Author: Like water flow year
As the old saying goes: A gentleman is sensitive to words and sensitive to deeds, sensitive to things and cautious in words.
There is a way that more words will be lost, and disasters will come out of the mouth, and if there are more words, problems may arise; If there are too many things to manage, there may be hidden dangers.
The sword blade comes out of the grinding, the plum blossom fragrance comes from the bitter cold, and as we grow older, we have already tasted all kinds of things in the world and penetrated the world.
Thus gradually quitting arrogance and temper tightening; Pay attention to everything and start to seek stability in dealing with people. If you want to live the second half of your life, it is nothing more than a "less" word, less management, less talking, less worry.
In idle time, I don't care about other people's wrongs, and I often meditate on myself. So after the age of 50, we must learn to shut up at the right time, do not talk about these four things, and the second half of life will be smooth.
Do not demand the property of your children
There is a saying in the "Chronicle of the Appearance of Officialdom": Man dies for money, and birds die for food.
Everyone wants to be rich in money and live the good life they want, but it is only with their own ability that they match their ambitions.
If you pin your hopes on others, it is also a kind of blasphemy against human nature and a kind of depreciation of yourself, including your own parents.
As we all know, Zhang Shaohan's mother, Jiang Rouyi, was originally an intellectual literary and artistic young woman, since the price of Taiwanese businessman Zhang Zhihong, she gave birth to two girls, a son of her, the family life is also happy and happy.
Only because the couple was too ambitious, at first they ran some business in Taiwan, but it turned out to be a door and a finch, and there was no improvement; Without hitting the south wall and not turning back, they immigrated to Singapore, and later to Canada, and finally poured out their family property but found nothing.
During this period, five-year-old Zhang Shaohan began to work as a dishwasher for his mother's hotel and earn some pocket money; When his parents were busy, he also took care of younger siblings who were younger than himself.
As a teenager, Zhang Shaohan has sold milk tea, worked as a waiter, and even worked as a car washer, doing jobs that did not match his age. At this time, she was 1.60 meters tall and weighed only 39 kilograms.
The leak in the house coincided with overnight rain, due to the father's congenital heart attack, it also became the last straw that crushed the camel, and the infamous parents pinned all their hopes for the realization of glory and wealth on zhang Shaohan, who had just become famous.
Zhang Shaohan, who became popular, brought his parents a really glorious and rich life, but at this time, they did not know how to cherish, but they wanted to smoke their hearts and only want to make profits:
In order to find excitement, the mother Jiang Rouyi dislikes the decadent Zhang Zhihong and is with Zhang Haozhe;
In order to get more money, in order to raise more wool on her daughter, the mother naturally became Zhang Shaohan's agent;
During the period when the daughter was seriously ill, the parents not only did not take care of it, but also took the opportunity to sweep the bank card for 100 million Taiwan dollars, not only that, but also disclosed the face of the daughter who had become haggard due to illness, spread rumors, and ridiculed it as a drug use;
In order to raise more wool, the parents and uncle kidnapped with affection, and in the name of their daughter's filial piety, they sprinkled salt on Zhang Shaohan's freshly healed wounds...
The lack of humanity, the loss of morality, made the parents who gave birth to her and raised her into demonic beings, and could devour her life at any time.
Therefore, there are two things in this world that are the most difficult to fill: one is the sea, the other is desire, and the reason why many people live very tired is because they mistakenly regard desire as a need.
They never feel like they're getting enough, and they always feel like they're missing everything.
When a pair of parents replace their conscience with desire and ruthlessly overdraft their children's affection, they will not be far from the bleakness of the evening scene.
Second, it is not appropriate for the public to expose the shortcomings of others
There is a cloud in the "Book of Fu Lei's Family": Reason should not be strong, and reason should also spare people.
In interpersonal communication, nine times out of ten, "want to talk and stop" will be happy in the future; And the vast majority of "open hearts" will regret it afterwards.
Remember the plot of "Prime Minister Liu Luoguo" 20 years ago?
Qianlong, as emperor taishang, and Liu Yong, the retired prime minister, bathed together, and the two expelled the slave maids and other outsiders, and agreed to treat each other equally by giving up worldly dignity and inferiority.
Taking this opportunity, Liu Yong not only directly called the Qianlong Emperor by his name of "Hongli", but also talked about the merits and demerits of the Qianlong Emperor's life, pointing out that the mistakes were merciless.
The Qianlong Emperor and Liu Yong discussed the promise of "treating each other equally", so in the face of the outspoken Liu Yong, he was angry, but he was embarrassed to be angry.
In the heart of the Qianlong Emperor, for the sake of his own Jiangshan Sheji, the prime minister Liu Luoguo was a person who used, straightened, and could not be killed;
As a Zhongtang Hekun, along with Liu Yong's official position, although his power was tilted toward the opposition and he was greedy for countless amounts of money, he often said what the Qianlong Emperor wanted to hear and did what the Qianlong Emperor wanted to do, so he was deeply loved by the emperor.
Judging from the whole plot, if the prime minister does not have the ability to do things steadily and has a flexible mind, just by virtue of his "straightforward" personality, if he is unfortunate enough to meet a dimwitted monarch, he will also be in danger and walk on thin ice.
There is an old saying: good medicine is good for the disease, and good advice is good for the ear.
Although the ideal is very beautiful, the reality is very bone- and it is also sad to see that throughout the ages, some loyal and good people have been imprisoned or killed because they have disregarded their own safety and advice.
Therefore, there is an ancestral precept that there are fewer than a thousand cups of wine per confidant, and the words are not speculative for more than half a sentence.
Of course, we should not throw in the right and wrong issues, say what others want to hear, so as to miss the big thing; Instead, giving others a thumbs up on small things that don't concern you is the wisdom of dealing with the world.
Feng Zikai has a good summary:
"Take the right path, let go of the heartless hand, make friends with the way, break the friends of the unrighteous, drink the tea of purity, abstain from the wine of flowers, open the door of convenience, and close the mouth of right and wrong."
As long as the tongue is controlled, the door of the heart can be controlled; Know how to shut up at the right time, and good luck will always accompany you. Therefore, if you don't want to live a desolate evening, you must manage yourself and close your leisurely mouth.
Don't discuss and condemn others at will
There is such a sentence on the Internet: No matter what the relationship is, don't forget to grasp the measure in your heart, and don't disturb the three rivers and four seasons of others.
Life is short, if you spend time managing other people's private affairs, not only will it not fall well, but you will also provoke yourself to be unhappy.
In the TV series "Search", Ye Lanqiu graduated from a famous school, worked in a large enterprise, and is a modern woman with a delicate appearance and high culture.
One day, Ye Lanqiu went to the hospital for a physical examination, accidentally learned that she was suffering from cancer, due to a great mental blow, came out of the hospital, she stumbled on the bus back to the company.
In a trance, she was immersed in the bad news she had just learned, and there was an old man who looked strong and strong next to her, but she did not notice her abnormality, and waited impatiently for her to give up her seat.
At that time, Ye Lanqiu did not notice the old man next to him, so he did not give up his seat in time, and when the old man saw the situation, he sneered at her, not only that, but even the bus conductor also scolded her for not having quality.
The conductor's roar made Ye Lanqiu, who was already desperate, a little sad, and she asked the other party: "What if I don't let it?" He also said with some gambling: "If you want to sit, sit on my lap!" ”
As soon as the old man heard that the hair had exploded, he said that Ye Lanqiu bullied him, so a car of crowds attacked him, which is not to mention, just a reporter took a video and posted it to the Internet, so the news of "Ye Lanqiu not giving up the seat" continued to ferment.
It can really be said that she has encountered overnight rain in the house leak, and even colleagues who usually seem to be close at work have exposed her personal information.
When she asked the boss of the company to borrow money, she cried on the boss's shoulder with an emotional breakdown, and happened to be bumped into by the boss lady, and was identified as a person who coveted the boss's property and snatched love with a knife.
The lady boss returned home angrily, just in time to see the news that Ye Lanqiu did not give up her seat, and sent the nanny to call to expose Ye Lanqiu's lack of morality...
A series of shocks, coupled with the fear of the disease, she finally chose to end her life.
A sentence can save a person, and at the same time a sentence can kill a person.
Therefore, do not go through the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be good, and when you do not understand the facts and circumstances, you must not easily draw conclusions.
Remember Xiao Shenyang once said that kindness is actually very simple:
"Seeing that someone else's wall is going to fall, if you can't help it, it is also a kind of kindness not to push;
Seeing people eating porridge, you are eating meat, then it is also a kind of kindness to spit on it
Seeing people weep with sadness and tears, if you don't want to comfort them, then misfortune and happiness are also a kind of kindness. ”
In our daily life, if someone tells her husband to cheat, the friend will not only not be grateful, but also blame you for ruining her marriage because of your mouth;
If you tell your colleague that there's something wrong with the way it works, he'll blame you for potentially asking your boss for credit while appearing in front of him;
Some people accuse others of not treating the elderly kindly, but they do not know that the old people are unreasonable to make trouble first, and still morally kidnap them to ask them to be filial to the elderly, so that others are in a dilemma...
Therefore, "everyone sweeps the snow in front of the door" is not necessarily indifferent, and may be the best measure for others and themselves.
The relationship between people is the most difficult to handle, so properly grasping one's own size in words and actions is also a person's best cultivation.