#头条创作挑战赛 #
Say goodbye to "road rage" and be a driver meditator
What is Road Rage? As the name suggests, it is a mental illness that is angry as soon as you drive on the road, which is characterized by a fiery personality and is extremely prone to anger.
In fact, not only driving, but also "road rage" can be seen everywhere in life, and even many family tragedies are caused by "road rage".
The protagonist of this article, Xu Hui, has turned himself into an out-and-out "road rage" because of various "Alexander", whether it is driving, treating his family or work, he is irritable and irritable. Gradually, the people around her turned away from her and regarded her as a "flood beast". When the relationships drop to freezing point, she wakes up alone, looking for all ways to change...
Anger on the road, impulsiveness at home
Xu Hui, then 29, was a native of Daye, Hubei Province, and worked as an order taker in a foreign trade company in Wuhan. Married to husband Huang Jue for five years, the two have a three-year-old son, Dongdong, who has just enrolled in a well-known bilingual kindergarten in Wuhan. Xu Hui's salary is linked to performance, and she encounters many arrogant customers when talking about business on weekdays. But for this good salary, she can only swallow bitter water into her stomach, and please all kinds of strange customers with a smile every day. Her husband Huang Jue works in a state-owned enterprise, with a stable job but a low salary, and as her son grows up and the expenses are getting bigger and bigger, Xu Hui, who likes to worry about everything, feels that the burden on her shoulders is heavier.
Xu Hui works far from home. Seeing that their son was in kindergarten, in order to facilitate transportation, the couple bought an affordable Peugeot 308 in July 2014. Every morning, Xu Hui drove her son and husband to kindergarten and work, and then went to work by herself. But I don't know when Huang Jue found that his wife seemed to have changed as long as she sat in the cab.
Every time the red light just changed to green, Xu Hui honked her horn to urge the car in front. If you meet those who do not hit the turn signal and change lanes at will, Xu Hui will immediately break his mouth and scold, and sometimes he will deliberately drive to the side of people's cars, roll down the window and "scold" at them.
Huang Jue, who was sitting in the co-pilot, comforted his wife more than once: "Don't be so anxious, you can go home safely!" But Xu Hui always shot back furiously, "You don't drive, you don't understand, now some people drive too immorally, can't say two words?" To make matters worse, Xu Hui also brought her violent temper while driving home with her. In the past, Xu Hui took the bus to and from work, although she came back late, she was always in a happy mood, talking and laughing with her husband while cleaning up the housework. But since driving to and from work, although the time to get home is early, the smile on her face is gone, and she can't help but accuse her husband and son, this is not done, that is not done well, in addition to nagging is all kinds of complaints.
One Friday in March 2015, Xu Hui came home from work and encountered a traffic jam. More than an hour passed, her car slowly moved a kilometer, Xu Hui looked manic in the car, trying to plug it, eager to cross through the gap. The more urgent it became, the more chaotic she rear-ended a Maserati. The traffic police came, of course, Xu Hui's full responsibility, although she bought insurance, she still lost a lot, and the insurance company said that next year's insurance will not be discounted again.
A few days later, Xu Hui argued on the road for a long time because of a traffic friction and came back late. As soon as she entered the door and found that the house was empty, the clothes piled on the sofa were not folded, the dishes on the table were not cleaned up, and at that moment, her temper was like a volcanic eruption, and she quickly called her husband's phone. As soon as the phone was connected, she sharply accused her husband of losing three and four, pushing all the housework to her, and so on. Before she could vent, her husband had already hung up the phone, and he was unwilling to answer his husband again. Half an hour later, she finally saw her husband return with his sleeping child.
It turned out that her son had a fever, and she did not answer her husband's call to her, and in desperation, her husband had to take his son to the hospital by himself, but she was arguing with the other party with great interest. Because of this, Huang Jue was reluctant to talk to her for a long time, and the relationship between the couple also fell into a freezing point.
In order to ease the relationship between husband and wife, Xu Hui took the initiative to show favor to her husband and proposed to take her in-laws over to live for a few days. But in just two days, the two old men went home because they couldn't stand Xu Hui's violent temper. It was originally intended to ease the relationship between husband and wife, but it became a catalyst, making the couple's relationship even worse. Not only that, Xu Hui's irritable personality is also reflected in her work, since she was promoted to supervisor, she loves to reprimand her subordinates at every turn, and everyone behind her back says that she is early menopause.
Learn to meditate, and your vision is indifferent
Xu Hui knew in her heart that she had been like a demon in the past two years, and she loved to lose her temper at every turn, she knew that this was not good, but she couldn't control it. She even secretly saw a doctor to see if there was something wrong with her endocrine. But the doctor's test results were normal, just let her rest more.
Xu Hui followed the doctor's advice, no longer stayed up late, and went to bed very early, but the situation still did not improve. After thinking about it, she found that she was particularly prone to anger when driving, thinking that this was the crux of the problem, so she decisively gave up driving, and instead let her husband drive her son every day, and resumed taking the subway and bus herself. But she couldn't stand it for a week, either complaining about the large number of people in the car or complaining about the delay on the road for too long. Seeing that road rage did not improve at all, Xu Hui had to give up this method of treating the symptoms but not the root cause.
One day, when Xu Hui was eating in the cafeteria at noon, she heard colleagues discussing how to reduce pressure, and one of his colleagues said that after a certain relative of his recently participated in a short-term monastic activity held by the Wuzu Temple in Huangmei, the whole person was reborn and became a lot quieter and peaceful, and even a little bit of Xian Feng Dao bone. When Xu Hui heard this, she was immediately very interested, and after work, she found on the Internet that the Four Peaks Temple in her hometown Daye was also holding spiritual activities, and immediately signed up for the next activity.
A week later, Xu Hui took her annual leave and was ready to go to the monastery to experience a pure Brahma practice. When she first arrived at the temple, Xu Hui felt the breeze rushing towards her, and the sound of Buddha in her ears was bursting, and her originally restless heart suddenly calmed down a lot. After entering the meditation class, Xu Hui got up at five o'clock every morning and chanted with everyone. At first, Xu Hui couldn't sit still after sitting for a while, but seeing that everyone was motionless and immersed in practice, she was embarrassed to leave alone, so she had to read the scriptures patiently. But while reading it, Xu Hui felt that this tongue-twisting scripture seemed to really have the magic power of calming the mind, and everything around her was gradually moving away, slowly disappearing, leaving only her and her own hearts looking at each other...
Every morning at seven o'clock, the practitioners fasted in the morning, and before the meal, there is a solemn ritual to teach the students to be grateful for every grain of rice and every dish. Remembering that she hurriedly ate breakfast every morning and threw away the things she couldn't eat, Xu Hui felt a deep guilt for the first time.
In the temple, in addition to chanting, they also need to go out to the slope, that is, do some simple manual labor. Xu Hui's most common thing is to water and fertilize the vegetables in the vegetable garden, the first time she watered, she was greedy for quick and convenient, and poured a spoonful of water all over a vegetable at once, and a master in the monastery saw it and taught her seriously that the water should not be watered all at once, but should be watered little at a time, so that the water is easy to master and not too much. Xu Hui tried several times according to the master's words, and found that if this is the case, everything must not be rushed, otherwise the speed will not be reached.
During the period of study at the temple, according to the regulations, Xu Hui could only eat light vegetables every day, and was not allowed to dip meat. In the past, Xu Hui's taste was heavy and spicy. After entering the temple, she only ate porridge with greens every day, and even the buns were vegetarian. At first, she couldn't adapt at all, and the lackluster food made her regret coming here to suffer. But no one in the class flinched, she didn't want to be the laughing stock of others, she could only grit her teeth and insist. Unconsciously, she found that her taste really became lighter, and even her speech became softer and softer.
Time flies quickly, and in the blink of an eye, 20 days of practice have passed in a hurry, and Xu Hui feels that her whole person has changed, and she is no longer so impatient when things happen. When she sat in the cab again after not touching the car for a long time, she took a deep breath. When she encountered a red light on the road, she still had the urge to honk the horn, but she restrained, turned on the player, and played soothing light music, the music was slowly like flowing water, and Xu Hui's heart was instantly smoothed. When the family arrived home happily along the way, his son Dongdong praised for the first time: "Mom has become civilized, it's awesome!" Hearing her son's praise, her heart blossomed, and she kissed her son one after another.
Improve mood and accept setbacks
Returning to the hustle and bustle of the city, Xu Hui was very worried that her hard-won mentality would slowly be restored again. Huang Jue smiled and said, "The master brings in the door and practices to see the individual." There are also many ways to nourish your heart in life, such as fishing is a good choice, you can try. "In the past, whenever she saw her husband fishing, Xu Hui felt extremely boring. Now, she is interested.
Xu Hui first learned the fishing experience of the masters online, and also carefully studied how the anglers in the video tied the bait and when to close the rod. But in practice, there are always gaps. Xu Hui often could not grasp the best time to close the line, causing the alert fish to slip away quickly. At first, Xu Hui was quite frustrated, and after several fruitless returns, she thought of giving up.
She didn't catch a single fish for an entire day over the weekend, and disappointed, she divided the rest of her feed among an elderly angler and decided not to come here again. When the old man learned of Xu Hui's embarrassment, he began to teach her by hand. According to the old man's method, Xu Hui quickly caught fish jumping alive. Xu Hui's understanding is very high, and she has mastered the trick a few times, and the old man praises her cleverness one after another.
At that moment, Xu Hui had an epiphany, it turned out that holding your breath while fishing, waiting minute by minute is the most testing of a person's heart, and it is also the most able to make a person self-cultivation. This truth can't help but make Xu Huilian think that when waiting for a red light, it is like waiting for the process of a fish to be hooked, only if the mind is as calm as water, not arrogant or impetuous, people can stay away from "road rage" and are not easy to be controlled by negative emotions.
Slowly, Xu Hui's "quiet heart" attitude also penetrated into family life. She knows that practice is everywhere, not only in temples, fishing, raising flowers, and meditating are all good ways to cultivate nature, all of which are expensive to adhere to. In the past, she cooked like a war, hurrying through a few dishes, no matter what the taste, as long as she could eat it. But since she caught fresh fish, Xu Hui has been thinking about how to make delicious fish out of this freshest fish. This time steaming, the next braised braised will change the pattern every time. The emotions in life are infected with each other, her son and husband eat happily, and Xu Hui is happy to watch.
After the family relationship was handled, Xu Hui's mood became more and more open. Once, she drove with another colleague to meet a client. Who knew that during the journey, a small car suddenly changed lanes, did not hit the turn signal, and suddenly jumped in front of her car. Fortunately, Xu Hui reacted quickly and slammed on the brakes so that there was no collision. Before he could scold, his colleague sitting in the passenger seat suddenly shouted: "If I had been bumped into it a long time ago, it was his full responsibility anyway, let him know that driving is also about the rules." ”
Facing the "road rage" beside her, Xu Hui smiled helplessly, as if she saw her former self. So she told this colleague about her former self, what symptoms belong to "road rage", and how she quit arrogance and stay away from "road rage", listening to her colleague's yearning, saying that she should also cultivate herself and stay away from "road rage".
With the increase of car owners, the team of "road rage" is getting bigger and bigger. Although we can't control the irregular behavior of some people when driving, we can choose to effectively control our emotions and not let ourselves become irritable and irritable "road rage".
Because, when we are nervous, we will have a calm and composure; By being quiet in times of anger, we can resolve conflicts with gentle winds and drizzles; When we are tired, we will be quiet, and we will walk the road back with more confidence; When we are proud, we will find that success is really insignificant. Learn to meditate, and we will find that life is shining with sunshine and flowers...