Brief introduction:
Wen Sui had a crush on a man who had a crush for ten years, and ten years later, he met him again.
Excerpt from the article:
In the afternoon, the man did not come back.
The playground railing hung a red banner "The Opening Ceremony of the 16th Intercollegiate Games of the N University", and the speakers between the games played back the press release of Hong Kong's return three months ago, all full of hope, but in this hope, Wen Sui could not find him.
When I returned to the dormitory, the chairs inside were in a mess, and the roommates were all running outside, and none of them came back.
Wen Sui sat down on the edge of chuáng, took the mineral water bottle from his arms, and carefully examined it.
The water bottle was very ordinary, there were already many traces of friction on the plastic shell, and the sun fell through the window, illuminating the water left inside, making it a brilliant huáng, into a beautiful red.
Like flowing desire.
He suddenly unscrewed the cap, and then very slowly, tremblingly, covered his lips on the edge of the bottle.
It seemed as if the man's temperature was still on it.
The brilliant desire in the water was transmitted to him through the mouth of the bottle, causing a fine sweat to gradually appear on his forehead, and the skin from his neck to the tip of his ear was completely red.
From an early age, teachers tell us what is right.
Dad loves Mom, Mom loves Dad, they love me, and I love them. This is a happy, perfect, right family.
Since it is normal for men to like women, then men like men, naturally they are all perverts.
Unfortunately, at least at the moment of kissing the mouth of the bottle, Wen Sui became one of them.
Men who seem to be cowering and timid often do unexpected things.
Wen Sui was born in the countryside, with a shy and shy personality, and his concepts were very conservative in all aspects. He was terrified of his own inferiority and indecency, but again and again he could not resist the desire in his heart, and quietly hid outside the building of the School of Architecture and Engineering, looking from a corner, to hope.
He was just an ordinary student, not a gān department, no background, of course, he couldn't easily get the details of someone, so he had to wait stupidly, stupidly.
Throughout the sophomore year, he actually waited a few times. So Wen Sui slowly figured out the rules, knowing that Wednesday at four o'clock in the afternoon was Jun Hanru's class time.
Junhan came and went in a hurry, never with people, and left without nostalgia when he went out, he always looked very busy.
But just these tens of seconds from stepping out of the door to walking far away are enough for Wen Sui to firmly remember his face and body shape.
That face, others will not like it when they see it.
The lines of the facial features and face are very cold, the eyes are slightly droopy, and the lips are always in a straight line. Coupled with its extremely high size, the whole body presents an oppressive and lonely temperament.
But Wen Sui liked it.
He didn't know what was going on, he just knew he liked it. Wen followed in the small corner, in the crowd, carefully, silently peeking and peeping, feeling the secret throbbing of the heart.
More and more like, more and more like.
He only saw Junhanru for a year.
To be precise, it was an autumn with a chūn day.
After his junior year, Jun Hanru seemed to disappear from the school. Wen Suiyi, who was accustomed to waiting, lost the goal of waiting and was simply at a loss. In his hopelessness, he gradually understood that Jun Hanru had probably left himself and gone far ahead.
After that, Wen Sui never saw him again.
When I graduated, the boys in the same dormitory carelessly threw away all the idle things that could be seen in the house.
Including the bottle of mineral water that Wen Sui has always kept.
The bottle was so plain on the table that no one would realize what value it had.
Wen Sui didn't know how long he had been turning over in the trash can, and he turned over while shedding tears, and his whole body stinked, but he still refused to stop.
Of course, the bottle was not found, but life still had to go on.
When he was twenty years old, Wen Sui knew that if he walked through the central square of the school and hid behind the letterbox cabinet in the front building of the building, he could occasionally see Jun Hanru once in a while. But after leaving the campus, he did not know how to see him again in the great society.
Ten years can be long or short. Because Wen Sui's life is so monotonous, boring, and constantly repeats the same things: repeating the rush for life, repeating the trivial things, repeating the family that provides for him.
In his bleak and mediocre life, the hopeless and unsightly love he once had completely shrunk into an ordinary piece of flesh and blood, no longer inflated, no longer releasing desire.
Personnel changes can obscure all memories, and sometimes Wen Sui will occasionally recall Jun Hanru when he sits in front of the moldy wall, when he looks through the vegetable market with tomatoes, and when he looks at the beach in front of his house.
At that time, he felt that maybe life had passed like this.
One day in the late autumn, Wen Sui ran errands for the manager and rushed to the bank to remit money in the financial district, so he saw Jun Hanru like that.
Ten years later, he stood straight across the road, holding a pen and writing something in a notebook.
At that moment, Wen had some tinnitus, and there was a strange buzz in his head, and all the barren memories of Junhanru from many years ago had all come back, and the snowflakes had fallen back quickly, and finally stopped on the playground, and he looked at himself condescendingly.
It was the morning rush hour, and after the green light was lit, Junhanru closed his book and walked forward with the crowded crowd. He was in a hurry, without a hint of nostalgia, exactly the same as the figure of Wen who had left with his memory.
In the playground that autumn, when Jun Hanru left, Wen Sui did not dare to follow. And now, he chased after Jun Hanru's looming figure in the crowd, panting.
Like a drifter at sea, swimming desperately towards the lighthouse in the distance.
He didn't notice that he had an almost shy smile on his face.
Wen Sui exchanged ten years of constant thoughts for a year in which Jun Hanru tortured himself, not knowing whether it was worth it or not.
Once he had to rely on a bottle of mineral water to fantasize about a kiss, now he knelt at the feet of a man without dignity and begged for pleasure, pressed like a dàng woman, not knowing which one was more pitiful.
For thirty years of life, Wen Sui has been living for others, and now that love has come, he thinks he can live for himself.
No one told him at the time that he was not qualified at all.
Thoughts are a kind of reconstruction, each time changing the real and modifying it into a false appearance. Under this reconstruction, the memories of the past have also become distorted and unrecognizable.
So on that autumn day, Jun Hanru stood three steps away from Wen Sui, looking at him condescendingly.
Then he walked up, stepped on his chest, and crushed it.
Crush all love, dreams, and crush them.