"Ten years of life and death are two vague, do not think, unforgettable", this is Su Shi mourning his dead wife. It feels like listening, and there is a feeling of desolation. Even if his wife has died for so many years, she still remembers it and writes it down in poetry. In order to commemorate their past relatives, some people will leave their relatives behind, which is a kind of remembrance.
However, this kind of "missing" habit is not worth advocating, and relatives must not sleep in the bed where the deceased relatives slept, otherwise it may bring a kind of obscurity to themselves. Exactly what the reason is, there is a basis, not nonsense.
The world faces a test of life and death
Life in the world, old age, illness and death, that is an unavoidable thing, it is a kind of "fate cycle". On Earth, there will be the birth of newborn babies, and there will be the death of old people. Wait until the old man next to him dies. You will lament the preciousness of life and cherish the happy life you have now. If you lose a spouse, some people are depressed and never feel happy again.
Even if the Nine-Five-Year-Old can only watch the death of a beloved woman, leaving endless sadness in his heart. When Lady Li, Emperor Wudi's favorite concubine, died, Emperor Wudi of Han was very sad, and he could only remember His Concubine in the days to come. The death of Tang Xuanzong's beloved concubine Wu Huifei was also sad and unbearable, until Yang Guifei entered the palace, which was not to alleviate the pain of losing his wife.
For the pain of losing relatives in life, others cannot understand it and cannot replace it with material life. In addition to those deceased relatives, there is also the pain of separation of husband and wife, it is really better to live than to die. The Southern Song Dynasty poet Lu You and his cousin Tang Wan were very affectionate, but because of their mother's strong opposition, the two were forced to separate, and when the two were reunited, their inner pain could be imagined. With the famous song "Phoenix", Lu You's inner pain can be imagined.
Pinned on what was born
It is often said that death is a kind of liberation, but living in the world is a kind of pain. In order to alleviate the pain of losing a loved one, some people will come up with all kinds of ways, in addition to talking, that is, to cherish the things they used before they died. In "The Legend of the Archery Hero", Huang Yaoshi, in order to commemorate his beloved wife, prepared an ice coffin for her. Every time he was depressed, he would go there and speak to her as if his wife were still alive.
For the loss of a loved one, everyone has their own way of mourning, such as leaving a photo or carrying an object with them. Every time we see these things, it seems to bring us into the vortex of memories, and the emotions of thoughts slowly surround us. This act of pinning emotions on objects is understandable, but don't sleep in the bed of the deceased. It's not out of thin air, because it's not good for you.
Some people have spent their whole lives pinning their thoughts on the belongings of the deceased, destined to be difficult to forget in this life. In the "Biography of Zhen Huan in the Harem", the emperor has been difficult to forget Chun Yuan all his life, and he is also pinned on finding a "stand-in" Zhen Huan. After doing so many things, how is it, after all, it is still a void, and it hurts the people around you.
The drawbacks of this
When we pin our thoughts on some objects, we will trap ourselves. This kind of seemingly detached from reality, has been indulged in good things, if suddenly "broken" by reality, there will be a feeling of falling apart. Just like the emperor in the play found that Zhen Huan was not a pure yuan, that kind of loss overflowed into words and was difficult to describe in words. There is a saying in psychology that it is called great compassion and great pain, which is not good for the body.
Therefore, there is a ritual that after a person dies, he will "burn" the items he used during his lifetime. The ancients often said that people die like lights go out, and everything is lost with a fire, which is not a kind of liberation of the soul. Just keep those valuable things, take them out regularly to commemorate them, and ease the feelings of longing.
At that time, there was a kind of thing that was very avoidant, that is, the deceased used a bed before he died, which was generally easy to touch. The real purpose is to prevent others from being immersed in sadness and completely unable to come out. When the deceased dies, in order to never suffer, even if the bed is precious, it is rarely preserved. The main thing is that it is afraid of touching the scene and hurting the situation and stirring up people's restlessness, so it is better to completely "cut off" this relationship from the source.
Analyze from a medical point of view
Not to sleep in the bed of the deceased, there is medical evidence to support this view, to avoid being surrounded by negative emotions. Coming out of that common depression and grief, increasing psychological stress and incomplete psychological imbalance. It may Chinese avoid the project, but objectively speaking, it is the truth. The water of the Yangtze River has no retreating waves, even if it continues to be remembered, it is better to bring people back to life than to focus on the present.
In addition, from the perspective of bacteria, when the average person is about to die, bacteria will be produced. This is sporadically scattered in bed, and if you lie in bed, you may come into contact with it, which in turn will affect your health. Whether it is to the deceased, but also to the living, they do not want to see the facts. It will be recommended not to do this, it will not be good for you.
When people themselves are sleeping, their sense of defense is the lowest, and their bodies happen to be in a state of rest. In other words, at this time, people are desperately absorbing peripheral abilities, and if you sleep in the bed of a dead person, it is equivalent to absorbing those bad things, which is really not good for you. And it will also affect the normal cell metabolism of the human body, which will affect people's health for a long time, and then affect lifespan.
Life should live in the moment
The loss of a loved one or a lover, if it is not a wolf heart dog lung, I believe that no one can escape the heart of sorrow. Draw a knife to cut off the water more flowing, raise a glass to dispel sorrow, more sorrow and more sorrow to tell this kind of love. At the funeral of Barbara, The elder Bush's wife, the husband looked at her coffin and did not want to leave for a long time, and the pain of bereavement could not be understood by ordinary people. But there is also a saying that people should live in the moment and cherish every day they stay in the world. Don't wait until you lose it before you feel sorry for it.
Filial piety should be done early, filial piety parents should cherish every minute and every second of the present, and try to meet the requirements of the elderly. Don't wait until the old man loses his life before reflecting that there was no filial piety to the old man in the past. In that case, it really didn't help, in other words, it didn't work.
"Often Go Home to See" does not illustrate a very common phenomenon, children take advantage of their free time, every New Year's Day to visit the elderly. Don't be aware of it, there is no way back in life, we can only say that we are moving forward. Cherish your friends along the way, even if you can't work together until you are old, not a lifelong confidant, at least don't leave regrets.
brief summary
People can be ruthless, and with the death of their loved ones, their feelings of sadness can be avoided. But it should be borne in mind that if people live as brightly as fireworks, then there is no great regret in really leaving. We should be happy for him, rather than blindly pinning ourselves on the things he left in the world, which are not good for you or for him.
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