#头条创作挑战赛 #
Author: Hong Yi (Fushu columnist)
In 2018, a book called "Educated" was released in the United States, and it was on the New York Times bestseller list in its first week of release, selling more than one million copies in the United States.
In 2019, domestic book editors tried to introduce the book, but never found a suitable Chinese translation, until the editors saw a tweet:
The New York Times Book Review is open to writers: If you included a book in your high school curriculum, which book would you recommend?
Tara replied, "The Bible has all that literature has. ”
So the editors decided to adopt a line from the Bible Psalm as their Chinese translation: Flee as a bird to your mountain.
The phrase itself contains a double interpretation, one is "escape" and the other is "find new faith", and it fits perfectly with the content of the book.
This book was later known as "When You Fly Like a Bird to Your Mountain".
"When You Fly Like a Bird to Your Mountain" is an autobiographical novel written by American writer Tara Westfer, detailing her entire growth and transformation.
Tara, a girl born in the mountains of Idaho, USA, successfully walked out of the mountains through her studies, and finally entered Harvard University with excellent grades and rewrote her life.
It turns out that a person who wants to get rid of his native family needs to go through 3 escapes.
Escape the enclosed environment and touch the outside world
Tara was born at the foot of Mount Buck Peak.
Isolated from the world, the locals are ignorant and ignorant, believing that by forming a human chain, they can get energy from others to heal themselves.
Tara, who grew up in this environment, did not receive a good education and did not think about leaving Buck Peak.
Until his brother Taylor, who returned from school, told Tara: If you leave Buck Peak, you can see a different world.
So Tara began to teach herself, buying books and practicing math whenever she could, poring over the notes Taylor had left behind.
After unremitting efforts, Tara passed the exam and obtained the admission qualification to Brigham Young University.
For the first time, Tara stepped out of the mountains and onto the college campus. There, she saw a different way of life:
Roommates would wear suspenders and show their bare shoulders, and would go shopping and watch movies on the Sabbath.
Students understand all kinds of geographical knowledge, and can also accept the influence of painting, literature and other arts.
The huge difference made Tara's three views impacted: it turns out that people can still live like this!
However, after the first semester, when she returned to Buck Peak with a change, her father thought she was out of his control and forced her to work in the scrapyard, hoping to get her back to her original life track.
Because in her father's opinion, Tara should stay on Buck Peak and stay in the kitchen, which is the right destination for a woman.
Her father's tyranny made Tara determined that even if she worked outside to earn money to support herself, she would not return to live the rest of her life without hope.
In fact, before receiving her brother's encouragement, Tara felt that the outside world had nothing to do with her, because her life had already been planned:
Married and had children at the age of eighteen or nineteen, lived on the farm assigned to her by her father, and would succeed her mother as a midwife, continuing her parents' lives for generations.
But from Bako to Brigham Young University, Tara saw a completely different world.
When a person has seen beauty, he knows ugliness;
If you have seen the vastness of the sea, you know the narrowness of the lake.
Having seen the openness and fun of the outside world, it became reasonable for Tara to escape the closed, backward Buck Peak.
Tara once said, "We grew up in our families, we were molded into what we were, and we always thought we could break free and reinvent ourselves." But once we go back to the old environment, we go back to the endless cycle. ”
The way out of the loop is to get out of the wrong environment early.
Escape from old ideas and achieve self-liberation
Although Tara left the wrong environment, she did not escape the control of her father's old thoughts.
At Brigham Young University, she still adhered to every truth and doctrine that her father taught her:
Reluctant to throw away rotten peaches and put them in the refrigerator;
Bathe only once or twice a week, never using soap;
Do not wash your hands, flush water, or throw away garbage after going to the toilet;
Even though she was so poor that she couldn't pay her rent, had a toothache and couldn't pay for her medicine, she refused to apply for a bursary because her father had said it was a government conspiracy.
She didn't feel that there was anything wrong with her behavior, or even that it should be.
After arriving at Cambridge, she was still out of place there, and instead of trying to change all this positively, she passively chose to escape.
Until one day, his friend Drew sent Tara a song with the lyrics that read:
Liberating ourselves from spiritual slavery, only we ourselves can liberate our minds.
At this moment, Tara had an epiphany: although her body had left her father's control, her mind was still under his control.
Finally, she decided to liberate herself and be a person with positive freedom:
Throw away turtlenecks and try less disciplined ones;
Proactively call a nurse and ask for a vaccination;
Try to socialize with your classmates so that more people can understand yourself;
No longer shy away from talking about hometown and telling them anecdotes about Buck Peak;
Little by little, she broke herself and slowly got out of her father's "dogma" and began to truly integrate into Cambridge.
Many people, to a greater or lesser extent, have been controlled by their parents' thoughts, and they may not be aware of it, but they really exist.
Some people are taught that divorce is dishonorable since childhood, so even if they have been wronged in marriage, they must still maintain it;
Some people are forced to receive a percussive education from an early age, so, when they grow up, they will habitually deny themselves in many things.
There is a term in psychology called "theory-induced blind spot", that is, once a person accepts a theory and uses it as a thinking tool, it is difficult to notice its error.
Just because a person is exposed to certain ideas from an early age does not mean that those are necessarily correct. People will always grow, and when one day they find that their thoughts are still bound by their original family, they begin to awaken and flee.
Without ideological escape, no matter how far you go, you will still live under the control of your original family and will not be able to break free for a lifetime.
Escape from deteriorated family affection and complete life's redemption
Tara has also struggled with her pursuit of her life, happy that she has found a sense of belonging in college, and guilty because she feels that she "betrayed" her family.
So when her parents crossed the ocean to find her and offered to forgive her as soon as she returned to Buck Peak, Tara was moved.
Although reason told her that she should not go back, emotionally, she could not give up her love for her family and felt that it was worth going back.
In the end, despite her boyfriend's dissuasion, she got on a plane and returned to her parents.
Her father asked Tara to choose forgiveness no matter how much Sean had hurt her in the past, even threatening her with a knife.
The mother tells every relative in the valley that Tara has a false perception, that she is controlled by the devil, that she is a dangerous person, and that there is a high probability that she will pose a threat to her family...
The parents' approach made Tara completely dead.
She thought that as long as she returned to this home, she could save everything, but in fact, this family was not worth nostalgic for.
At that moment, Tara realized that in order to truly live the life she wanted, she needed an escape, an emotional separation from her family.
She took the diary she had left at home, cleaned up the last traces of her home, and completely remembered Buck's life, and since then, she has never returned home or seen her parents.
Some people may say that Tara is desperate and indifferent, but those family affections that lack understanding, tolerance and love may not be family affection for a long time, but just a variety of kidnappings bred by degenerated family affection.
Tara is brave and lucky, but in reality, I don't know how many people are still living in the kidnapping of family affection: knowing that they need to make a cut, but they always let feelings prevail over reason, and repeatedly choose to endure and forgive the authoritarian, repressed, and unbearable family affection.
You have to remember: not all family affection needs to be maintained, not all relatives have the need to communicate, and you must have the courage to make a decision.
The sooner a person escapes from deteriorating family affection, the sooner he can complete redemption and rush to the life he wants.
Tara writes in her book:
As a child, I waited for my mind to mature, for experience to accumulate, for my choices to be firm, and for I to become an adult.
It's just that as I get older, I start to wonder if my starting point is my end—whether a person's initial form is his only true appearance.
Everyone cannot decide their own birth, they cannot choose their own family, but they can choose what kind of future they have and what kind of person they want to become.
It is indeed difficult to get rid of the family of origin, because it means that you need to distance yourself from them and become the "betrayer" of the family.
However, before loving your family, learn to love yourself.
If your original family has brought you harm and bondage, please show your perseverance and bravely choose to escape.
May everyone get rid of their original family and live their own wonderful life.
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