Wen | condensed mother's understanding
Kindergarten children will grab toys, usually two children do not give in to each other, is it to teach children to let go or cling to it? It is often said that a child's release represents compromise, and a firm grasp means that he is strong and not bullied. But if you blindly let the child grasp it, it is not a good way.
4-year-old Erbao came home from school and found a wound on the side of the palm of his right hand, which was still fresh. Asked what was going on, he said, "It was with a classmate who grabbed a line, and his hand was scratched." ”
Seeing Erbao injured, my heart was not a taste, and when I asked him about the specific situation, he cried and did not want to say.
The next day, when his mood improved, I asked again tentatively and understood the approximate reason. He and his classmates found a thread at the same time and wanted to play with it, and they picked up the thread at the same time and grabbed it. In the process of robbery, the line crossed from Erbao's hand, and the classmate took the line, leaving a wound on Erbao's hand.
I would like to tell Erbao "Let go when grabbing things in the future", but I feel that it is not appropriate to say so, in case Erbao develops the habit of letting go of his hands and is pinched by someone as a soft persimmon?
Seeing a case told by a friend, a mother told the kindergarten child: If someone grabs your toy, you immediately let go of it and give it to him.
Friends found the child to be very introverted, considering that it may have something to do with the mother's way of educating. If the child shrinks back when he encounters difficulties, there is no other way, so what should he do if he encounters school bullying in the future? Is it also a retreat?
Children who blindly give in are indeed easy to be bullied! Easy to spoil children who like to grab things.
Another mother said that her daughter often played with a little sister, and the little sister liked her daughter's toys and went to grab them. The mother was worried that her daughter was young and could not grab her sister, so she taught her daughter to let go. As a result, the little sister kicked her nose in the face and came to grab her daughter's toy every time.
Therefore, you can't simply tell your child to "let go" and everything will be fine, but also make your child look bad at bullying.
However, when we consider the child's personality, we often ignore the problem that the child will be hurt. Nor can the child cling to the toy, what if the toy has the risk of causing harm to the child? For example, thread, paper, scissors, etc., it is easy to get hurt when grasped.
Or, the other child has more strength, the child can not grab, but will be dragged to the ground, and may also be violent.
It is not good to let go, it is not good to grasp it, what to do in the end? It's a worrying thing. After looking up a lot of information and thinking of some methods, I adopted another set of educational methods. Teach children 3 methods, so as to ensure the healthy development of children's personality, but not to be hurt.
First, determine the ownership of the toy
Toys are divided into two categories, private and public, with different ownership and different ways of handling.
If it is your own private toy, you must learn to defend your rights and interests and do not allow others to grab the toy. If the other party has a good discussion, the child can decide whether to share according to his own wishes. Of course, we want to encourage sharing, and sharing makes people happy.
If it is a public toy, there must be a sense of "taking turns" to play. Adhere to this principle:
- Whoever sees it first plays.
- At the same time, it is seen that the two people "burden scissor hammer", determine the order of play, and solve the problem peacefully, rather than relying on force to grab.
- Toys that are being played with are not allowed to be robbed, nor are they allowed to grab toys in the hands of others.
Second, the principle of protecting oneself is to protect oneself
If you encounter a situation where you are robbed of a toy, the most important thing is to protect yourself first. You can judge two situations to determine whether to let go or grasp firmly.
One is to look at the safety of the item.
The child does not know which items seem safe, but in fact there are risks, we can give the child a list of them, so that he can know.
Like thinner threads, A4 paper, scissors, rulers, pencils with pointed heads, etc., these are potentially dangerous, if someone grabs, just let go.
The kite line hurts people, everyone should have heard about it. Some firefighters have done experiments, very thin kite line, can cut radish, cut cucumber, cut apples, cut chicken breast, understand the truth to know the power of a line can not be underestimated.
When my son was a child, he played with a classmate who grabbed a ruler, and his hand was injured and hurt for more than two days.
The second is to look at the strength of the other party.
If the other party is younger than their own age, the child's toys are not easy to be snatched, and it is also possible to grasp them firmly. But if the other person is stronger than himself, the odds are very small, and it is better to give up than to struggle. Once dragged down, the toy is not well protected, and he is still prone to injury, and the gain is not worth the loss.
Erbao and his classmates snatched a thread, but the line was not obtained, and his hand was injured, and as soon as he talked about it, he was uncomfortable.
Third, let the other party realize that they are not good at bullying
If the toy is safe, the other party's strength is comparable to his own, and he can insist on protecting his toy. Dodge or hold, so that the other party can not start.
If for safety reasons, let go of your hand, stare at each other with your eyes, and loudly declare your sovereignty, "This is my toy", "This is what I got first", "You can't grab", shock each other in momentum, and let other students and teachers hear, you can help yourself to uphold justice.
In this way, whether it is to let go or cling to their own toys, let the other party see that they are not good, even if they are lucky enough to bully people once, they will not endlessly bully children.
Written at the end: There are cases of children grabbing toys from time to time, but we may just focus on whether we want to grab them back, and it is easy to ignore the safety of children.
Relative to material loss, the child's physical safety is the first priority, and we need to think about it more carefully. How to protect a child's body and take into account his personality is indeed worth exploring.
I realized this from the experience of Erbao's hand injury, and I hope that this little reminder can help you.
I'm @Gelma Goku
Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience
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