Hello Qianqian, 1004 readers Hello, my name is Xinxin, 34 years old this year, is currently a housewife, but in fact, this profession is not my pursuit, five years ago, I was a sales executive in a foreign trade company, when I felt that life was full of light and full of hope, but now, I am at home, every day unkempt, depressed.
All this has to start with my stubborn birth to the son who suffered from "Down syndrome" without listening to advice...
I am a native of Gansu, born in a salary family, I am the second oldest, and I have an older sister who is four years older than me. My parents are very honest people, never argue with people in everything, with the concept of "suffering loss is a blessing" life concept for a lifetime, my sister is also deeply inherited by them, but I am different, the motto since childhood is to fight, their own fate is their own decision.
After graduating from high school, I did not go to college, but I had to go to a junior college. At that time, I had a roommate who was very rich at home, and it was no exaggeration to say that her one pair of shoes would cover my monthly living expenses. Watching her dress up every day, I made up my mind that I would make a lot of money in the future! Before I graduated, I worked part-time outside of school, selling clothes in clothing stores, perhaps accumulating a lot of experience, and after graduating from school, I joined a wedding company as a salesman.
My leaders once said that I was born with a talent for dealing with people and selling. It took me five years to go from regular salesman, to sales champion, to sales team leader, to sales supervisor. When I was twenty-six years old, I bought a house for my parents in my hometown and the first car in my life, when my family was proud of me, and everyone around me, including myself, believed that I would have a bright future.
At the age of twenty-seven, I met my husband, who was a fellow traveler. At the age of twenty-eight, we had a wedding, and less than half a year after the marriage, I became pregnant. My husband and I are very child-loving personalities, so we have unlimited expectations for this child, from clothes and shoes to cots and room decorations, we all prepared them early and carefully.
In the early stages of pregnancy, in addition to the amount of food was a little large, my body did not have any abnormalities, no nausea, no morning sickness, and even worked overtime every day to completely eat, I remember joking with friends at that time, saying that my baby knew how to fight with my mother in the stomach.
At four months, the results of NT showed that it was also good, so I went directly to Tang Siwei, and the results came out that an index was hundreds of times higher than the normal indicator. At that time, I was alone in the hospital, sitting on a stool in the corridor for a long time, my hands were shaking when I called my husband, I kept telling myself to be calm, my husband took me to the doctor for consultation after he arrived, the doctor comforted us at that time, saying that this was just a calculated probability, not 100% sure, and then she asked me to continue to do the examination.
In fact, there were two options at that time, to do non-invasive or amniocentesis. My husband and I discussed this matter for a long time, and my husband advocated doing amniocentesis because the results were more accurate, but I wanted to do non-invasive, because non-invasive is safer. What if, if the child is healthy, amniocentesis hurts the baby?
But in the end, I listened to the doctor's advice and did an amniocentesis. It took about half a month from the end of the day to the result, and I was really more anxious than ever before, including dreaming at night that I had given birth to an unhealthy child. After half a month of worrying, but still afraid of what came, the final result showed that trisomy 21 was found in the split, confirming Down syndrome.
At that time, I was completely confused, and it was not an exaggeration to say that it was a thunderbolt on a sunny day. I asked myself over and over again, I'm still so young, why am I? Why would a child be a Down? I don't usually smoke, and I quit drinking, why is this still the case? I don't know how to get home, the whole person is in a trance, the tears are not stopping, my husband is not much better than me, although he kept comforting me, but I looked up and found that his eyes were red and covered with blood.
The doctor's advice to me was to induce labor, and after the whole family knew, they first grieve, and then they all advised me to give up, and my husband also said that we did not want this child. But it was me who was pregnant, he was in my stomach for six months, and sometimes I could clearly feel him moving in it, and I couldn't make up my mind when I thought about it. In short, I tried my best to overcome the public opinion and made a bold and resolute decision: to give birth to him.
Maybe there are a lot of people here who want to scold me, but I believe that anyone who has been a mother can understand my feelings, he is the meat that I gave birth to, how can I say no, I don't want it. During that time, almost no one in the family supported me, everyone was advising me to have a fetus, but there was a fixed number in the dark, the more I wanted to induce labor, the more determined I was to leave his heart, I believed in my baby, maybe in the future he will give me a miracle.
On July 5, 2018, I gave birth to a boy, 4 pounds and 4 pairs. At the first sight of him, I really almost thought that a miracle had happened, and you may not know that in the first few months of birth, the Down baby was basically indistinguishable from other children, but as he grew bigger and bigger, some symptoms began to appear: there was a gap between his appearance and height and that of children of the same age, although he was five years old, he would only say that his parents, walking and bumping, would pull the stool on his body, and his physique was also very poor...
Sometimes looking at him who is about to be hospitalized with a fever due to a small cold, I have also thought countless times, is it really right that I chose to bring him to this world? However, it is worth being happy that our family and relatives and friends around us have not abandoned him, just like every family with children, we buy him toys, take him out for a walk, although every time will usher in the surprise of others, but after a few years, we have become accustomed to it.
When the baby was one year old, I quit my job and took care of him at home, he needed to be supervised, bathed, dressed and even ate, and I had to assist, this kind of life is actually quite torturous, because I have no personal time at all, everything revolves around him. Now that he's old enough to know how to wreak havoc, and you hurt him or make him unhappy, he'll yell and cry. I knew I shouldn't have seen him in general, and he couldn't control his behavior, but seeing him spill water on the bed and the bowl smashing to the ground, I would still get angry and get annoyed when I looked at him.
Maybe because I no longer work, my husband and I have less common topics, and I can only talk to him about the children, but I can't help him at work. At present, the money is handed over to him, but me and the baby are very frugal, and I believe that our lives will only get better and better. I have the idea of having a second child, one is for my husband's family to pass on, the other is to find a companion for the baby, but my husband has not agreed, I think it may be that he is worried that I will be too tired.
In two years, when the children are older, I plan to hand over to the four elderly people to help carry them, and then return to the workplace, and then even if the head is broken, I will rush forward, after all, my husband and I are ordinary families, and we must save more money before retiring or one party must resign. The only thing I worry about now is that in the future, when we both leave, we must save enough money and find a place for the elderly to spend the rest of his life.
Finally, I would like to say that words have a great destructive power, I hope that people can take it as a warning, think twice before speaking, especially medical workers should be more cautious, every Down baby should be treated gently by the world.