Not long ago, the 75th Cannes Film Festival came to an end.
The film "The Determination to Break Up" helped South Korean director Park Chan-wook of the four battles in Cannes win the Best Director Award.
Many people are looking forward to the starring Tang Wei also being able to win the best actress with the film.
Unfortunately, the goddess eventually missed the laurel, but she seemed to be very calm.
Moreover, she seems to know that she will not win the award, and she left Cannes three days before the award to return to South Korea, without attending the final award ceremony.
This "if it's not mine, don't worry" attitude is very tangy.
Looking back at Tang Wei's screen trip, I found that she was different from other actresses of the same age in the internal entertainment.
She never needs to lower herself and strive to sell herself that "the price of the play is not expensive"; It also never hardens the big brand, and deliberately raises itself by offering sky-high film remuneration.
People can't help but wonder why Tang Wei's arbitrary behavior in such a complex environment as the entertainment industry has helped her go more smoothly.
It is never the "body frame" that determines the "value"
Tang Wei is very popular in Korea and is worshipped as the "National Goddess".
Koreans praise a female star for being good-looking, and will say that she looks like "Xiao Tangwei";
At the 2015 Busan International Film Festival in South Korea, Tang Wei was also the first Chinese actor to act as a host.
As we all know, South Korea's entertainment industry is extremely developed, the competition in the performing arts industry is quite fierce, and it is very difficult for a foreign actress to play in the land of Korean entertainment.
But Tang Wei did.
After "The Determination to Break Up", the actors who queued up to cooperate with Tang Wei, as well as Lee Byung-hyun and Park Baojian, were all "national-level" acting darlings.
Other actresses squeezed their heads to get resources and opportunities, and the top directors chased after Tang Wei to feed him.
Her film has been scheduled for 2025, with an endless stream of advertising endorsements and a value that has increased dozens of times.
However, before being selected for Cannes, Tang Wei's career development path was not so smooth.
When filming "Golden Age", Tang Wei not only read through all of Xiao Hong's works and copied them in traditional chinese, but also ran to Xiao Hong's former residence to make a wish, put a strand of hair under Xiao Hong's bed, and vowed to play a good role.
In order to feel Xiao Hong's state of hunger and cold in the northeast, as long as he found that his body was not cold, Tang Wei walked out of the studio and stood outside at minus thirty degrees to feel the wind and cold, and his whole body was stiff before entering the house.
But even so, director Xu Anhua still felt dissatisfied.
After the release of the movie, many viewers complained that Tang Wei's acting skills were not good, and said that without the two famous directors of Ang Lee and Kim Tae-yong, Tang Wei would not be able to do anything.
She didn't refute it, nor did she forcibly whitewash herself.
Instead, he generously admitted that he did not have any acting skills: "I feel it, I can act, I can't feel it, I really can't act." ”
Okay is OK, NO is NO, nothing to pretend.
She will make the most sincere evaluation of herself, and then start from herself, try to experience, learn, and constantly approach her ideal "good actor".
Since the controversy and ban of "Color Ring", Tang Wei did not become depressed, but went to the London Conservatory of Music and Drama to continue his studies.
At that time, she had a tuition fee of 350,000 yuan a year in London, and her living expenses were also very large.
In order to learn and survive, Tang Wei began to find ways to make money.
She painted portraits, worked as a badminton sparring partner, worked as a model, and held personal fashion exhibitions with newspapers, sponges, and Peking Opera faces.
In this way, she studied while polishing her acting skills.
When she first arrived in Britain, she was still an outsider who didn't even speak English fluently. After three years of study, she was able to switch between Chinese, English and Korean at the Korean awards ceremony Chinese.
Now, she has proven herself in the nominations at the Cannes Film Festival.
When people are still criticizing the so-called "stain" of her past, she has already lived a more wonderful life.
She summed up her life experience, that is, to live her own life calmly:
"Don't follow the crowd, think with your own mind and make inner choices."
All along, she has also practiced in this way: do not stir up topics, do not brush traffic, do not open Weibo, do not go on variety shows, maintain the mysterious sense that actors should have, and only rely on works to speak.
Director Park Chan-wook commented on Tang Wei said:
"She has a great courage, a quality that can be expressed without limits. She has this depth that keeps you curious, which is rare for an actor. ”
This is the blessing that sobriety and freedom bring to a person: you are always unique and charming in the eyes of others.
So you see, where are the really powerful people, where can they take care of the good, where can they dress?
A person's "stature" does not rely on the shelf to get, only humble and sincere, low-key growth, can win the respect of others.
The respect of others cannot be pretended
Once saw a fable story:
There is a frog who especially likes to pretend, and he carries the shelf when he has nothing to do, and he feels that he is particularly remarkable.
At one point, someone said it wasn't big enough to compare to a buffalo.
So it desperately inhaled into its stomach, trying to prove that it was better than the buffalo.
The result?
The frog took a breath and exploded his belly.
In real life, some people are like this frog, desperate for outside recognition.
They expect, beg, and even coerce others to identify with them.
Qu Weijie, a senior psychology expert, said:
"People with low self-esteem like to put up shelves, and really powerful people, they often don't have shelves, but just silently speak with strength." 」
A person deliberately wants to pretend and go to the end, because the inside is too scarce, as if if he is not careful, he will expose his weakness, and he must be blessed with external objects to have confidence.
In the company, my friend Nana met a man like the "frog" who joined the company less than a week earlier than Nana.
As soon as Nana arrived at the company, the colleague began to introduce herself enthusiastically:
Graduated from a prestigious university, have rich work experience, and have a wide range of contacts, you can find him if you don't understand anything.
At first, Nana was grateful and felt that her colleagues were helping her quickly integrate into the atmosphere of the company.
But over time, the taste gradually changed.
When Nana was working on the project proposal, this colleague would suddenly stand behind her and "point out": "You are not doing this right, this is too low, if it is me, I will ..."
Nana worked overtime until very late, the next day with the company's leaders to apply for a leave of absence, before waiting for the leader to speak, this colleague will say very loudly: "What is overtime, I work overtime much more than you this time, and I have not seen me take a break, young people should exercise more..."
When colleagues gather, he will also show his "connotation" at the dinner table: "I just watched a historical documentary two days ago, but it is interesting..." The result is said, and everyone who has seen it knows that there are many loopholes, but it is not good to debunk him, and can only laugh awkwardly.
Nana felt uncomfortable with such a person, so she stayed away from him.
Later, I heard from others that this colleague did not have a smooth life.
He found a rich local girl as a wife, and the girl's parents did not look up to his job and often counted him down.
For these family chores, he did not quarrel with his wife less, in order to avoid conflicts at home, simply worked overtime in the company.
Once he drunkenly confided in the truth, saying that he was not respected in the family, and subconsciously wanted to show himself more at work and find a little sense of existence.
His difficulty Nana understood, but could not recognize:
"Respect is to be fought for with one's own strength, not by lip service."
Yeah, we all prefer genuine people.
If there is a lack in the heart, it is unrealistic to rely on the recognition of the outside world to fill it.
The "shelf" that is put up is the appearance, reflecting the ignorance of a person's heart, not only can not fight for their own "face", but also will cause others to resent and alienate.
People are honest with themselves and correct their bodies and minds
Each of us wants to be respected, and that requires us to be honest and confident.
Honesty with yourself is a gesture and a demeanor; It is a kind of cultivation, but also a kind of wisdom.
So, how can you put aside the "end dress" and be more honest and confident?
First of all, we must cultivate our minds and minds, and unite our knowledge and actions.
If we don't observe ourselves, if we don't know ourselves, we don't know our own hearts, let alone understand the hearts of others, and win the approval and respect of others.
Self-cultivation lies in cultivating the mind first, not always feeling that you are the center of the world, but seeing your own advantages and facing up to your own shortcomings.
To open yourself is to admit that you have limitations, but not to disguise too much, and not to embellish too much.
Second, we must learn to think independently and not make decisions blindly.
The truly open person will accept others, trust others, but also maintain their own rational awareness.
If a person does not believe in anything, he will like to put up a shelf and raise the bar;
And if one believes in everything, one thinks that one knows everything and regards everything one knows as truth.
Some young girls around them are easy to believe in the seemingly romantic but absurd concept of love on Douyin, and they also try to borrow these views to "wake up" other people around them.
This is using other people's brains to think about their own lives, which will only become narrower and narrower.
Learn to think independently, encounter problems, try to master multi-faceted consultation and feedback, see through the essence, and handle it carefully.
Finally, we need to learn to live in the moment and compare ourselves.
Another quote from Adler is given to everyone: "Life is not a game with others."
If we are always watching, comparing ourselves to others, we are constantly asking ourselves in our hearts: How am I? Better than others or worse than others? The feeling of self will become weaker and weaker.
Throughout our lives, we just stagger along our own path, and others walk fast or slow, which has nothing to do with us.
The value of life lies in constantly surpassing ourselves, as long as we are better than ourselves yesterday every day, our efforts are meaningful.
Beloved, man has two lives, one is the birth of the flesh and the other is the awakening of the self.
At what level your ego is, your life is in what state.
Márquez once wrote: "Life has never been separated from solitude and independent existence." Whether we are born, we grow, we fall in love, or we succeed or fail, until the end, loneliness exists like a shadow in a corner of life. ”
May we all be able to be in the lonely journey of life, misbehaving, honestly knowing ourselves, and becoming ourselves.
Planning | Autumn and autumn
Edit | Kiwi