American writer David Myers wrote in his book:
Man is a social animal by nature, and his thoughts and actions will be more or less influenced by others or society.
As the saying goes, near Zhu is red, near ink is black.
It really matters who people live and are with.
Fly with the phoenix, and it will be a handsome bird; Walking with tigers and wolves will be beasts of prey.
What kind of people we associate with and who we choose to walk with will invisibly affect and even change our lives.
Who we partner with on the road to the future is also an active selection process.
The rest of your life is long, don't get too close to people with poor hearts.
Source: Panorama Vision
People with poor hearts do not want to make progress
I saw a netizen's help post on Zhihu:
What do you do when you are surrounded by a group of unmotivated people, and you are a person with ideals and goals?
Living in such a big dye vat, although you have your own pursuits, it is inevitable that you will be affected by something.
If I want to assert myself, do I stick to myself as I am, or do I be myself while integrating into the collective?
Image source: Zhihu
One of the users, @imagined, shared his story:
He also lives in such a tank, he said.
I used to think that I had to work hard, become excellent, learn all kinds of things, and disdain to be with them.
But reality made him slowly assimilated, became decadent, lazy, and lived an unenterprising life day after day.
The most terrible effect of the environment is that you want to try to change yourself, but the people around you pull you to play games and cards, are you trembling again and again to refuse the temptation? Or tell yourself to talk about it tomorrow?
He tried to leave, but what he got was emptiness and loneliness, and he became an alien in the eyes of others.
In the end, he still compromised and became the same as the people around him, the same unenterprising, decadent and lazy.
Image source: Zhihu @ Imagine
People with poor hearts have a typical characteristic, that is, they do not want to make progress.
They have no fighting spirit in life, let alone pursuit, and they just have to get by and spend their time every day.
Being with such a person will only dampen your enthusiasm, wear out your love and expectation of life, and make you lazy and degenerate, no longer have dreams and hope for the future.
The ancients said:
dwelling with good people, like entering the room of Zhilan, and not smelling its fragrance for a long time, that is, dissolving with it;
With bad habitation, such as entering the abalone, and not smelling its smell for a long time, it also dissolves with it.
To explain it in layman's terms:
Whether it is a good environment or a bad environment, after staying in the same environment for a long time, we can easily be assimilated and become a member of the environment.
In real life, we will more or less encounter some bad environments:
It may be classmates who don't study around, or colleagues who have nothing to do, or friends who drink and play cards all day ...
And what we have to do is to try to jump out of such an environment and stay away from people who are not enterprising, have no fighting spirit, and are muddy.
Instead of being assimilated by the environment and ending up being someone you hate.
Source: Panorama Vision
People with poor hearts do not know how to be grateful
Saw a short story:
Every day on the way to work, the young lad passes by a beggar.
Look at him pitiful, the young man will give him 10 yuan every time.
At first, the beggar was quite grateful, but then slowly got used to it.
And so it went on for several years, until one day, when the young man passed by him, he did not give money.
The beggar got angry and questioned the young man why.
The young man said, I used to be alone, so I gave you 10 yuan, and now I am married and have children, and I am ready to save money to support my family.
When the beggar heard this, he was furious: "How can you use my money to support your family?" ”
There is a concept in economics called the "marginal effect of gratitude".
The gratitude of those who receive help decreases as the number of times they help.
After a certain degree, the person receiving help will take the help of others for granted.
Even after stopping helping, there is a grudge towards the person who helped.
Poor hearts are like this:
They take the good of others for granted, only know how to take, but do not know how to give and appreciate
With such people, our goodness will be disappointed and our sincerity will be consumed.
In this world, there is no such thing as a matter of course.
Others help you with love, not help is the duty, don't treat other people's love, as a cost.
The human heart is all mutual.
Our hearts are expensive and are to be left to those who deserve it.
There are many people in this world, and not all of them are worthy of our efforts and kindness
Some people will only ask for you, but never know how to give back, the better you treat him, the more he takes it for granted.
Time knows people's hearts, and after understanding a person's true character, what we have to do is stop the loss in time.
Reject him, stay away from him, ignore him.
Source: Panorama Vision
People who are poor in heart cannot see others well
There is a word called the crab effect:
When there is a crab in the basket, it must be covered, otherwise it will crawl out.
And when there are two or more crabs in the basket, there is no need to put the lid on.
Because, whenever one crab climbs up, the other will pull it down and step on it to climb up.
The end result is that not a single crab can climb out.
This reminds me of He Shihao, a young man from Shandong who caused heated discussions on the Internet some time ago.
27-year-old He Shihao entered Stanford from a medical college and aspired to become a top neurosurgical expert.
Image source: Weibo @Toutiao
Looking back on his counterattack road, he mentioned a story in his sharing:
When he was studying at a junior college, because he had to prepare for the fourth and sixth grade exams, he studied with a lamp on his desk in the dormitory.
At the time, several of his roommates were watching horror movies and felt that his turning on the lamp affected the atmosphere of their movie, so he asked him to turn it off.
When the exam was about to be taken, he didn't agree, and as a result, his roommate directly smashed his desk lamp.
At the bottom of the video, some netizens commented:
It's not that you turn on the lamp to affect them from watching horror movies, it's the light emitted by your hard work that stung their decadent and degenerate hearts.
So smash your lamp and hope you're with them.
Image source: Douyin @Red Star News
In the TV series "You from the Star", there is a line:
Human nature is like that, seeing others climb higher than you doesn't mean I'm going there too.
Instead, say to others, come down, come down, come to this quagmire.
One of the weaknesses of human nature is not being able to see others well.
What you don't have, you don't allow others to have
Once others want to try to change, his first thought is not to be with others, but to pull others down.
You will find that the poorer the heart, the more they like to step on each other.
They themselves are not doing well, and they don't want you to have a good life;
They themselves do not shine and still think about blowing out your lamp.
Getting too close to such a person will only make our lives bleak and inactive.
Source: Panorama Vision
Some people say that what is more terrible than poverty is poverty of heart.
Poverty will suffer at most for a while, while poverty may suffer for a lifetime.
Life is expensive, we must try to stay away from people with poor hearts, and avoid becoming poor people.
Here are 3 suggestions that we hope will inspire you:
1. Read or think
In this life, man must see all living beings, heaven and earth, and himself.
And reading is the best way to increase knowledge.
I see more, broaden my horizons, and my heart becomes rich and clear.
Regarding thinking, what I want to say is that we should not be followers of people and clouds, but have our own blueprints and plans.
Have a clear understanding of the future, have a clear plan for life, and be a firm person who is not influenced by others.
2. Instead of assimilating, it is better to fight
It is undeniable that the environment has a great impact on a person.
But just like that Shandong guy He Shihao, he was not assimilated by the environment, but secretly made up his mind, angry and strong, and achieved a counterattack in life.
If you are unfortunate enough to be in a bad environment, try to make yourself competitive and jump out of the original circle.
The kind of people around you is, to a large extent, determined by yourself
3. If you bloom, the breeze will come
Don't chase a horse, use the time to chase the horse to plant grass, and when the spring blossoms, there will be a batch of horses for you to choose;
Don't deliberately befriend a person, use the time when you don't have friends for the time to improve your abilities, and when the time is ripe, there will be a group of friends walking with you.
Excellent friends are not made, but attracted.
When you keep moving forward, when you become excellent, I believe that there will be more and more like-minded people gathered around you.
So, try to dig deeper.
Let the heart become full, let the spirit become rich, and make life interesting.
May we all choose to be good and stay away from those who are poor.
You can also constantly improve yourself and become a person with light in your eyes, dreams in your heart, and a road under your feet.
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Author: Carrie's sister, who has not given up love and freedom all her life.