Many boys may not understand that the various harassment that girls face in life is not just blatant salty pig hands and sexual harassment.
There are also some more indescribable, subtle nausea, some "pimples" -
I was on the subway that day, and the moment I opened the door, the middle-aged man next to me grabbed the two seats at a completely unnecessary speed of 100 meters.
And with his legs forty-five degrees apart, his head and arms were not on the side of someone he knew, but on my side like a slug.
Usually like this, I would Erlang's legs and make a little space to avoid sticking to the legs of the man next to me.
Then I put my backpack between the two of them to silently "remind" each other that you violated my space and disturbed me so much that I was uncomfortable.
But this time it still didn't work, and the other party slowly changed from forty-five degrees to sixty degrees.
So I stood up straight away, which was worse than standing.
After a stop, an aunt pulled the corner of my coat and motioned for me to sit down.
As soon as I saw that the guy next to me was gone, I sat down.
The aunt continued the conversation with me: the man was so annoying, I just said him, the little girl was not willing to sit and stand up.
Of course, I didn't hear all this when I brought noise-canceling headphones, it was my aunt who told me later, and she also said: "I understand you, I ride in the car like this, pimples." ”
I don't know where the dialect of "pimples" is, but I understand in seconds, it is a kind of pimple in the heart, it is difficult to be spoken, but it is a very uncomfortable feeling.
In fact, many times, girls have long been accustomed to this kind of "knot" of the leg that exceeds forty-five degrees, but at that moment, the small knot in their hearts seems to loosen a little.
I feel inexplicably that this world is still quite cute. There can be such delicate fluctuations between people.
A "I understand you", these delicate and subtle fears, discomfort, were taken over by another completely strange woman, two people who did not intersect, shared a knot at that moment.
Some girls are accustomed to the "knots",
It's not a big deal, but there are words of suffering:
@1906
Go to the convenience store to buy a small package of sanitary napkins, the brother is a little embarrassed, cryptic expression: you can go to the self-help to buy it ~
Then continue to calmly pay the people behind you.
@cowboy B
Girls go to the equipment area for fitness, there will always be boys to talk to, it doesn't matter, I was also praised by the cleaning aunt of the gym for being in good shape! However, the aunt of the family continued to work after talking to me, what to do.
But the male hook-up is not so simple, they either dare not talk, with eyes behind their backs, or like a ghost like a ghost, you practice what he is next to you humming and practicing, crazy performance school;
Either it is directly up to you WeChat, which is quite normal, that is, if I do not add, it is also very embarrassing to look up and look down to see the other party, so at most it belongs to low emotional intelligence and self-inflicted pain;
The most uncomfortable thing is that those who want to teach you directly - "Hey, I see that your action is not standard, it should be like this" and then involuntarily started to show you a demonstration.
At first, I felt that the other party put up with it out of good intentions, but it was really embarrassing and uncomfortable;
Later I met more, I now fitness encounter this, I will directly interrupt him: no, I have a coach to learn, thank you.
A male colleague, see I used a Liu Yuling "oh youth!" The phone case, laughing playfully at me, yin and yang weirdly saying things like "I understand" or something.
You know a fart.
There are also some exaggerations that don't sound like some smart people say it—
"You have a good temper and a good wife and mother, and you are blessed to marry you."
"What kind of vaccine, I have you to protect you."
......
@Dance
"I carried a round when my teammates came to add me: Wow, it's actually a girl who plays wild so strong."
Really a blank eye rolled over.
Just play a game, as for.
Some time ago I watched the domestic drama "You Are My Glory" twice, because my friend recommended that it was very sweet, but I saw the beginning here and did not watch it again.....
When Di Lieba was playing a game with his first love as a student, the first love boy and a group of brothers and teammates initially said that they didn't know anyone.
Then as soon as he heard that a girl Kaimai came in, he changed his attitude, and he was particularly excited, and he also punched his swollen face and filled the fat man himself to choose the C position to fly.
It just so happens that I also saw a post on Weibo, which really proves that many girls feel a lot of strange "care" when they are playing games.
"When playing games, knowing that you are a girl, you have to take you flying", these small bumps, which really make people experience very bad.
As a result, many times, women are forced to acquire a lot of defensive skills.
As girls, we received an extra education from an early age.
The most heard is - "Girls must learn to protect themselves."
Until now, my mother still often forwards some vicious social news to me, and my father's reaction is to blame my mother on the one hand, sometimes always thinking about things in the dark, and at the same time solemnly educating me not to go to the liquor bureau and not to do this or that.
It seems that as the parent of a girl, this is a necessary education, otherwise it will "suffer losses" and may be given to life.
"Thirty thousand shared housing with a monthly salary,
It's not that I can't afford it, it's that I don't dare to live alone. ”
-When sharing a room, a few pairs of men's shoes and slippers will be placed at the door.
-" Seeing the news that girls opened their doors and were cut throats frightened me during that time, every time there was a courier takeaway or something knocking on the door, I was possessed by the drama, no matter whether there was anyone in the family or not, I had to shout every time I opened the door, Dad, open the door, and then look carefully at the cat's eye or something." ”
-It is not possible to carry headphones when walking at night.
-Moving and taking a taxi at night, sharing locations throughout the drive.
- One-stop hotel stay: security lock, top door, double-sided mirror inspection, pinhole camera inspection of the whole room.
-Wear skirts to prevent sneak peeks, buy special safety pants, which are printed with various national curses. It doesn't look rude to wear it inside, because only unqualified, candid people can see it.
However, it is useless to keep guarding like this, and it is impossible to prevent it.
If all women's thinking is to take hangers to protect themselves, they will not break into the door when staying in the hotel. That is always unstoppable, and at the extreme, the status quo is that walking on the street can be dragged away at any time.
But the status quo can be changed little by little. Just like a few words from the aunt on the subway, opening up a little civilization distance, it is to make the status quo a little better, which is particularly precious and lovely at the moment.
Because when the mainstream preaches and emphasizes a kind of "girls are afraid of things, hiding, women are delicate and will not resist", the less people will come out to resist, and even for many rapists and murderers, it is "specially picked soft persimmon pinch".
Women's gentleness and compassion are also a kind of tenacity, but also a kind of strength.
Fortunately, we can now see more and more girls helping girls, and we want to infiltrate these powerful momentum into every detail of life. To praise and pass on them —
"Women helping each other is actually helping themselves"
-Every year someone would persuade me to drink, and she stood in front of me
Because I'm in a traditional industry, I've always been thankful that my leader is a woman.
At that time, not long after I graduated, I met the annual meeting, asking each group to come up with a program, and a man in our group waved a big hand and said to me and another girl, "This year's annual meeting, our group will rely on you two, we will not sing and dance, leave it to you." ”
A few others also coaxed alongside, saying that the performance program had to depend on the women or something.
Just at this time, the leader passed by, and when he heard it, he said, "What's the matter?" Bullying a new little girl. I'm going to get out of you guys." Although with a bit of a joking tone, but still successfully shocked a few men, a few men quickly "no no, we joked about it", and later did not mean to really let me and the girl out of the show.
It was a very small thing, but I always remembered it.
Later, I also went to the supervisor post, a few days ago was also a dinner, a colleague had to let the little girl who just came in to drink, the little girl refused several times to say "will not drink" and was still persuading the wine, I could not help but stand up and say "people do not drink, even if people do not drink, persuasion is not interesting", the colleague gave up.
Later, the girl came to me and said that she was very grateful to me for "saving the scene" at that time, and I suddenly thought of myself at that time.
Although the female leader has left, I still remember her and want to say thank you to her again.
Women are helping each other, in fact, helping themselves. Whether in the workplace or in society, the general environment is like this, and it should be better united.
I used to think that being in this male-dominated industry was quite bitter, but now I have a sense of alliance of "female gangs", brought up by female masters, and then passed on this kind of female chivalry and the fraternal spirit of "protecting calves".
Cover / Million Dollar and the Bitter Worm Woman
Illustration / Million Dollar and the Bitter Worm Woman
Text / Laura