Children do not study well, children love to play games, children have poor self-care ability, children and small partners do not handle the relationship well, children have no plans for the future... There are so many problems with children that make me anxious.
Are you such a Father too?
In fact, this is completely inversion of cause and effect. The child's "problem" is not the cause of your anxiety, your anxiety is the cause of the child's "problem".
Parents are the creators of problems.
You can ask yourself a few questions carefully.
What happens to children who don't learn, love to play, have poor self-care skills, poor interpersonal relationships, and have no long-term goals? Afraid that he will not study well, have no good job, and live a bad life? What is the worst outcome of a bad time? → can't feed yourself? And then what? Can't live, died early. [Daze]
There is a person who, because he broke an egg, thought of losing a chicken farm, and then a series of tragedies, and finally lost his life.
In fact, you are often like this: because your child has a poor test score once, he thinks that sooner or later he will starve to death because he is unable to do so. This is what you never realized, the most primitive survival death anxiety of human beings.
Because your survival/death anxiety is deep in your consciousness and happens in an instant, it's easy for you to catastrophize and expand your thinking without knowing it.
In order to alleviate your anxiety, you enroll your child in various cram schools, stare at him to study, help him take care of his internal affairs, and do not let him waste too much time playing with his partners, you let him just study well and think about nothing else... That's how you create a "problem" child.
Therefore, the key to solving the problem of children is to deal with the anxiety of parents.
Don't pay too much attention to your child, you need to learn to pay attention to yourself, love yourself, exercise, meditate, yoga, be kind to the body, and improve the quality of life. You can continue to learn, cultivate yourself, be aware of emotions and thoughts, upgrade your cognition, and live a transparent life.
When you are free of fear and become calm, you give your child a way to live, and he will plan well and take charge of his own life.
Let us be ourselves and let the child be himself.