Recently, "wife literature" has become popular on the Internet.
The latest source of discussion comes from the Weibo content of netizens @ Xu Xu into the month.
Formally, this is just a girl who uses Weibo to silently record her daily life and is "no different from other users".
Content... She uses the rather "clucking" style of writing throughout, recording one after another of her "sweet" daily life with her boyfriend.
But unlike the "show-off wives" who are luxury goods and travel the world at every turn, the "sweet stories" recorded by this girl are quite simple and even somewhat incomprehensible.
Want to spend money to buy a keyboard, and are dissuaded by the boyfriend 'rationally';
The game Krypton gold spent a hundred dollars, and was immediately reprimanded by the boyfriend "You are very rich" is it;
Even her boyfriend buying her "imported contraceptives" has become a source of happiness...
Many people refer to this kind of weird "show of love" text written by bloggers such as @Meng Qiqi @Xu Into the Moon @ Years Zhirou, collectively referred to as "wife literature", and nailed them to the shame rack one by one.
Some argue that the common source of discomfort in such words lies in their self-hypnotic hostility—as if they were eating while squinting their eyes to sympathize with other girls for not being able to eat.
From netizen spicy comments
For the girl's "whole network ridicule", in fact, a period of time has passed.
So, today we no longer say those ridiculous words, nor do we simply express our incomprehension —
From the emergence of "wife literature", to the subtle changes in temperament, to the thrilling details in the story, we try to find more reasons behind the existence of "wife literature".
Wife literature, can also be downgraded?
Most people know that "wife literature" is not essentially a new word.
The earliest to let this kind of "wife-style show love" Weibo spread, it should be the originator of Fanxue @ Meng Qiqi 77.
In her Weibo, he always sends bags and cars to send cosmetics, and when she is in a bad mood, he will accompany him to fly abroad to see the world, and she can let him appear in front of him thousands of miles away with a phone call.
The logic of this kind of "wife" is that he thinks that he embodies the "only value" of the woman in his heart - 100% pinch a man's heart and let him be "obedient" to himself.
That is, women want to prove their worth, relying not on personal ability, but on the means of men, mastering the degree of men.
This is already a very obvious "self-objectification".
Under this logic, the whole world seems to have become a huge, feudal, and backward "palace fighting stage."
And the wonderful and frightening thing is that the form and type of "wife literature" have changed.
From enjoying men's "obedience" to enjoying men's control and depreciation——
It is hard to imagine that the "wife literature", which has degraded itself to the level of "all-round palace fighting", has the possibility of collapsing downwards.
The first is the cessation of rights, the satisfaction of being "pampered" from being completely obedient;
Then there is still the right to surrender, but from being controlled and degraded, he is looking for a kind of satisfaction that "beating is kissing and scolding is love".
Many female netizens laughed at themselves:
This is simply a "devaluation of the wife" and a "demotion of the wife".
From comments from netizens
Her story is about you!
Some people may think that "wife" is a great profile for this type of woman. But I must first say that I don't like the term "wife literature."
Even the "alias" that is popular, understandable, and simplified can achieve wider dissemination. But the appearance of this word always makes people feel as if the language of these judgments, and the woman who wrote them, is only entertainment.
This kind of entertainment will make us look at her with the mentality of "hanging high without caring about ourselves".
So much so that in her words, she is the object.
In the eyes of the "spectator", she also became an object. A special individual who deserves only to be judged, ridiculed, and abandoned.
Even - based on the rough depreciation of this "strange" female individual, further strengthen their sober, rational, tall image.
"Only this inexplicable 'wife' would write this kind of thing, have this mentality. I would never. ”
"These 'wives' literature is a distant hot spot, an after-dinner conversation. It has nothing to do with me. ”
Actually, this is not the case.
The so-called "wife-wife literature"—which I prefer to call some sort of "self-deception psychology" of women in intimate relationships—is not the same rare, curious phenomenon, and its existence is far more common than we think.
Because I can't face reality correctly, I haven't yet captured the light that sees the whole picture, or I just feel a little abnormality. And this slight anomaly is not enough to overturn the whole present life.
Therefore, instead, a grand "self-hypnosis" began.
People only see what they want to see. Thus, people who desire happiness, who crave dependence, who desire to be "led" and "thought about," begin to convince themselves to derive happiness from "regulation."
Even in the eyes of outsiders, this "happiness" comes from such a distortion, small and humble.
But over time, subtly, she believed. We all believed it.
This psychology lurks in the slightest detail of life— especially in women's lives. Especially in things that at first glance seem insignificant but actually represent some kind of "subjectivity."
Let me give you an example.
Summer is coming, and your boyfriend doesn't allow you to wear a small suspender: "You're my person, wear so naked to show others?!" ”
After a big fight, you still have a little happiness in your heart, you think it means "he cares about me" and "I look attractive".
And the reason you think of to convince him is: "I'm dressed sexy, isn't it more faceless for you to take me out?" ”
The boyfriend thought about it and nodded in agreement.
Little Red Book even has a special "boyfriend does not let wear series"
In this context, "care" and "love" become a form of control. Men are the subjects of intimate relationships, and women are naturally controlled and carried objects.
Due to the lack of doubts, everyone almost acquiesced to the dominance of men, and even took this so-called "masculinity" and "possessiveness" as the norm.
And when women are also persuaded by this rogue "logical self-consistency", they naturally enter this logic.
It will become even the way of "being yourself" and become the "decoration" of dwarfing yourself into the other party.
Blogger @ this month's evaluation of the "wife literature" incident, described the "female value" defined by the public by default:
"Men are a footnote to women's charm, and charm is a woman's life."
This explains not only the origin of this "self-deception" mentality in emotions, but also the logic behind the countless related little things in life .
Even many women themselves believe that "charm" is the only existential value of women.
Therefore, in a class, there will be "wife literature" that is constantly filled with famous bags and cosmetics and the whole world.
In another class, there will be "wife literature" that does not allow the game to kryptonite gold and does not buy a new keyboard.
Whether it is pampering or controlling, men's attention is invested in women, which means that they are "someone wants" and "attractive"...
In this mentality, women who are not recognized by men for their charm are the most "bottom" and have no value.
Invisible oppression, still playing out...
At the beginning, it was mentioned that @Xu Xu entered the moon Weibo once recorded a story about "contraceptives".
If you talk about his other Weibo content, it only makes me feel uncomfortable and strange. So this Weibo, I feel more of a kind of pain and anger about the "situation".
It can be seen in the text that the man not only does not do a good job of contraception, but also boasts of saving money to buy her "imported contraceptives". Such an irresponsible practice became ironclad evidence in his mouth that "hurt her, love her, and be good to her".
And this girl was really persuaded by her boyfriend's words, and wrote this "sweet conversation" without any worries and smugness and shared it with everyone.
Is she stupid?
Of course it's silly, but this "stupidity" is made.
In saying this, she is clearly not well educated about "contraception" and no one gives her a correct, complete, and objective guide when she should know these things.
So much so that she groped and groped in the mixed concepts of fish and dragons, and finally simply gave up thinking and chose to believe in this man he thought was worthy of dependence.
From comments from netizens
And this man, too, did not receive the above series of education.
What is even more frightening is that as a man who does not have to bear any physical consequences, his irresponsible behavior of putting all the cost on the woman has never been subject to any "restraint" and "condemnation" that should have been.
So everything became a matter of course.
Under the absurd "logical self-consistency" of men and the habitual "self-deception" of girls, this happened, or in this form of "showing off".
And this is the corner of the "invisible oppression" in countless intimate relationships between men and women.
And the corner related to "sex" is the most depressing, darkest, and most costly part of it.
@Xu Xu into the moon chat history with your boyfriend
The rest of the section is quietly hidden in the comment area of the relevant event.
Some people say that their friends once shyly shared: "He pressed me into the water for more than 20 seconds, and he tried to drown me." ”
Some people say that they are "complaining" about their husbands in the video, but they are disguised as a kind of "show love".
The comment area of "Xiu En Ai" is: "The same husband, I ate crab food poisoning, he continued to order the next day." ...... Bought a mosquito repellent water with pesticides for wild use and used it for me. ......”
After being asked why, she replied: "[You] might as well be understood as a kind of spoiling and speechlessness of a mother mentioning her own stupid son." ”
Under such self-hypnosis, men's possessiveness, control, violent desire, contempt and laziness of those around them are all painstakingly interpreted as a manifestation of "love".
Once upon a time, the love that the big heroine pursued was "I am rich, I don't need anything you provide me, I just need real love." ”
Now, it all seems to be quietly changing —
In many sinking platforms, more and more women are saying, "Man, you have to love me with real money." I deserve so much money. ”
From blogger @ this month
In this regard, I really want to tell you:
We can pursue love, but we must not allow ourselves to compromise in a worse relationship situation.
For example, take the initiative to give up your rights and take the initiative to treat yourself as an object.
There may only be one thing we can do, which is not to give up thinking —
Think of yourself as a complete individual who cannot be exchanged for money, who has full individual value.
What do you think of "wife literature"?
Ever encountered a similar "self-hypnotic" story?
Comments section, waiting for your opinion.
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Author: Du Ye
Vision: Cage Pot