Wen/Lan Mama on parenting
Ancient saying: "Through the history of the former virtuous country and home, it has become a traditional virtue of a family and even a country", diligence and frugality have always been the traditional virtues of a family, even a country, for those who know how to plan and save, money is flat, can be piled together and form a mountain like a rich country, who can live a forward life plan of thrift and clothing, who can easily resist difficulties and tide over difficulties when they are poor.
Luxury destroys a person's soul, and the more you enjoy, the more you greed
Friend has an 8-year-old daughter, named Sixi, because it is the first grandchild in the family, from childhood are two big families around together, like the toys, want to eat snacks, including which children want to play with, around the grandparents, grandparents can arrange things no matter how big, it is this kind of clothing to reach out, food to open the mouth of life, so that Sixi developed a luxurious and wasteful wrong growth atmosphere.
At home, the children's room of the muppet toys are piled up into a mountain, in the dazzling of the sentient beings, probably Sissi himself does not know what to like, or should play with which toys, when he was a child, Sissi especially liked Ultraman toys, his mother thought that "girls should be princesses, play boys like Ultraman, slowly will become greedy little boy personality", so there are always all kinds of Barbie dolls in the home.
In the mall, since Sisi became addicted to Barbie dolls, every time he went to the mall, he had to take his favorite Barbie doll home, even if a doll was exactly the same as the one abandoned in the corner of the home, as long as he "wanted" he never listened to the words of oil and salt, if he did not buy it, he immediately threw up and rolled, considering the strange eyes of the people around him, it was generally easy to satisfy, but as the family had more and more Barbie dolls, gradually Sissi liked the new and tired, and the signs of extravagance and waste gradually became obvious.
In school, Sissi was particularly anxious when she first started kindergarten, every day to bring a favorite Barbie doll to the kindergarten, in order to avoid causing competition between classmates, school is forbidden to carry irrelevant items, and Sissi secretly hides in clothes or pants pockets every time, lucky when she escapes the inspection, unfortunately is found to be taken home by parents, to the primary school Sissi's mind is not in learning, every day there are many kinds of doll toys in the bag.
Once, when a friend went to pick up Sixy, he heard a classmate say" West West you really have money, you can bring so many toys to school every day", seeing the envy of your classmates at the same time, the afterglow swept to Sixi's body, the friend obviously felt that Sixi's smile was filled with the satisfaction of showing off, with extravagance, and the unhealthy wind of showing off, the relationship between Sixi and his classmates was gradually changing, and many classmates did not like to stand with Sissi who loved to show off, especially for those children who had never had it.
When eating, after realizing that the wind of extravagance and showing off is not conducive to healthy growth, friends began to "rectify" Sisi's wrong life direction, never constrained to sudden constraints, it is obvious that this is a family picture that is easy to jump, it is said that "good tutoring starts from the dining table", thrift and thrift also need to start from the details of the table, at first popularizing thrift and thrift when Sisi protested, half-hearted when eating, this does not want to eat, that does not want to eat, but soon after putting away the dishes and chopsticks, it is called hungry, That is, start snacking dry rice.
In order to better help Sisi develop good table habits, friends began to strictly control the child's snacking situation, with strict tutoring customs, Sisi's eating habits are slowly getting better, eating or food waste are developing in a good direction, but there is a situation that makes friends puzzled, that is, Ming Xixi eats seriously every day, and I don't know why I am hungry shortly after eating.
Always "not enough to eat" situation, at the beginning I thought it was the physiological needs of the body, until that day, friends prepared eggs, sweet potatoes, corn and freshly ground soy milk for Sisi's breakfast, considering that the heat is easy to attract mosquitoes, they put less than one-third of the garbage to be thrown away, due to the excessive force of wiping the table, the mobile phone accidentally fell into the garbage can, and the result was also accidentally smashed out of Sisi's "secret".
Seeing that the trash can was thrown away and the sweet potatoes were still hot, the friend also understood in an instant, it turned out that Sisi had eaten the food clean on the surface, but secretly threw them all away, saying that "luxury will destroy the purity of people's hearts", friends also understand that greed is like sucking worms, the more they get, the more greedy they are, and they always feel that they can't satisfy themselves, in order to let Sisi get lost, it is also sad that the old mother of his friends, making careful arrangements to slowly help Sisi develop a good growth atmosphere.
How to make the extravagant and wasteful children slowly thrifty and thrifty? Combined with Sissi's example, 3 major coping skills of friends are summarized:
First, read picture books and tell stories
For children, the truth is not as good as the true and sincere feelings, the big truth of bitter mouth is also easy to cause emotional disgust and rebellion, which is why many parents say "frugality", but children can not understand, or even create a lot of "small actions" to resist, in fact, the purpose of resistance is also the child is to adhere to their opinions, do not realize the meaning of saving is naturally to do what they want.
If you don't know how to let children listen to the truth, make changes, for children before primary school, reading picture books, telling stories is a good character benefit, picture books often hide big stories, picture books in the rich colors, interesting small stories, these are easy to outline the rich colors of children, children have wasteful behavior when they show them some picture books with the theme of thrift, in the process of reading or listening to children will gradually have spiritual resonance.
A long time ago, people had no food to eat, god pity the people, so let each leaf of wheat bear a wheat ear, a wheat plant can bear a dozen ears of wheat, people as long as they pay hard work can get the corresponding return, in order to be able to have enough food and clothing, people every day sunrise and sunset.
Later, as the days got better and better, everyone began to waste extravagantly, and when the weather was hot in the summer, people put the fine white and cold flour in the dustpan to let the naked children play inside, and the time could not be seen for a long time, so with a big hand, the ears of wheat on the straw began to be removed one by one.
Until only the last one on the top of the wheat was left, the dogs on the ground saw the situation and knelt down and cried bitterly, "God, the dogs have never wasted, they are picking up the owner's leftover steamed rice to eat, you open the grace, leave a dog life", God thought for a moment that it was also right, dogs have always cherished grain, if you don't leave them a way to live, it is indeed impossible to say, so they stopped the action of picking up the ears of wheat, so "leave a dog life" was born in this story...
This is a fable told to Sissi by a friend, rich in color, with a vivid image of the storyline, let the child read the big truth in the small story, just as "leave you a dog's life" was not originally a positive word, but let people understand that cherishing, knowing how to control desires, not excessive, not greedy for money and power is the real health, let the child feel the truth in the folk tale, understand the industriousness, and slowly make a healthy and physical and mental motherland flower in the true feeling!
Second, grow food feelings
The big truth of the small story of folk tales lies in the continuous pursuit of legend and truth, and the node that can really make children feel empathy is the perception of practical operation, the legend of folk tales has a certain attraction charm, as far as possible to let children match the core value of the story in practice, which is also a vivid and meaningful practical lesson that all parents need to popularize for their children.
Simply put, every cherished will is from the heart of the feeling, so that children in life, learning, through the cultivation of grain to feel the hard-won growth and labor of plants, under the guidance of the fable story, Sixi slowly has a certain understanding of cherishing and thriftiness, in order to hit the iron while the iron is hot to let Sissi fully understand the importance of diligence and thrift, friends summarized the garden as a planting base, so that Sissi planted wheat and vegetables in this small land.
As the crops grow and grow stronger day by day, from germination, weeding and pest control, to watering and fertilizing, every detail and protection is with a strong sense of expectation, and the practical experience brought by labor also makes Sisi gradually understand the truth of "grains are hard", especially the harvest season is full of joy, confidence and pride, several times when Sisi planted vegetables and wheat are harvested, she is beautifully picked and sent to teachers and best friends.
The difference between before and after the labor experiment also allowed Sisi's teachers to introduce classroom education, and during the labor class, they also took the children to the school to plant crops together, and Xixi, who had experience, was like a squad leader in planting, and everyone's admiring eyes and trust made Sisi feel unprecedented confidence and pride charm.
Any achievement is the need to step by step to slowly walk out of the experience, play the achievements, in the education of the road is also the same, no child's excellence is unearned, I hope that the child is excellent before the parents should also do a good job of leading by example, more to the child's experience of labor participation, under the guidance of parents, each parent-child interaction is more meaningful than the persuasion of bitter mouths.
Third, the culinary food experience
In the education of children to be industrious and frugal, some children may realize the importance of diligence and frugality, but the idea is in place at the same time the taste is not in place, that is, for picky eating behavior, education and diet are needed to produce acceptance and emotional needs from the inside out, families with children probably many parents have found a feature, that is, "what the child does himself, it is also fragrant without looking at the eyes."
Secretly throw the sweet potatoes into the garbage can Ofsis, with the help of his mother, the garden harvested finger-sized sweet potatoes, when cooking noodles at noon, West Africa wanted to put sweet potatoes into the noodles to cook together, friends could not stop it, and finally the noodles were cooked first, the sweet potatoes were not ripe, so that the friends could not understand that Sissi also ate the unripe sweet potatoes with relish, while chewing while muttering "it's delicious, so delicious."
Since then, friends have let Sisi participate in the labor every time before cooking, washing dishes, handing dishes, serving cups of water, and turning the dishes in the hands... Once when making dumplings, Xixi kneaded the shape of the dumplings into a mud-like shape, and when it came to the time of the meal, the most beautiful dumplings were not as good as a lump of mud-like shape, although the children in the cooking experience of food in the kitchen is always chicken flying dog jumping picture, but in the eyes of the child' cooking food is the world food they have participated in.
Diligence and simplicity are gradually harvested in practice experience, which is also the original intention and significance of joining labor after double subtraction education, if children do not understand what is thrifty and thrifty, and do not know how to integrate this excellent into quality, it is recommended that parents try to see the picture book storytelling, planting feelings and cooking experience three aspects of real feelings, from the heart to resonate, from the practice to create value!
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I am Lan Ma, focusing on the analysis of the parenting field author, with personal examples, a variety of family education examples, to record the moment of parenting feelings, like friends, welcome to pay attention to @ Lan Mama talk about parenting together to learn and grow together!