Author: Meet Xiaoyuan (Columnist of Fushu)
Mandela once said: "The greatest glory of life is not that it never falls, but that it always rises again after falling." ”
When we feel tired, learn to rest instead of giving up.
If we compare everyone to a spring, then all the people and things we encounter will become the source of force on the spring, affecting the degree of "deformation" of a person.
The gap between people does not lie in the level of ability, but in the calmness of the heart.
Truly powerful people have long regarded the suffering of life as a gift and cultivated their inner resilience.
The lower the level of cognition, the more stubborn the person is
The philosopher Schopenhauer said: "The largest prison in the world is the consciousness of the human mind. ”
When a person is stubborn and does not know how to be flexible, then this shallowness of cognition will also push you into the abyss step by step.
There is such a story in the book Don't Think About Your Life in Other People's Minds.
The author's friend returned home from Sydney and a male friend asked her if Sydney was the capital of Australia.
The friend said: "No, the capital of Australia is Canberra. ”
Male friends defended this: "In China, everyone thinks so. ”
A friend asked why, and the male friend said firmly:
"I think that's what it should be anyway."
Friends tried to explain to the boy that Australia's capital was Canberra, but the other party always stubbornly believed that it should be Sydney.
In this way, their chat broke up unhappily.
The lower a person's cognitive level, the more single-minded and inelastic it is, and the more stubborn it will be.
American psychologist George Kelly once proposed a "personal constructory" view.
When encountering a similar scenario, a person will use their previous experience to make a judgment about the problem or scenario.
As everyone knows, not cocooning oneself, nor conforming to the old ways, is the characteristic of looking at things.
Increase the resilience of your heart, and the road of life will become wider and wider.
Chekhov wrote a novel, "The Death of a Little Civil Servant", which made people feel very deeply.
The little civil servant in the story accidentally sprays a spit star on a person in the front row while watching the play.
When he found out that the other party was a high-ranking official, his heart was extremely afraid.
First he apologized, and then he went to visit the high-ranking official's home and ask for forgiveness.
In fact, the senior officials did not take this matter to heart, but the clerk repeatedly apologized, and the senior official could not stand it and angrily asked the clerk to "get out" from his home.
The little civil servant walked home in frustration and ended up lying in bed and dying.
The more sensitive and fragile the heart, the narrower the road of life will be.
Really powerful people have long realized that being opinionated is not an advantage.
Instead, use inner elasticity to adapt to the variables of life.
In this way, the wider world can be recognized.
Being flexible can be resilient in doing things
Someone on zhihu asked: "What are the common characteristics of people who can break through from the bottom?" ”
Gao Zan replied: "I have elasticity in my heart, I can withstand loneliness when I am low, and I can stay awake when I am wonderful." ”
Treat life with a relaxed attitude, and everything will be satisfactory.
This reminds me of the story of florence, a famous swimmer.
In the 1950s, her challenge of traveling from Catarina Island to the coast of California attracted worldwide attention.
After 15 hours, Florence gradually lost her strength, and with the thick fog on the sea surface, her vision began to blur, so she chose to give up under psychological pressure.
Despite repeated encouragement from her mother and coach, Florence did not complete the challenge.
In the decades that followed, she mentioned that she regretted it because she still had half a mile to swim ashore.
The success of some things does not depend entirely on their own ability, but more on psychological resilience.
Truly powerful people do not cling to fixed ideas, but cultivate a flexible heart and examine the ever-changing life.
There is a saying: "Life is the same everywhere, what is different is how you live." ”
After half a life, I have experienced a variety of life forms, and I have also tasted the suffering of the world.
Only by learning to be light on the past can we have the confidence to control the future.
Whether it is to be a person or to do things, cultivating your own inner resilience is the best state in the face of the world.
On the stage of the third season of "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves", Queen Aya's temperament made everyone re-acquaint herself.
Many years ago, Aya was also a person with a very low sense of existence.
When she first debuted, she became popular with a "File Ice March", but in the time since, she has been a foil for others.
Also the host, Xiao S can hold the whole scene with his "straight-talking" hosting style, but Aya needs to rely on playing ugly and funny to win the opportunity and gain everyone's recognition.
However, she did not complain about this, but took every doubt and disapproval as an opportunity to rebound from the trough.
From "gas bag" to "strong woman", she took nearly 10 years.
Cai Kangyong said of Aya:
"I believe that Aya's open-mindedness and resilience to life are definitely not comparable to those dolls that break when they are touched."
Indeed, every way of living is worthy of respect, but a resilient life is more powerful.
As Aya said, "If you're actually unhappy yourself, and then you insist that others be happy, I think that's a burden on others and yourself." ”
The stronger the person, the more comfortable they are in coping with uncertain situations.
Being flexible and doing things with resilience is the most basic quality of adults.
Really powerful people have elasticity inside
There is a state called "psychological resilience", which refers to the state of psychological and behavioral response to changes in the surrounding environment.
This state is dynamically changing, and in the process of change, it achieves dynamic regulation and adaptation to the environment.
It can be seen that the best way to cultivate inner resilience is to overcome negative emotions and pressures when encountering problems, and to devote yourself to the present.
Just like Zhou Ying in the TV series "That Year the Flowers Bloomed and the Moon Was Round", although life has ups and downs, her inner elasticity has made her a winner in life.
At first, Zhou Ying was just a street who relied on pits and abductions to deceive and live a chaotic life, even if she inadvertently became the young grandmother of the Wu family, but after marriage, the jianghu atmosphere on her body never faded.
Every day I think about how to go back to the past and live a free life.
But when she first felt the magnitude of the "world," she overthrew her ignorant thoughts.
She began to learn to do business, so that later the Wu family fell, or she tried her best to rotate in the business field, selling cotton and weaving native cloth.
The hardships in the process were all the way through her gritted teeth.
I made my first money in the cotton business, but I almost planted a pit on the soil cloth; It was difficult to open up dihua sales channels, but after rejecting Turdan, it lost the dihua business; Smashing pots and selling iron investment machine weaving layouts, but being destroyed by ignorant weavers.
Such a life ups and downs are all strategized in Zhou Ying's flexible way of handling, turning danger into disaster again and again, and turning danger into safety.
How many people in life can do this?
We tend to be stuck in two situations: one is confused when it is low, and the other is when it is wonderful.
Don't be sad about a momentary predicament, and don't be complacent about a short-lived achievement.
Accepting the best and bearing the worst is the most flexible way to live.
Lin Hui, a talented woman in the Republic of China, suffered a war in her early years, and she and her husband fled to the southwest with her family.
At that time, life was difficult, the house was simple, there was no electricity and no water.
During this turbulent displacement, she also nearly lost her life due to pneumonia.
But she still faces life with an optimistic attitude:
In the shimmer of a rapeseed oil lamp, sew your child's cloth shoes and buy cheap coarse food to cook at home.
In a letter to a friend, she wrote:
"The sun here is always unusually bright, the sky is blue day and night, and the clouds are floating freely."
A firework in the world, life is not hard to resist.
If there is sunshine in the heart, there will be sunshine in life.
Yataro Matsuura once said: "The so-called dilemma of life is just a shackle that you think wildly and set yourself up. ”
Do not disturb the past, do not worry about the future, flexible to live well in the present, the most rare.
Heavy snow presses the pine, and the pine is still straight, because the pine branches are elastic and can adjust the posture within the range of weight.
The boiled egg is not easy to be broken, and the egg is boiled with elastic force to reduce the collision and avoid breaking.
All his life, people have been pursuing excellence, but they have forgotten how to cultivate their hearts.
Sanmao said: "Being a resilient person is the goal we pursue all our lives." ”
If others can't give you, create your own.
The more resilient the heart, the more exciting life will be.
Truly powerful people can accept both the best and the worst.
Light up [praise], may you live a flexible life for the rest of your life, live your own light, and have poetry and distance.
Author Profile: Meet Xiaoyuan, single-handed, write a thousand mountains, Rich Book columnist, Rich Little Book people, this article: Rich Little Book, the best girlfriend around you, Rich Book 2018 launched a new book "Good Life"
Note: The picture source of this article is online, if there is infringement, please contact to delete