When Yu Dafu was studying in Japan, there were many young children around him, some of whom were completely disappointed in society and indulged themselves; Some of them themselves are flesh and blood, enjoying themselves all day, without any sense of responsibility...
Qinglou has become a place where these people often go.
Yu Dafu also followed them to look for flowers and ask Willow, which was very addictive.
Yu Dafu is not ashamed of his behavior, nor does he want to hide it, he will also tell his friends about his reasons:
I am a national preservationist on gender issues, and I can't bear to see the delicate female compatriots on the mainland being trampled by those foreign hooligans. My wandering in the era of studying abroad was also a kind of revenge based on this doctrine.
Yu Tatsufu studying in Japan
Later, Yu Dafu returned to China and still visited Qinglou with friends every day, but his mentality was completely different from when he was in Japan.
It's not so much about having fun, it's about trying to numb yourself.
He would rather gamble money in the Qinglou than ask for a girl to accompany him.
Of course, the old bustard will not miss this distinguished guest, so he has always recommended a girl named "Ruyi" to Yu Dafu. Yu Dafu had no interest in the girl, but the old bustard repeatedly recommended it, he couldn't help it, and said directly: "Do you have any older, ugly-looking, and unloved girls here, you might as well call out and take a look." ”
Yu Dafu's words obviously wanted to prevaricate the old bustard, but the old bustard really found such a girl for Yu Dafu, and this face really couldn't find a second one in the green building.
The girl's name was Begonia, her forehead was broad, her hair was thinning, the corners of her eyes were drooping, and her chin was pointed and long, and Yu Dafu himself said that this girl resembled "primitive monkeys in zoology".
Begonia flowers are beautiful, but this girl is standing in front of her, and it really does not fit the name.
Not to mention that the talent is maverick, Yu Dafu did not dislike the begonia, but had a good impression of this girl at a glance, and slept with the begonia that night.
In that era, nine out of ten of the girls who laughed at Qinglou were sold by their loved ones, and everyone could tell a sad past.
Haitang was very honest with Yu Dafu, she said that she was 28 years old this year, and Qinglou lied about her age in order to let her pick up customers, saying that she was 23 years old.
She also gave birth to a child, when she was still young, and believed that someone who really loved her could redeem her from the Qinglou.
She fell in love with an alternate petty official, and after giving birth to a child, the petty official went to take up his post in the field.
Begonia spent several years of her youth for this man, and in the end she got nothing, because she was old and weak, and no guests could look at her.
Before Yu Dafu, Haitang had not received "business" for several months, and she could no longer afford to buy a new dress.
Although Yu Dafu lingered in the Qinglou all day, it was only an emotional vent, and he and the girls were dewy marriages, and he did not plan to really move his feelings.
But after listening to the story of Begonia, his sympathy overflowed, but Yu Dafu would not redeem himself for her to give her a stable second half of his life, his sense of responsibility to women was limited, and within the scope of his ability and energy, he promised Begonia: Tomorrow I will post advertisements for you and recruit some rich lords to take care of your business.
Haitang smiled and nodded, she has been in Qinglou for a long time, she has listened to this kind of obedience too much, and she used to be stupid to believe it, but now it is Yu Dafu who told a joke, and she also took care to thank Yu Dafu.
She also did not expect that Yu Dafu really did this.
As long as Yu Dafu has nothing to do on weekends, he will invite his friends to play cards here in Haitang.
These friends of Yu Dafu have naturally seen what Begonia looks like, and they will joke about Begonia's appearance.
Yu Dafu's friend Yi Zuojun mentioned in "Me and Yu Dafu" that he often played cards with Yu Dafu, describing Haitang as "born with the alien appearance of Zhu Hongwu, with a mouth that can accommodate fists, a long chin, and no three fingers on the upper forehead." ”
Zhu Yuanzhang's appearance is notoriously ugly in folklore, a woman looks like this, Yi Zuojun jokes that "no man dares to understand."
Begonia is ugly, poor and inferior, but it may be this humble and cautious appearance that makes Yu Dafu particularly pity.
Once, a fire broke out in Qinglou, and all of Haitang's clothes and jewelry were burned, and Yu Dafu, who was living outside the city, hurried to see Haitang, gave her comfort, and donated a lot of money to her.
Yu Dafu has had romances with many women in his life, and each is more beautiful than the other, but why do you like such an ugly girl?
This still has to start with the formation of Yu Dafu's concept of marriage and love.
Yu Dafu's famous novel collection "Sinking" was once popular, and he wrote boldly, and the text of the young man suffering from sexual repression was based on Yu Dafu himself.
Yu Dafu lost his father at the age of four, and his two older brothers left home early to look for work, and the family interacted with him every day with his grandmother, mother and maid.
Yu Dafu was the only male in the family, which had a great influence on his childhood, and his grandmother and mother ate and prayed Buddha every day, or they were running the housework, and rarely found time to talk to him and give him family love.
In fact, the most attention Yu Dafu received in childhood came from the maid Cuihua, who was a teenager older and could not replace the role of mother, and he grew up in this indulgent environment with a proud heart.
According to the description in his article, when he was still studying in Fuyang Higher Primary School at the age of 13, his sexual consciousness had begun to germinate, and he had a first love with the girl next door, "Zhao Family Girl", "like spring sorrow like water". Later, the girl of the Zhao family got engaged, and Yu Dafu was still deeply regretting that he had missed the opportunity.
In fact, Yu Dafu was not only in love with the Zhao family girl at that time, he also had a similar relationship with two other girls.
These girls have several similar characteristics, and it can be seen that the woman Yu Dafu liked at that time was a bit of a new school and a good-looking woman, which later became an important criterion for Yu Dafu to choose a mate.
At this time, Yu Dafu is quite a bit narcissistic, the woman of the Zhao family is obviously married, and Yu Dafu is still telling his pain of lovesickness, lamenting and melancholy.
After 25 years, Yu Dafu has experienced two marriages and several children, and he still can't forget the girl of the Zhao family when he reaches middle age.
This narcissistic complex is destined to make his future marriage full of tragedy.
He can find the satisfaction of desire in these women, and he can quickly discard them to replace themselves, and it is precisely because of this narcissistic complex that he has a melancholy poetic temperament.
During Yu Dafu's study in Japan, he also had romances with several beautiful women.
At that time, Japanese folk customs were deeply influenced by the West, the concept of gender was very open, and photos of Japanese women half-naked could be seen everywhere on the streets, which was very exciting for young students born in traditional and conservative families.
At that time, young Chinese students did not hesitate to accept this open-mindedness and habit, and at that time, the families that provided accommodation for Chinese students were often run by poor Japanese families, and the family did not mind messing with international students if they had a daughter.
The Japanese women aroused Yu Dafu's blind thoughts and plunged him into extraordinary chaos.
Takako Fuji is affectionately called "Long'er" by Yu Tatsuo, because Yu Tatsuo has to pass in front of her house every day to go to school, so he has a different affection for her, and once wrote 4 poems for Fuji Takako.
Another Tameino, a waitress at a Nagoya hotel, is such a low-status, ordinary woman all her life, because Yu Dafu's poem "Yu'er sees a doctor rouge lightly, thin and thin East wind overnight flowers, Zhong Dingyue is silent, two lines of clear tears fall pipa" was remembered.
But no matter which Japanese woman you fall in love with, it ends in failure. At that time, the Japanese simply looked down on Chinese, although these women were amorous, but it was absolutely impossible to entrust the second half of their lives to a Chinese man, or even to be long-term lovers.
At that time, Yu Dafu was less than 20 years old, and spent a particularly important stage in his life here, completed his coming-of-age ceremony, and formed a different outlook on life and marriage from others.
Yu Dafu constantly pursued, but also suffered successive failures, he was originally sentimental, easy to be depressed, constantly frustrated emotionally, and often drunk for this, really couldn't control himself simply ran to Qinglou to find fun and excitement.
He said of himself: "Just sink to the end! If you don't go to hell, where you see Buddha nature, life is a complicated labyrinth. ”
Yu Dafu and these young students did not come to this land just to "gild", they were with a sense of family and country mission, for the family, they wanted to bring back honor and wealth, for the country, they wanted to find a way to prosperity and strength.
With such lofty aspirations, they are discriminated against here.
Yu Dafu is not a person with low self-esteem, when he first arrived in Japan, his life was very regular, and he was full of confidence in his future.
But contact with Japanese women made his mentality out of balance, and even lost the confidence and self-esteem of men.
This is a country where men are extremely inferior to women, and these Japanese women under the social status will show a discriminatory attitude towards Yu Dafu because of their racial advantages, making Yu Dafu feel humiliated and inferior.
It was when Yu Dafu was most depressed that his family asked him to come back and get married.
Like many young literati at the time, their first marriage came from their parents' orders.
In 1917, under the arrangement of his parents, Yu Dafu returned to China and became engaged to Sun Quan.
Sun Quan is very beautiful, born in a scholarly family, standing in a pavilion, can write good articles, and his mother's family is also a famous family in Fuyang, Zhejiang.
Yu Dafu was lucky that his parents at least didn't find him a traditional small-footed woman who couldn't read a word. But when it comes to arranged marriage, Yu Dafu is still very resistant, and he didn't have much expectations for Sun Quan, but he didn't expect to be very stunning when he saw Sun Quan for the first time, not only because of her beauty, but also because of her extraordinary conversation and style.
He wrote in his diary that day: Sun's handwriting is also leisurely, and it is known to overwhelm the former Qing Lao Xiu.
The amorous Yu Dafu immediately fell in love, and before going to Japan, he gave Sun Quan 5 small poems, every word is love.
Yu Dafu treats women like drinking, easy to get up.
In his youth, Yu Dafu took a group photo with Guo Moruo and other friends
In 1920, Yu Dafu and Sun Quan got married. Yu Dafu has a lonely personality, unwilling to organize the wedding as lively as ordinary people, on the wedding day, because of Yu Dafu's insistence, the family did not hold any ceremony for the couple, and even did not invite witnesses or matchmakers to attend, and even the new house was simply arranged.
It is such a simple wedding, Sun Quan has no complaints, she is truly in love with Yu Dafu.
When Yu Dafu left Japan, he was disgusted with Japan:
Japan is the land I hate the most, so I probably won't come back in the future. Because I am a member of the proletariat, I probably don't sit on a ship to the United States and then moor to Kobe Yokohama.
In 1921, Yu Dafu was transferred to Anqing, and Sun Quan followed, and later followed her husband in Shanghai and Beiping.
This is the happiest time in Sun Quan's life, she gave birth to a son and two daughters for Yu Dafu, Sun Quan is very virtuous, at home with a husband and a son, and guards the way of women.
But this marriage has always been flawed in Yu Dafu's heart.
No matter how good Sun Quan is, she is still an arranged marriage by her parents, Yu Dafu became a fighter for the May Fourth New Literature Movement, personality liberation and marriage freedom spread among literati across the country, and many young people who accepted the new trend of thought decisively abandoned the original match arranged by their parents, which has become the current fashion.
Moreover, at the beginning of this marriage, Yu Dafu and Sun Quan were in love with each other in a long distance. Yu Dafu returned to Japan after getting engaged, and had a little time to miss Sun Quan in every way, and he actually fell in love with Sun Quan in his imagination. After living with Sun Quan, this romance ceased to exist.
Yu Dafu will not only be satisfied with such a dull married life, that is, during this time he met the wind and dust woman Begonia.
At this time, Yu Dafu was already a well-known novelist of the new school and was still teaching at Anhui Law and Politics College. At that time, there were countless young women who admired Yu Dafu, and many of them were extremely outstanding in appearance.
But after every day after class, Yu Dafu will definitely go to the residence of Begonia outside the city. Because there was still an early class the next morning, Yu Dafu had to rush to the city gate early in the early morning and patiently wait for the gate to open.
Such a socialite mixed with an old and decrepit prostitute has already made people talk about it.
Yu Dafu clearly recorded this relationship in the novel "The Vast Night", and the begonia girl in the story is the begonia in real life.
Yu Dafu also did not really "see Xi Shi in the eyes of his lover", his aesthetic is still normal, he said in the novel that Begonia looks like an "ape", but emotionally, Begonia actually gives Yu Dafu a lot of comfort.
Yu Dafu has suffered from white eyes in Japan for so many years, and originally returned to China with the ideal of patriotic power.
But now that China is worried about internal and external troubles, which he can easily change as a literati, Yu Dafu fell into unprecedented confusion.
During this period, Yu Dafu has been constantly hovering between hope and despair, one moment perked up, the other was decadent, and his relationship with Sun Quan was also good and bad, often doing absurd things.
Once Yu Dafu went to a grocery store to buy something, he said to buy needles, and after the lady gave Yu Dafu, Yu Dafu asked the lady for an old handkerchief.
It is already a bit weird for a big man to buy these things, and what is even more outrageous is that after Yu Dafu returned home, he first punctured his hand with a needle, then smeared it on an old handkerchief, and then put it on his nose to sniff it abruptly.
And all these strange behaviors later changed because of the encounter with Begonia, and Yu Dafu was much more normal than before.
Like Haitang, Yu Dafu feels that this society is unfair, and his prostitute is not really covetous of women, and he wants to fill the injustice in his heart.
What others think is ugly, he prefers to want, what others don't like, he wants to be a treasure, he just wants to be an enemy of the world.
And the gentleness and thoughtfulness of Begonia also made Yu Dafu slowly calm down, and they became the object of pouring out bitterness to each other.
But Yu Dafu's character and Begonia's identity made them doomed to be impossible together, and in 1921, Yu Dafu went to take the graduation exam of the University of Tokyo, but he still left Anqing and no longer contacted Haitang.
One is a good-looking wife, an ugly and soft-hearted good-looking, plus I don't know how many dewy marriages, middle-aged Yu Dafu's emotional experience is already quite rich.
In 1927, Yu Dafu fell in love with Wang Yingxia at first sight under the white terror.
Wang Yingxia and Yu Dafu
On the day I met Wang Yingxia, Sun Quan was giving birth, Yu Dafu had just received the leather coat she sent, the warmth of the family, and the suffering of his wife could not tie his heart like a wild horse.
Wang Yingxia is the "school flower" of Hangzhou Women's Normal in Zhejiang Province, and is known as the first of the four beauties of Hangzhou.
Because of her new education, Wang Yingxia was open-minded, and the two came together under Yu Dafu's enthusiastic pursuit.
At that time, Wang Yingxia was 20 years old and Yu Dafu was 32 years old, and almost all of Wang Yingxia's friends opposed her being with Yu Dafu, and the most important reason was that Yu Dafu wanted to have a wife and children.
Wang Yingxia and Yu Dafu had a long talk, and demanded that Yu Dafu must abandon his wife and children, and even betray society and family, so that the two can be together openly.
The middle-aged Yu Dafu is not in very good physical condition, and should have gradually been steady and steady, but at this time he was still as impulsive and desperate as a teenager. After a period of vacillation, Yu Dafu finally decided to get engaged to Wang Yingxia in June 1927.
Sun Quan's mother and son live in seclusion in Fuyang, but the living expenses still need Yu Dafu to help.
After experiencing such a chaotic marriage, Sun Quan had long been disheartened, and after returning to his hometown, he lived in his mother's house, eating fasting and praying Buddha every day, and relying on his children until his death in 1978.
In August, Yu Dafu recorded all the love process between him and Wang Yingxia, and the content was novel and bold, which once caused a sensation.
In February 1928, Yu Dafu and Wang Yingxia got married, and gave birth to their first boy in 1929. Wang Yingxia gave birth to a total of 4 sons to Yu Dafu.
In 1939, Yu Dafu was in Singapore with Republican actress Yuying and other friends
Wang Yingxia could not stop her husband from continuing to go his own way, he lay drunk in the snow in winter, and left alone during the war, leaving Wang Yingxia to take care of the children.
All these cast a shadow on Wang Yingxia's heart.
Yu Dafu, who was in a foreign country, listened to rumors and thought that Wang Yingxia's relationship with a third party was abnormal, and Yu Dafu and Wang Yingxia's sense of trust gradually collapsed. Wang Yingxia was obviously framed, and at this moment she was particularly aggrieved and ran away from home in a fit of anger.
And the impulsive Yu Dafu actually published a notice on the Ta Kung Pao looking for his wife.
At the end of December 1938, Yu Dafu met the 21-year-old singer Yujiao, and lived a glue-like husband and wife life for a few days, so that after the breakup, Yu Dafu still missed her, and Wang Yingxia had almost no possibility of redemption.
In 1939, Yu Dafu published the famous "Poems of Destroying the Family" in a Hong Kong newspaper and periodical, making the "family ugly" public: accusing Wang Yingxia of betraying her husband in marriage, and friends learned about it and mediated with many parties, but it was difficult to recover, and the two finally divorced by agreement in Singapore.
Wang Yingxia and Yu Dafu parted ways with hatred for each other, and Wang Yingxia later married Zhong Xiandao, manager of the Central China Aviation Bureau, probably to save face, Wang Yingxia's wedding was extremely extravagant and luxurious.
After Wang Yingxia left, 46-year-old Yu Dafu almost seamlessly, and fell in love with Li Xiaoying, a 26-year-old wife with a husband, Li Xiaoying wanted to marry Yu Dafu after the divorce, but Yu Dafu's sons were resolutely opposed, and it was useless for Li Xiaoying to please them, and in December 1941, Li Xiaoying left the Yu family.
In 1943, Yu Dafu came to Indonesia to escape persecution by the Japanese, under the pseudonym Zhao Lian.
His last marriage was different from the previous ones, this woman had no culture, ordinary appearance, did not even understand Chinese, and was He Li, the daughter of an overseas Chinese.
Hu Yuzhi once wrote in the article "The Exile and Disappearance of Yu Dafu": The reason why Yu Dafu married such a girl was because he was afraid that his secret would be leaked.
That is to say, Yu Dafu was using this lady to hide his identity, and he finally changed from an emotional life to a rational life, and he wrote many anti-Japanese articles after arriving in Nanyang, and at this time he was determined to die as a martyr.
In 1945, Japan was defeated and surrendered, and Yu Dafu was killed by the Japanese military police at the age of 49. It was only after Yu Dafu was killed that He Li learned that he was a Chinese celebrity, not an ordinary winery owner.
He Li and Yu Dafu had a son and a daughter, the son named Yu Daya (Ya), which has the meaning of ironically promoting the "Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere" promoted by Japanese militarism, and the daughter was born the day after Yu Dafu was killed.
He Li and son Daya
Yu Dafu's whole life is wandering in love, he is a particularly "narcissistic" man, the women he pursues at first thought that he was everything to Yu Dafu, he wrote amazing love poems for them, regardless of other people's opinions, regardless of social status, regardless of the opposition of family and friends...
And after the passion retreated, the women discovered that this is not a kind of desperation, but an irresponsibility, it is his emotional willfulness, and what he loves is actually himself.
Yu Dafu's marriage tragedy, in the final analysis, is that his childhood permissiveness made him only care about himself, and his failed love affair in Japan made him form a deformed view of marriage and love, and he has never given up the pursuit of talented women and beautiful women in his life, and can only truly reflect on himself when facing the two "saltless women" of Haitang and He Li.