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Eileen Chang| I have nothing but the dream of a genius – all is just the obedience of a genius

author:Qingfeng Historical Pavilion

"In real society, I am equal to a waste". Eileen Zhang evaluates herself so harshly, which is naturally a disadvantage for ordinary people, but for writers and artists, it is often the embodiment of artistic temperament.

As my childhood fantasies faded, I found that I had nothing but the dreams of genius—all that was just the perverse shortcomings of genius. The world forgives Waggné's estrangement, but they will not forgive me.

In her freshman year, Eileen Zhang wrote the application essay "My Genius Dream" - what an extraordinary topic! She is actually announcing to the literary world and readers that a literary genius is about to be born.

Eileen Chang| I have nothing but the dream of a genius – all is just the obedience of a genius

Eileen Chang once talked about her many "quirks", many of which were inferior to ordinary people, so that when she was old, she was also a strange person in Chinese-American circles and did not interact with others.

When she initially scribbled on words, she lacked the ability to take care of herself at least:

I can't peel apples, I can't mend socks, I can't go to the barbershop, I am afraid to meet customers, I can't knit sweaters, I can't remember the number of my car at home. I lived in a room for two years and never knew where the bell was. For three months in a row, I took a rickshaw to the hospital for injections or did not recognize the way... Surprisingly stupid in dealing with people.

In addition, she has a lot of special little fun.

She likes the slight musty smell of fog, the dust wet by rain, the smell of gasoline, green onion and garlic, the smell of milk, the smell of paint, the smell of stale oil, etc., which is indeed a bit strange.

For writers and artists, they often focus on the meaning of things rather than the result, on emotional experience rather than operating procedures.

They pursue the taste and value of life, rather than the actual acquisition and needs of life.

They are visionaries and seekers of ideal real life, indifferentians and imbeciles of actual real life.

They behave perversely, behave out of character, and think abnormally because they indulge in the ideal poetic life that should be like this.

As Freud said, poets, writers, and artists are often separated from crazy eccentrics.

Eileen Chang| I have nothing but the dream of a genius – all is just the obedience of a genius

Many critics and literature lovers often misunderstand this point.

They regard writers as perfect and well-versed, who know astronomy and geography from above, and are familiar with all kinds of life in the world. Actually, there has never been such a writer.

The writer is not the owner of the highest diploma, not a test of high intelligence, not a superman of all things, not a carrier of special functions, not a performer of special functions.

They have shortcomings or limitations that are common or absent to mortals, and they are often surprising in many aspects of everyday matters.

Only in this they differ from other people and madmen - they are the full seekers of the value of human existence, they are special attention to the state of human life and the process of human development, they are the specialized manifestations of human love consciousness. What they have is individuals with distinct personalities and entire human beings!

They have a microscope in their eyes that others can't see, a magnifying glass that no one else can't see. Their hearts have always been the vortex and harbor of human desire. Their minds will always be the treasure and battlefield of human wits and courage.

What they experience, think and observe, and express is condensed, and writing is not a skilled profession for them, but a way of survival, a leakage of internal drive; Their works are not just a weaving of skills, but a symbol of passion and impulse, a reflection of human conflict.

Only by following this line of thought can we understand Eileen Zhang's strangeness and talent. Reading and writing have become the main excitement and internal drive of her life since she was a child, and she is naturally a little strange.

Although she has tried different themes and genres, what she focused on and expressed at the beginning was people's inner world and erotic conflict.

There is a woman's conspiracy against a woman in the dispute between aunts and sisters-in-law, a sigh of beautiful destruction in the suicide of a beautiful woman, a strong force of androcentrism in the dialogue between wives and concubines, a fear of the old man of time in the admiration of youth, a feeling of the meaning of the life of the poor in the loneliness of a peasant woman, and a reflection on the value of women's life in the overlord Farewell Ji...

This is what Eileen Zhang has done well, and what is precious. Which god gave her special talent, keen heart, precocious wisdom?

Eileen Chang| I have nothing but the dream of a genius – all is just the obedience of a genius

In addition to talent, there are also memories of her childhood.

"Childhood memories" are of considerable importance to adults, especially writers, as a consensus among critics and psychologists.

Childhood is the cradle of a writer's life, the starting point of observation, the initial source of inspiration, and the soil of genius. It embodies the original way of life and values, with subtle perspectives and creative unconscious.

People who were born in a rich family, grew up in a rich family, died in a rich family, and lived a rich life are mostly unproductive, they do not know sorrow, so they cannot be sober and unable to rise.

People who are born, grow up in poverty, die in poverty, and live in poverty all their lives have rarely done anything, and they have worked for the minimum material life all their lives, and it is impossible to make great contributions to society. Because being too poor will limit the horizon and be difficult to surpass.

Only those generations that are also changing their personal circumstances with the big times are more likely to succeed.

They know the helplessness and excitement of their previous life, and they feel more deeply their current helplessness and the excitement of the outside world, so they work hard. The modern Chinese literary scene provides countless examples of this.

A generation of talented daughter Zhang Ailing, in her childhood, she was not the little angel of the Zhang Mansion shrouded in a golden halo, not a little princess in the pure love of mother's love, not a little baby boasted by her neighbors, not a little elf that the teacher was proud of, she was a famous lady without father's love and a rich lady with little maternal love.

If poverty makes people curse an unjust world because of the suffering of flesh and skin, then lovelessness makes people feel the loneliness of life and the distortion of emotions.

Poverty can only bring bitterness, while abundance can bring loneliness. The cold family made her have an endless family complex, and the superior family situation made her have superior sentimentality. There was always a huge gap in her soft heart.

The physical and mental damage is a permanent blow for ordinary people.

For sensitive and amorous literary artists, it is fermented yeast, the return of the soul, and the treasure mine of nuggets.

Just as a pawnshop pharmacy is to the young Lu Xun, a massacre of blood is to Barkin in Paris, loneliness is to Charlotte, debt is to Balzac... Eileen Zhang's childhood experience has caused her to lose her child-like golden vision of understanding the world. Her childlike world is not pure and beautiful, but complex desolation.

Eileen Chang| I have nothing but the dream of a genius – all is just the obedience of a genius

Misfortune is the cradle of writers, and pain is the mother of wisdom.

Eileen Chang was born out of misfortune and pain. Her later works come directly or indirectly from childhood memories:

The expanse of the foreign and the foreign field, the widow in the mansion and mansion, the opium and opium-smoking wives, the old babies like antiques and antiques, the old furniture and the women who grow up with the aging of the furniture, the flirting on the dance hall and the dance floor, the encounters in the tram and the tram, all bear the mark of early life.

Prototypes of some of the characters in the work can also be found in the living environment of her family. The sick Nie Chuanqing in "Jasmine Film" is not the shadow of her cowardly and incompetent brother wandering?

Aren't the delicate metaphors and rich imagery in the work a record of her free reverie without falling asleep in that sleepy bungalow? That recurring and implicit image of the moon perhaps because she often shared solitude with the moon at night as a child?

What do you think of the little fun of the talented girl Zhang Ailing of the Republic of China? Welcome to leave your footprints.

Follow me @Qingfeng History Pavilion, I will tell you the historical story.

Eileen Chang| I have nothing but the dream of a genius – all is just the obedience of a genius

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