Although time has passed, I still remember that there was no sun that winter, and it was particularly cold.
The sky was as dark as earth, gloomy and wet, as if it could wring out water.
That winter, he was like a rebellious child, inadvertently running away from home, and his heart was taken away. As a result, the home became a shell of souls that had been sucked away, and there was no life.
The meadow in front of the house was full of sorrow and desolate. But I still thought that he was just momentarily willful and lost his way. So I stubbornly waited, waiting for the illusory return date.
At every intersection homecoming, at every dusk, even under every lone light of the night, every minute, every second, I can feel the sound of my heart breaking little by little.
There was no sun that winter, and the heavy smog and thick clouds overwhelmed me, and I was clearly planning a riot! Occasionally, a flock of sparrows forages for food in the grass in front of the house, occasionally swirling and flying away in pairs, adding a touch of life to the lonely winter.
That winter was particularly long, so long that it made people feel hopeless for the coming spring. So I wanted to escape, I wanted to find the sun, even if it was just a little, a little, enough to make me feel joy and hope. However, whenever I see my young daughter obedient and innocent, my heart will be pulled to the point of pain. Eventually, I was lost in that long and cold winter...
There was no sun that winter, until one day I found out that his departure had been planned for a long time. His betrayal was so unscrupulous, so grandiose, so ostentatious, so outrageous.
Reality gave me a resounding slap in the face. My world began to drift snow, and it was coming fast. Snow, one after another, covered the whole world. I was like a swallow that had not yet had time to fly south, lonely and helpless, curled up in the ice and snow, shivering. In a blur, I saw drops of blood gushing out, and I could still feel a trace of warmth soaking the tired nerves. I carefully fed my feeble soul, waiting for the long winter to squeeze into a glimmer of sunshine, waiting for that distant spring to grow a spring.
The young daughter was wearing a small red cotton jacket, like a cluster of small flames, and the small figure silently warmed me. Seeing my daughter, I seemed to see the warm sun coming towards me a little bit.
My daughter and I were lying in bed, and the dim light illuminated the cabin a little red and hazy.
I desperately bit the huge pain in my heart and swallowed it little by little, and I tentatively said to my daughter with the greatest calmness: "Xiao, my mother wants to discuss something with you." My daughter looked at me in amazement and asked, "What's the matter, Mom?" My heart trembled violently, and I tried to calm down my emotions and slowly said, "Xiao, I told you not to be sad. After a pause, I lowered my voice, as thin as a mosquito: "I am ready to divorce your father, although I don't want to hurt you, but I really can't live..." "I know, Mom, I support you!" "Before I could say anything more, my daughter's very powerful answer surprised me, and my tears instantly broke the embankment!" I don't know if it's touching or sad.
I tried to suppress all the grief to the bottom of my heart, suppressed the tears and choking that came from the tide, and constantly comforted my daughter and said: "Xiao, don't be afraid, although we are divorced, mom will always be your mom, dad will always be your dad, we will always love you!" ”
"It's all Mom and Dad's fault, Mom just hopes you don't hate him, and I don't hate him, okay?" Do we use the time and energy we hate him to enrich ourselves and treat ourselves well? "My daughter didn't speak, she threw herself into my arms, and she had already choked and cried." Mom knows you're sad, Mom will always be with you, you're Mom's baby. ”
I did my best to calm the waves in my heart, constantly comforting my daughter and comforting myself.
The daughter cried all night, hoarse. Since that night, my daughter has become my only spiritual pillar. Since that night, my daughter and I have become friends who know each other. It was an unforgettable night and a major turning point in my life. It was also a long night, and my daughter and I had no sleep.
Faintly, there seems to be a chicken chirping in the distance, and there are crisp birdsong in the yard.
When it finally dawned, I pushed open the door, a cold wind slipped into our mother's and daughter's room, and I slowly got up from the winter ice and snow...
About the Author
Zhu Yijin is a native of Tongjiang County, Bazhong City, Sichuan Province. He likes to cook tea and taste Tang style song rhymes; he records the bits and pieces of life with words, especially loves literature, and has published essays and poems on the newspaper network.