Text/End Of Little North
When interacting with people, many things can be said, many things cannot be said, if you can't hold your mouth, you can say anything, and in the end, the only thing that hurts is yourself.
More seriously, it may also cause disgust to others.
Mr. Lu Xun's "Xianglin Sister-in-law" must be known to many people, she is a person who does not know what to say and what not to say.
Everyone said how miserable she was, and everyone said how bitter she was, and although some people sympathized at first, with her non-stop "nagging", others slowly abandoned her.
At all times, you must know that your affairs are your affairs, have nothing to do with others, and if you forcibly tell your own things to others, it will be of no benefit and will cause unnecessary trouble.
If you share your luck with others, the other party will not only not bless but also be jealous, if you share your pain with others, the other party will not only not comfort but also laugh.
If so, why embarrass yourself? Instead of talking around, keep the secret.
In addition to keeping secrets, do not tell individuals about the glory of the past, because people cannot live in the past, and if you do not listen, not only will you not get the comfort of others, but you will also make yourself more miserable.
There is also the need not to overly comment on other people's lives, and not to talk too much about other people's lives.
He Mercyhong in "Ode to Joy 3" is also a person who does not know what to say and what not to say, she seems to have a high degree, and she also prides herself on being particularly positive in the three views, but she never knows to consider problems from the perspective of others.
Every time someone else on the 22nd floor encountered something, she could poke at people's pain points with a word, which seemed very bold, but it was actually not pleasing.
Because, some words are inappropriate is inappropriate, and if you say them, you will only hurt people, not help people.
After half a lifetime, people who finally understand that true wisdom knows what to say and what not to say.
01: Your own secret, don't go around saying it
People living in this world have their own secrets, and since they are secrets, they cannot be taken out and shared with others.
If you have to share it with others, in general, there will be no good results.
Knowing how to bury secrets in your heart is actually the greatest protection for yourself.
After reading such a fable, I felt very deeply:
When he was cutting the king's hair, the barber found that the king had a pair of donkey ears, and after seeing these donkey ears, he was shocked, and the haircut hand could not help but begin to tremble.
The king noticed his anomaly and said:
"I think you've seen it all, but I want you to keep it a secret, and if someone else finds out one day, I won't spare you."
Because of this matter, the hairdresser was particularly uncomfortable, he knew that he could not say it, but he really couldn't hold back, he tried to keep this secret, and also took it as his own secret, but the more he kept it, the more uncomfortable it became.
In the end, he couldn't stand it and told the person he trusted the most.
After saying that, he told him not to say it, otherwise he would lose his life, and although the other party agreed, he still said it.
The news that the king had a pair of donkey ears went away, and when the news reached the king's ears, the king was furious and soon arrested the barber and hung his head on the city gate.
If the barber could keep the secret and insist on not saying it, there might not be a problem, but he wouldn't listen.
Because this secret is not the king's secret, but his own secret, and when he says it, it means the disaster of killing himself, and no one can save him.
At any time, you must know that your secrets cannot be easily said to the outside world, because you cannot be sure what kind of consequences will be brought to yourself by saying them, and it is likely to be fatal.
The Arabs have this proverb:
"When keeping a secret, the secret is a loyal servant; When secrets are revealed, the secrets are the culprits. ”
In fact, it is true that keeping one's own secrets is actually to prevent people.
As the saying goes, the heart of harming people must not be there, and the heart of preventing people must not be without, which is the truth.
Born as a human being, I hope that everyone will not casually tell their secrets, and do not easily leave excuses for people, which is equivalent to leaving a way back for themselves.
In the final analysis, if a person keeps his mouth, he is actually holding his own boundaries, which will make his life situation more secure.
02: Your own glory, don't show it everywhere
As the saying goes, a good man does not mention the courage of the year.
Even if you were great before, but now is not the past, if you just mention the past, you can only prove that you are more incompetent.
We can't mention the past achievements, because the past is over and can't be repeated.
If you always mention it, it only proves that you are living very badly, and when you mention it to others, you think that you will get the admiration of others, but in fact you will only get ridiculed by others.
You think they're really kidding you as a friend, they're actually waiting to see your jokes, that's human nature.
This point is deeply understood by friend Su Wen.
Because she caught up with the outlet of the self-media, Su Wen made some money, she thought that this outlet would last for a long time, but she did not expect that it was particularly short and ended quickly.
When the wind outlet comes, it is indeed easy to make money, but after the wind outlet is over, it is difficult to make money.
Talking about this matter with friends, Su Wen mentioned his previous achievements, saying that he used to write a manuscript, which could be thousands or even thousands of pieces, but now hundreds of them can't be sold, which is really uncomfortable.
She had thought that after she finished speaking, her friend would comfort herself and tell her that everything would be fine, but she did not expect that after saying it, her friend said:
"You're lucky enough to have at least a little soup, not like we gave so much and didn't get anything."
Hearing her friend say this, Su Wen understood, and she stopped talking.
Because she knows that talking now is obvious in the eyes of her friends, and she can't even be friends with each other.
From this moment, Su Wen also knew that he could not mention the past achievements, first, he could not be comforted, and second, he also caused the illusion of showing off to others.
In fact, this is really the case, if a person always lives in the past achievements, there will be no big difference, after all, the days are forward, people have to look forward, so that the days are more running.
A truly intelligent person will not be complacent in the glory of the past, because he knows that even if the past is good, it will eventually pass.
They will forget the past glory as soon as possible and realize their value again.
For example, The Nobel prize winner mo yan, after his award, said that he should forget the award as soon as possible and not lose himself in smugness.
I saw a sentence on the Internet and thought it was deeply true:
"Whether it is success or failure in the past, don't always hang on your lips, turn this page, life can usher in a new chapter." 」
In simple terms, the past is over after all, there is no point in holding on to it, instead of lying on the credits of the past and sleeping, choosing instinctive self-escape, it is better to stand up and chase the unfinished dream again.
Always know:
Really powerful people will not live in the past, they know that no matter how good yesterday is, it has become the past, and living a good future is the most important.
03: Other people's experiences, don't comment on them
He MercyHong in "Ode to Joy 3" is really a character that people can't like, her unconsciousness, her lack of ability, and her presumptuous comments make people really can't stand it.
The other two girls in the same rented room have their own hard-working past, and she comments with her own idea of "flowers in the greenhouse".
Yu Chuhui's mother, living in her hometown is better than death, let others bully the day, Yu Chuhui wants to rescue her mother from the fire pit, and then put her mother in Shanghai.
If you have experienced the pain of the original family, everyone will understand Yu Chuhui's approach, but He Mercy Hong feels that she has done too much.
She felt that she had interfered in her parents' marriage, and felt that she was also using her own mother to squeeze her mother.
If you are careful enough, in the later plot, when Yu Chuhui's mother was a nanny at Professor Tao's house, when Yu Chuhui told her mother's experience, she got Professor Tao's pity for her and praised her for her understanding.
This is a very sharp contrast, even after He Mercy Hong broke into trouble, her mother said that she was nosy, she said that she was not good, and she had to comment on other people's past.
There was also the matter of Zhu Zhe and her predecessor, when Zhu Zhe told He Mercyhong that there might be an internal traitor in Yu Feixue's debt collection team, she asked her to quickly convey it, but He Mercyhong made up his own mind and did not say.
After the matter had serious consequences, she stood up and said, "I don't want to." ”
Who wants to? If it weren't for He Mercyhong's own initiative to mix this matter, it was estimated that there would be a lot less trouble, but she went to find Yu Feixue on her own initiative.
Yu Chuhui described He Huihong as a rookie, in fact, I want to say that she is not just a rookie, but a brainless.
If she knew what to say and what not to say, it was estimated that she would save a lot of trouble and not be so much troublesome. Isn't it?
The rest of our lives are not long, may each of us do these three things when interacting with people:
Try not to talk about your own secrets, don't mention past achievements, and don't comment on other people's things and experiences.
If you can do it, how can life be unhappy?
About the Author:
Su Xiaobei, a young emotional writer and marriage counselor, focuses on marriage recovery and intimate relationship repair.