In the 90s, Hong Kong was rich in countless beautiful women. They amaze time and carry the memories of a generation.
Among them, Ye Yunyi is a god-level existence.
She has the praise of "Barbie in the world", with a flexible temperament, sweet and colorful, she is the heroine in Jackie Chan's drama and the goddess that Lin Zhiying loves.
However, she became famous at a young age, but due to a wrong life choice, her career was ruined and half her life was ruined.
Now, the 49-year-old Ye Yunyi has regained her former beauty and returned with a new identity, surprising everyone.
For so many years, what is the force that has supported her to go through the ups and downs of life and achieve nirvana rebirth?
Became famous at a young age, but became a "prisoner bird" in the besieged city
Yip was born in Hong Kong in 1973.
Although her family is ordinary, she has been cheerful, smart and cute since she was a child, and when she was 13 years old, she was accidentally discovered by a talent scout, and has since stepped into the entertainment industry, and quickly became popular with her pure and sweet image.
In 1988, the movie "The Peacock Prince" starring Ye Yunyi became popular in Japan and South Korea. She was selected by Japanese audiences as one of the "world's favorite actresses" and won the "Most Popular Foreign Actress Award" in Korea.
With her excellent performance, Ye Yunyi is also hot in China, and her partners are all first-line superstars.
partner Jackie Chan and Anita Mui starred in "Miracle";
co-starred in "Blessing" with Zheng Yuling and Qin Han;
Collaborated with Andy Lau, Carina Lau and Kwok Fucheng in "The Heroes of the Condor of 91"...
Ye Yunyi has advanced all the way in the entertainment industry and has a promising future.
However, when she became famous at a young age, she would not have imagined that her life would be completely changed because of a man.
His name is Chen Pak Ho, he is a wealthy businessman and is known as the "Hong Kong toy king".
Chen Baihao is young and promising, with a lot of wealth, although there is no shortage of Yingying Yanyan around him, but he has a soft spot for Ye Yunyi, and has repeatedly staged the bridge of "overlord spoiling the little wife", which is not only gentle and considerate, but also creates romance.
20-year-old Ye Yunyi, under the fierce pursuit of the other party, began to let down his guard.
She once said that her greatest wish was to be the princess of the castle.
Therefore, when she was held in the palm of her hand, she did not hesitate to marry, she gave up her thriving career and plunged into marriage without hesitation.
On the wedding day, the stage was arranged like a fairy tale, and Ye Yunyi was the princess in the castle.
However, short-lived happiness blooms like fireworks, and the ending of fairy tales is not all beautiful.
Soon after marriage, Ye Yunyi became pregnant, but her husband began to stay up at night like a changed person. Until he gave birth to his second child, Chen Baihao finally revealed his true face, shrugged off his responsibilities, and went his own way.
The infidelity of her husband, the difficulties of her in-laws, and the exhaustion of parenting made Ye Yunyi in a dilemma, wanting to cry without tears.
For the sake of a princess dream, she became the "canary" in the besieged city.
Five years later, the marriage ended dismally, but the tragedy did not end there.
After the divorce, Ye Yunyi was alone with two children, and her life was stretched. A year later, Chen declared bankruptcy and promised child support as a blank check.
For his own selfish interests, Chen Baihao publicly slandered Ye Yunyi, exposed her privacy in front of the media, and pointed out that she was unscrupulous about the life of husband and wife, which completely nailed Ye Yunyi to the pillar of shame of "lust for women".
Her pure image was devastated, and overnight, word of mouth fell to a low point.
After losing his career, ending his marriage, and experiencing unforgettable pain, it was a transformation into a butterfly.
She wrote on the paper: "The day has finally come, and I have not shed a single tear. ”
Until this moment, she finally understood:
Women, instead of expecting others to build castles, it is better to put a crown on themselves with their own hands by strength.
Don't be someone else's decoration and live your own princess
It is often said that marriage changes destiny, and it is true.
But in essence, it is not the marriage itself that changes destiny, but the way people deal with marriage.
It is also a wealthy marriage, but some people have lived a completely different life, such as Guo Jingjing.
As a "clear stream" in wealthy marriages, she is called a model of feminism.
As early as when she and Huo Qigang were in love, she had made an agreement in three chapters: "Love can't take up training time; Can't go to the training ground to see her; You can't get married before you retire from service." As an athlete, she never forgets to focus on winning gold medals
Love is sweet, but growing up is more important.
After getting married, even if she lost the aura of a champion, Guo Jingjing never stopped learning, studying language, studying business management, volunteering, doing charity, and constantly enriching and improving herself.
Because she understands that only when she continues to grow can she have the confidence to stick to her true colors.
She never deliberately fits into any circle, nor does she deliberately maintain any kind of image. Dress plainly and low-key, and go to the party without makeup.
Even if she married into a wealthy family, Guo Jingjing still adhered to her internal order and was not kidnapped by the external environment.
On the contrary, she has been working hard to manage herself, grow up at an orderly pace, be responsible for her own life, be assertive in everything, and always be clear.
With her personal strength, she won the respect of the Huo family and won freedom in the wealthy family.
Some people say that Guo Jingjing's happy marriage comes from heaven's love, but behind every bit of luck, it benefits from a certain quality of herself: such as self-improvement, self-reliance, and self-responsibility.
As Carnegie said:
"Independent women themselves have the ability to create happiness, and love is just the icing on the cake for them."
Don't be someone else's decoration, not anyone's wife, always just be yourself.
For this point, Ye Yunyi also woke up after several ups and downs of fate.
Fortunately, it was not too late.
In 2015, Ye Yunyi published "Their Two and Three Things", starting from her own story, thinking about women's rights and life, and the book once appeared on the annual sales list.
Later, she also went to Melbourne to study for a Master of Fine Arts, and after returning home, she founded her own art studio. After losing weight, she regained her former beauty and returned to the public eye as a visual artist.
After running away for half a life and experiencing vicissitudes, although she is no longer the girl of the year when she returned, she has regained the power she once lost and found a new direction in life.
As people often say, women's backbone, nobility, and arrogance all come from the bottom.
And this confidence is: who I leave, I am myself.
Take responsibility for yourself and embrace inner peace
Once received a visiting woman, she described her husband as a straight man of steel, complained that his husband was cold and ruthless, did not understand her needs, the two often had nothing to say, and there was only endless pain in marriage.
I asked her, "Have you ever thought about doing something to change it?" ”
She was puzzled: "These are his problems, why should I change them?" ”
She was like a person with nowhere to go, trapped in a small space, unable to get a respite. Eventually, she accepted the advice, starting with stopping complaining, "Try it, it's better than doing nothing." ”
So, she began to let go of the blame and look for a broader meaning in life. When she has a job she loves, friends she likes, and a wide range of hobbies, looking back at her marriage, it doesn't seem to be as bad as she imagined.
With the improvement of the relationship between husband and wife, she gradually understood that she actually hoped to let the people around her see her pain by "complaining" and further expected him to change.
But the reality is often disappointing, the outside world will not change easily, people still have to rely on themselves to complete themselves.
It is said that marriage is a woman's second life, but the rise and fall of fate and the bitterness of life ultimately depend on herself.
Renowned speaker Jay Riefenbori said, "Making no excuses is a spirit of self-responsibility." ”
However, overthrowing the old self and reshaping the new self and embarking on the road of self-responsibility is not an easy task:
First, take responsibility for your actions:
Shirking responsibility is actually a human instinct, a defensive way to avoid suffering.
Freud et al. said: Admitting mistakes means that we need to be punished for it, which is unbearable. And escape is the easiest and most direct way to get away from pain.
However, escape does not allow one's life to truly move into the future.
On the contrary, understanding the true self, accepting your own limitations, before doing things, to reasonably predict the consequences of behavior, and not to do things beyond the control of ability, is the guarantee that a person can shoulder the consequences of behavior.
Second, take responsibility for your choices:
Choice is the norm of life. Because a person has limited resources, we have to make trade-offs.
But the choice is often painful, because not everyone knows what they want most.
In this regard, the book "Five Times" gives advice: we need a self-created limit situation, because the more extreme the situation, the more likely people are to get closer to the truth.
Here's how to do this: Design yourself a memorial service rehearsal, assuming that you are standing at the end of your life to examine today's decisions, how do you want to write in this life? Which events do you want to choose, and in what way, will fill the time of this lifetime?
Write down and make a list of things that are important to do even when you turn back in time.
Only by clarifying the "priority of major issues" can people not get lost before choosing, and dare to take responsibility after choosing.
Finally, take responsibility for your own well-being:
Growth is a process of constant self-correction, in which no one is obligated to take responsibility for our happiness but ourselves.
Learning to take responsibility for ourselves means that we finally have the courage to face up to and accept the truth of life.
When we decide to no longer rely on others, no longer shirk responsibility, no longer let go of emotions, and no longer leave our sorrows and joys in life to others to control, we can carry our lives and walk our own way.
Even if your lover leaves, you must face loneliness; Even if you experience wind and waves, you can have peace of mind.
I like the saying that no matter what the future looks like, it is the result of our active choices. Not expecting, not complaining, and holding the sovereignty of life in your own hands is the best gift to yourself.
With you!
Curated | Fish sweet
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