changes.
Dropped? Resign?
I calculated a long-term account
Think first: Do I still want to go to this class?
Not on it!
Bringing a baby full-time is a bold decision for me and our family, but I personally think it is a relatively correct choice. My considerations are as follows.
(1) The child's situation
Xiaoming has fallen behind the normal child, and in the nearly half a year after the first consultation, we have not been able to effectively help him. Autistic kids progress relatively slowly, and I don't want to leave him behind again because of us. Professor Zou said that in the first two years of diagnosis of autistic children, it is recommended to intervene for at least 4 hours a day.
It is not enough to rely on our time before and after work. I want Xiaoming to grow, which means that I have to make sure I have enough time and energy to invest.
(2) I want to learn
Before, I didn't understand intervention, now I want to start systematic intervention, and in front of me is a lot of expertise waiting to be learned. I not only have to learn the theory, but also practice, summarize and improve repeatedly in practice.
If I juggle work, I think I'll go into a state of "overload," fearing that I'll be physically and mentally exhausted and will have to rush into the intervention.
(3) A more "cost-effective" option
I try to calculate the general ledger, the big account, the long-term account. If I quit, I can accompany Xiaoming for at least 12 hours a day, and I can accompany him 360 hours in one month. And if I just spend time with him after work, maybe only 3 hours a day, and to complete these 360 hours, I need 4 months! This stretched the front.
I think I can devote myself fully to family intervention, and when my child can successfully enter kindergarten or school, I will return to work.
So, after comprehensive consideration, our family decided that I would temporarily resign and take the baby full-time to give Xiaoming a stable companionship. At the same time, my lover will also make up the relevant knowledge, keep the "substitute" at any time, and also allow us to discuss the problem of intervention at the same cognitive level.
Think again: Do children still want to go to school?
Not on it either!
In general, Xiaoming did not look at the kindergarten and did not listen to instructions, had no ability to imitate, could not integrate into children, and seriously affected the classroom order. After the second consultation, I started studying at Star Watcher, and also joined the parent group, through communication with other parents and teachers, combined with our own considerations, we believed:
Xiaoming's ability is not up to the level of going to kindergarten and drops out.
So, the second visit was a key turning point for our family, and both our fathers and son's lives changed:
One resigned, one withdrew.
Team collaboration
"Combat effectiveness" is full
Although I was the one who quit my job, I didn't carry the burden of intervention alone.
I am the main person in charge of the baby, I will make an intervention plan and explain the key knowledge I have learned to my family; Xiaoming's mother goes to work in the morning and has half a day in the afternoon to participate in the intervention of children, and every week she exchanges learning experiences with me and comments on my practical practice; Xiaoming's grandmother and grandfather cooperate, taking the children to do housework, learning about nature, and taking care of the family's diet.
▲Structured arrangement in the home
There are two main ways we learn: video lessons to communicate with parents.
Every day, I spend at least 1 hour watching Star Watcher take the doctors' professional classes, and I have watched Professor Zou's courses more than 3 times. In addition, in the parent group, I inspire each other with other parents, and I also focus on the teacher's group lectures and answers to parents' questions, which can allow me to learn how to identify children's problems, avoid a lot of interference in children's pits, and eliminate the problems that children may face in the bud in time.
▲Notes, plans, posters, etc. posted at home
And just like that, step by step, our family intervention was on track. The intervention plan was initially completely carried out according to Zou Xiaobing's "Xiaoming's Day", and this curriculum lasted for 2 months, and then some desktop cognitive teaching classes, housework classes, outdoor labor classes, sensory integration classes, and so on were added.
▲ Xiaoming likes all kinds of "visual kei"
In the process of family intervention, I have also practiced some effective methods, and I will share them with you here.
(1) Model Law
The Model Law is one of the most effective and effective methods I use at home.
First of all, it is to demonstrate to the children, whether it is assembling and playing go-karts, playing balance bikes, or for behaviors in daily life, I personally demonstrate to the children and let the children learn. Because autistic children tend to be visually preferred, after the parents demonstrate in person, the child may learn a little better than he can figure it out on his own.
Secondly, it is to show the family. When I intervene with children, I usually let my grandmother and grandfather learn to observe on the side, demonstrate to them, and let them participate in interfering with children. When they learn, I let them take the children, and then I put forward my own opinions, such demonstrations are very effective, and the elderly progress is particularly fast.
(2) Take advantage of your child's interest in small animals
All children are interested in small animals, and children with autism are no exception.
To get Xiaoming's attention, I bought him goldfish, blackfish, bullfrogs, small sparrows, big beetles, rabbits and so on. Buying these things is mainly to enhance the child's five senses, increase the child's cognition, let him know these things, know how these things are called, what to eat, and where to live.
It is precisely because of these accumulations that children's cognition has improved by leaps and bounds.
▲ Xiaoming and various small animals at home
(3) Take advantage of your child's interest in cars
Because the neighbor's child has a go-kart, Xiaoming has always asked us to buy him one. I bought it for the child, and this also follows the initiative to satisfy the child and intervene centered on the child's interests.
After buying a go-kart, Xiaoming doesn't play it. He doesn't brake, doesn't reverse, and doesn't hit the steering wheel properly when cornering. I took him to an empty square, where there were no obstacles, increasing his success rate.
After he succeeded a few times, I gradually increased my understanding of left and right, playing the steering wheel, etc., and added instructions such as refueling the accelerator and pressing the brakes, which also satisfied the child's hobbies, and the child learned very quickly, and soon he would drive by himself.
(4) PPT diary
PPT diary, similar to reading picture books, is mainly used to teach Xiaoming daily cognition.
I will take photos to record Xiaoming's scenes of going out to play every day, eating food, etc., and then make it into a PPT, and then put the PPT on a U disk and play it through the TV screen.
▲PPT diary
Every time I played a scene, I would ask Xiaoming in response: What are you doing there? Who went with you? Where is what? Wait a minute. Let the child describe it. On the one hand, it improves his expression ability, on the other hand, it can also help him recall some beautiful scenes.
Through the PPT diary, it is completely possible to review every day and summarize every week, which is particularly helpful for cognition.
The family is a natural scene, centered on the child's interests, no happiness and no intervention, the effect is very significant!
▲The "orange" lift painted by Xiaoming
Grandma's housework lesson
Back garden with grandpa
Part of the reason why Xiaoming has improved so much is due to his grandmother and grandfather.
Grandpa is a junior high school teacher, and my grandmother is a kindergarten teacher. They were initially displeased with Xiaoming's intervention because they psychologically did not recognize him as autistic.
At this time, I did not argue, but just divided the labor between them. Grandma and grandpa's task is to cook, and they don't have to do the rest.
In fact, they are eager to play with their children and grow up, but they will not intervene, and sometimes they feel sad. So we can't isolate them, but "use" them.
I took the initiative to show them how to intervene with the children, let them observe from the sidelines, and slowly they accepted.
For example: when my grandmother was doing housework, I brought my children to join in, and the whole process was dominated by me, and I gave instructions to my children and grandmothers, so that my grandmother and children could do it together. In this process, grandma is more patient, when the child can't do it, I hint at what point grandma to assist, grandma does not do well, I will remind to improve.
Slowly, I included the work of doing housework into the daily task that children must do, and later became an intervention class for grandma and children, so that my grandmother perfectly took over the baton of intervention.
▲ Xiaoming does housework
After understanding some intervention knowledge, Grandpa directly planted more daily crops, flowers and plants in the yard, and also raised more poultry animals, which is convenient for children to expand their horizons, increase cognition, and also facilitate children to attract friends.
I think every parent must learn to let the elderly in the family act, demonstrate to the elderly, teach the elderly, and let the elderly also act. Don't let the elderly do too much, just a high-quality intervention class in the morning, which not only reduces their workload, but also allows the elderly to learn the skills and knowledge of intervening children, so that children progress faster.
▲ Xiaoming and grandma and grandpa
3. Enter the Zhongshan Third Courtyard
Professor Zou took the initiative to add me to WeChat and take a group photo
Working hard to study and practice, in addition to bringing growth to children, they also reaped "unexpected joy". Due to the good results in the monthly examination of Star Watcher, we were fortunate to have the opportunity to see Professor Zou Xiaobing - this was also our third trip to Zhongshan Three Hospitals.
After entering Professor Zou's consultation room, Xiaoming was a little nervous and covered his eyes with his small hand. Professor Zou instructed us to sit down separately with gestures, and the children were more cooperative in sitting on the designated chairs.
Professor Zou was very kind and called the child's name, and the child looked at him from between his fingers and slowly lowered his little hand. Next, Professor Zou asked Xiaoming some questions (such as how old he is, boy or girl, etc.), and gave some instructions, and Xiaoming completed it well. Professor Zou carefully introduced the situation of the previous children, let us summarize the progress of the children, and he commented while listening: understand the benefits and avoid the harms, the preliminary of the six levels of the social ladder!
Professor Zou said that the child had made progress that shocked the doctors and asked me how I did it. I'll talk briefly about our intervention (you can see today that this article is a super extended version). Professor Zou not only added my WeChat, but also said to the doctor next to him: "Such parents are very good, let's take a photo together!" ”
▲Professor Zou and our family of three
Receiving his praise, coupled with Xiaoming's progress being "stamped and certified", we are really happy and proud.
Xiaoming will go to kindergarten in the next year, taking advantage of the period of time before the year, we continue to adhere to the direction of home intervention, arrange structured courses to simulate the scene of kindergarten, and prepare children for kindergarten smoothly. At the same time, the child's ability to socialize at the fifth level is consolidated.
During this period, one of the most important tasks is to find a few suitable friends for children, so that children can learn to abide by the rules in the communication game with children, know how to resolve conflicts, etc., and enrich and improve some social elements that children do not have. At the same time, we should often take children to some science and technology museums, museums and other places to expand children's horizons, so that children's experience and experience become more extensive, and provide some scene accumulation for children's future development.