01
The characters are easy to write, one stroke at a time.
People are not easy to do, and they are fighting with each other.
How to behave is always a difficult problem.
The playwright Maugham said: "At that time, I did not understand how paradoxical human nature was, and I did not know that there may be pretentiousness buried under the sincerity and sincerity, and there may be meanness and shamelessness behind the high wind and bright festival." ”
When people reach middle age, standing in the crowd, everyone likes to smile, but behind the smile, there are many unspeakable grievances and some ulterior motives.
Life is difficult, there are old people on the top, there are children on the bottom, manage the family, but also have to manage the mortgage car loan, can not breathe for a moment.
It is said that brothers and sisters are like brothers and sisters, and at critical times, they can pull a hand. Reality and ideals are far apart, and maybe you're worried about sibling interactions and have the idea of breaking off ties.
There is a way to behave, called "outer square inner circle". That is to say, the internal must be reunited, the external must be strong, and the interests of the outside should be pulled to the home, which is the skill; the nest fights, not the ones.
Therefore, it is recommended that you, in the big family, learn to "pretend", make yourself a soft person, resolve everyone's contradictions, and absorb all the "sharp edges".
02
First, when you have money, pretend to be poor, and there is less jealousy.
Many people, at family gatherings, will show their achievements. Say what investment you have made recently, how much money you have made, and what you can develop into in the future.
The words of showing off, spoken out, will be envied by everyone. It's not pleasant.
From another point of view, to show off oneself is to belittle others.
As the saying goes, "Ten fingers are not the same." ”
Siblings are the "fingers" of their parents. They are all connected to the heart, but the length is different. When a person reaches middle age, the extended family is divided into several smaller families – your family is rich, his family is poor, and some families are not good or bad.
If you expose your money, you will unconsciously crush the "poor" and cause all kinds of inner discomfort.
If you're bragging about yourself, it's even more unnecessary. A family, know the roots, why do you have to cheat? Your hypocrisy will make everyone sad.
If your siblings know you have money and often ask you to borrow money, how should you refuse? Do not refuse, your money is lent out at will, how to get it back, are all difficult problems.
Pretending to be poor will not make you lose face, but let everyone's level always be in a balanced state, and it will be more pleasant to get along.
03
Second, when arguing, pretending to be confused, there will be fewer contradictions.
In "Water Margin", Song Jiang was elected as "big brother" by good men. If you think about it, why? His martial arts are not strong, but he is a master of interpersonal relations.
For example, once when crossing a river in a boat, a man inexplicably got angry and punched Song Jiang in the face. Afterwards, Hanzi took the initiative to apologize. Song Jiang said that when everyone has an impulse, it will be fine.
Li Kui borrowed Song Jiang's money, entered the gambling game, lost it, and paid off the account. Song Jiang took the initiative to break the siege, paid off the gambling debt, and invited Li Kui to drink.
No matter what you do, the primary purpose is "unity." Otherwise, more than a hundred good men would not be able to make their home in Liangshan.
As the saying goes: "The clams fight each other, and the fishermen win." ”
Brothers and sisters quarrel endlessly, and the people who can profit are outsiders. After all, when quarreling, the power of the family is minimal, and people who resent the family will also unite with outsiders to deal with the family.
When arguing, you are confused. What you gain, what you lose, is not the same thing; if someone scolds you, you will take it as the wind in your ears and smile at you.
04
Third, when helping each other, pretend to be generous and have less planning.
Remember, emotional debt is a rotten account that can never be calculated.
When brothers and sisters interact, it is impossible without help. Even a very poor family will help each other to plant seedlings, cut rice, etc., which is reflected in agricultural work.
When you go out to work, you introduce each other to work; when you start a business, you make money together; if someone wants to buy a car or a house, you can also receive red envelopes... But have you ever wondered how to repay the other person?
Usually, the grace of dripping water is repaid by gushing springs. You can't be a person without conscience, and you must remember to repay your kindness at any time, otherwise you will become a white-eyed wolf.
The affection within the family exists all his life and is also inexplicable. Therefore, it is necessary to return the favor in an "unclear" way. That is, to be grateful all your life, regardless of whether "giving and receiving" are reciprocal.
Try to help your family as much as possible, and be generous in returning gifts, and you will feel ashamed. If everyone is like you, helping becomes "commonplace", and the debt of feelings will increase, but the feelings will become more and more intense.
05
Fourth, when filial piety to parents, pretend to be innocent, and the blood is thick.
When people reach middle age, their parents are already old, and they may have reached the point where they need to be taken care of.
At whom should parents retire? Who is responsible for delivering meals and who is responsible for seeking medical treatment? Everyone sat together and discussed.
As the saying goes, "A father can manage ten sons well, and ten sons can't manage a father." ”
Everyone has a scale in their hearts, always use their own standards to measure others, thinking that they have suffered losses and others have taken advantage. When it comes to supporting parents, it will be reflected.
When the contradiction of maintenance is exposed, you should be naïve. Seriously think back to how my brothers and sisters lived their lives as children. Everyone was scrambling to eat and grow up. One piece of clothing, the eldest wore, the second wore.
The translator Ying Ruocheng once said that when I was a child, my family was very poor. One day, he deliberately hid and did not eat, hoping that his family would be in a hurry. However, the family was not in a hurry, and when he returned to the dinner table, he found that the meals were gone, and his parents did not leave food, and his mood was very lost.
After Yingruocheng grew up, he didn't care about the "loss" of his childhood. According to his nephew Yingning, Yingruocheng, who was an uncle, took money for his juniors to go to college.
As a person, the more complicated the inner emotions, the more unable to handle the family relationship. Simpler, but can see the good side, this is the effect of de-complexity and simplicity.
Children come to ask their parents for debts, brothers and sisters are the deepest fate, as long as they cherish it for a lifetime, they know why they should support their parents.
06
There is a saying that goes: "To spread the sunshine into the hearts of others, first have the sunshine in your own heart." ”
It is unrealistic for everyone to want something from the extended family but not to give something.
I have the habit of caring for my family all my life, so there is no way to stop the footsteps of family affection. A little money will not become the fuse of the struggle for interests.
When people reach middle age, life is very hard, but you have to pretend to be relaxed.
Pack it up and everything is safe.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.