"Resistance to Chinese cuisine is not antipathy to China and Chinese, but interest in China!"
"It's just that I was born and really didn't have the face to eat!"
In 1994, Japanese writer Haruki Murakami visited Japan, and in order to receive him, the staff held a grand banquet.
However, Haruki Murakami refused the staff's kindness, took out the canned food he carried from his backpack, and ate it.
In Murakami's life, he had never eaten Chinese food, and even when he passed by a Chinese restaurant, he would feel sick in his heart.
"In fact, I ate almost everything, but Chinese food is absolutely impossible in any way!"
What happened to Haruki Murakami and why was he reluctant to try Chinese cuisine anyway?
Growing up in Japan, why did he say things like "I really don't have the face to eat"?
Today, we will talk about Haruki Murakami, who can be called a "clear stream" among Japanese writers.
Haruki Murakami was born in 1949 in Fushimi Ward, Kyoto, Japan.
His father, Chiaki Murakami, is a Japanese language teacher and his mother is a housewife.
Like many boys, Haruki Murakami grew up adoring his father and seeing him as the hero of his life.
And his father also doted on Haruki Murakami very much, no matter how naughty he was, he would not hit him, and even verbal abuse rarely occurred.
Although in Murakami's eyes, the figure of his father is very tall, he occasionally shows an unknown soft side.
When Haruki Murakami was a child, he often saw his father alone in the yard, showing a sad expression, chanting sutras and chanting Buddha alone.
Each time, Haruki Murakami would take his father's arm and ask him why he did it.
To this, my father's response was always only one sentence.
"I am praying for my comrades lost in the war, and for the Chinese who have died!"
After that, no matter how much Murakami asked, his father would not say another word.
At the age of 12, Haruki Murakami began to contact European and American literature, and after that, he spent his days with literature.
It also laid a solid foundation for him to embark on the road of writing later.
The reason why Haruki Murakami embarked on the road of writing is inextricably linked to his father.
But this is also the most painful and helpless point for him.
Knowing that his father had participated in the war of aggression against China, Haruki Murakami showed great despair.
He even wrote so in letters to and from friends.
"I don't know if I should stop my pen and if the words I write are dirty?"
For a while, he closed himself in the library, constantly looking for materials and looking for clues about his father's time in the army.
After consulting a large amount of information, Murakami discovered that his father had once belonged to the heavy army.
This made him breathe a long sigh of relief, in Murakami's opinion, the heavy army did not have to participate in the battle, and his father was not necessarily an executioner.
But in fact, in order to maintain food supplies, the heavy army sent a large number of people to the battlefield in China.
At this time, the soldiers of the heavy army often faced the situation of "too many monks and few porridges".
After the war entered a stalemate phase, the Japanese army became increasingly short of food.
The heavy troops were no longer simply logistical supply troops, and they began to loot people and destroy farmland along the way.
Burning, looting, and committing all kinds of evil crimes were not much less than the Japanese troops who went to battle.
The more information he queried, the more desperate Murakami became in his heart, and the truth he least wanted to see was presented to him.
In addition to collecting military food, Haruki Murakami's father's unit was also responsible for disposing of prisoners of war.
This is like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, hitting Haruki Murakami's heart.
"It doesn't matter if my father started the execution or not, in fact, he was just a member of the procession, which is also unacceptable to me!"
From then on, he began to expose his father's actions in novels.
This led to an invisible gap between him and his father.
Because of the existence of this gap, Haruki Murakami has not been able to reconcile with his father so far, and even affected his life.
Haruki Murakami had a happy childhood, but his life changed dramatically after his father told him about that year.
His father treated him very well, so good that he could not even see that he had been a member of the Japanese army that invaded China.
But after learning the truth, he could not overlap an executioner with his amiable father anyway.
This led to a rather serious sense of estrangement between him and his father.
He also knew that his parents were very kind to him, but the more so, the more grief he felt in his heart.
On the one hand, he felt sorry for his father, even if everything was wrong with him, but after all, he gave himself life and accompanied him.
On the other hand, he really couldn't accept the fact that his father had been an executioner.
He was sandwiched between the two, as if roasting over a fire.
That painful feeling made Haruki Murakami shudder when he still thinks about it.
In order to alleviate the guilt in his heart, he kept punishing himself and treating the world with the most humble attitude.
Haruki Murakami married very early, in 1971, while he was in college, he married his classmate Yoko Takahashi.
After marriage, the two lived in Yoko's parents' house.
Murakami relied on his father-in-law to support him, while working hard in a jazz bar to earn money, and even took a year off from school.
It wasn't until the two graduated in 1972 and started running a jazz bar that the economy improved.
Having had the most difficult time, the relationship between the two has always been very good.
But even today, Haruki Murakami is 73 years old and still has no descendants, as for the reason, he once said in an interview.
In 1984, Haruki Murakami said in an interview with reporters.
"I can't have children... I just don't have the confidence of my parents' generation that the world will get better after the war! ”
In his heart, his father's experience is a hurdle he can never overcome.
Although his father treated him well, Haruki Murakami still felt hurt, and these injuries are still fresh in his mind to this day.
Therefore, he was ashamed of having his father's blood on his body, and he was not sure whether to continue to pass it on.
That's why he still doesn't want to leave his descendants behind.
Before 1984, although Murakami had depicted Chinese extensively in his novels, he had never been to China.
Because he doesn't know what attitude to use.
In 1984, Haruki Murakami set foot on Chinese soil for the first time.
After the visit, the staff invited Haruki Murakami to a banquet, but he did not expect to be directly rejected by him.
"I have an incurable allergy to Chinese cuisine!"
After speaking, he took out the Japanese canned food he had brought with him and ate it.
In fact, Haruki Murakami is not allergic to Chinese cuisine.
The reason why he refuses to eat Chinese food is actually more of a kind of inner demon.
Chinese food reminds him of memories hidden in his heart that he does not want to mention, resulting in physical rejection.
When he was a child, his father told him about him, and the vast amount of information he consulted, told him about crimes in Japan all the time.
This gives him the idea that he was born with "original sin."
Like Adam and Eve in the Bible, after stealing the forbidden fruit, "original sin" arises.
And Murakami Haruki's "original sin" was born in the home of the Japanese army who invaded China.
Although Haruki Murakami has been reflecting on his father's crimes, between the lines, he still does not jump out of the limitations of the Japanese.
His reflection is not from the perspective of Chinese as a victim.
It's about reflecting on what you're doing from the perspective of all humanity.
He blames all his crimes on the system, and sometimes even exonerates his father.
In 2019, in his essay "Abandoned Cat", he wrote such a paragraph.
"We are but countless drops, a nameless drop of raindrops that fall into the vast earth."
"A raindrop has its own history, and we should not forget the responsibility and obligation to pass on this history."
"Even if it is easily engulfed, loses its individual contours, is replaced by a whole, and thus gradually disappears."
"No, it should be said that it is precisely because it will be replaced by an individual and thus gradually disappear that we should remember it even more."
The first two sentences can be understood as not forgetting the numerous crimes committed by the father.
But when the words turned, the last two sentences said that the father was also a victim.
Because he is caught up in the tide of the times, he can't help himself by doing bad things.
It can be seen that from beginning to end, Haruki Murakami looked at the events of the year from the perspective of a person or a Japanese.
Even unconsciously, exonerate his own father.
In the novel, Haruki Murakami depicts many of his father's misery when he was in the army.
Lack of food, rags, harsh rebukes from superiors, in words, portrayed my father as very pitiful.
Regarding the numerous crimes committed by the Japanese army in China, the essay only stops at the stage of admitting it.
As for what was wrong, the article did not mention a word.
This ambiguous way of admitting mistakes is also reflected in Haruki Murakami's earlier works.
In 1995, Haruki Murakami published the historical novel "The Chronicle of Clockwork Birds".
In the novel, he uses the words of Lieutenant Mamiya to place the responsibility for the war on the initiator and rule the emperor of Japan.
The soldiers on the battlefield are puppets under the manipulation of the emperor.
In Murakami's view, his father was a puppet manipulated by the emperor, and it was not his intention to participate in the war.
From this, we can know that Haruki Murakami is actually a very tangled writer.
On the one hand, because of his father's past, he fell into a deep self-blame, and even punished himself by refusing to stay behind.
On the other hand, in order to alleviate the guilt of himself and his father, he placed all the responsibility on those in power.
This ambiguous way seems to admit the numerous crimes committed back then, but in fact it is just self-moving.
In 1970, the "kneeling of Warsaw" completely freed Germany from the shadow of World War II, and it was able to raise its head and chest and stride forward.
And now, Xiao Ri is still hesitating whether he should admit his guilt back then.
This ambiguous attitude is the same as Haruki Murakami's novel.
If the bloody scars are not completely uncovered, the gap between the two will never be eliminated.
Sooner or later, someone will have to bear the unbearable pain for this scar.
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