It has been reported that 98% of parents are worried about their children's poor self-care ability, which has almost become a "heart disease" for parents. But how does this "heart disease" get sick? In fact, the problem of letting children suffer from the lack of independence is not the child itself, but the problem lies in our parents. I believe that the following example is not unfamiliar to everyone -
Qiang Qiang is a very smart child, the family regards it as a treasure, especially the grandparents are very distressed. When he reached the age of kindergarten, he was still fed by his parents. The teacher teaches the children to dress themselves and eat by themselves, and other children can learn to do it by themselves, but he just doesn't learn. To the age of elementary school, every day's stationery and school bags are helped by the mother to sort out, the mother said that she was afraid that he would lose everything he sorted out, and the next day he still wanted her to send it over, trouble, it was better to get it in three or two minutes. Gradually, Qiang Qiang knew that he only studied, and other things were the affairs of his parents, and he took this model for granted. Later, when he went to middle school, he naturally did these things himself when he was a child, but he still never did housework, including where his clothes were placed, he did not know. At this time, when others grow up, they will also spend money, from the original ten yuan a day of pocket money, to twenty, thirty, or even more a day. For his request the parents are not rejected. He believes that his needs are the responsibility of parents to meet him unconditionally. After graduating from college, Ben came to the age when he supported himself, but he was selective about his work, either feeling that his profession was not right, or his salary was too low. Staying home means not going to work. When his mother complained to me, I asked her, ''What does he usually pay for not going out to work?' ''Of course, what Mom said was given to us!' What if I don't give it? ‘’。 I said, 'What if you don't give it to him?' '''' Boom! noisy! His mother said helplessly. I said, ''Then the cost of his marriage will only be all yours?' Mom said, "I'm all ready!" He doesn't want to take care of that, as long as he goes out to work now and connects with society! I asked her mother again, "You have prepared everything for him, why is he going to work?" How easy is it to work at home and how tired is it? His mother was dumbfounded by my question.
I believe that most parents want their children to be independent and self-reliant, and to be a successful person when they grow up, rather than relying on their parents for a lifetime like Qiangqiang. However, raising excellent children requires not only energy and patience, but also the right method. Cultivating any kind of good habit in a child needs to start from an early age and start with a little bit of cultivation. Although reading and learning is important for children, but children grow up to enter society, and any book knowledge cannot replace the ability to take care of themselves, stand on their own feet, and the virtues of labor. So how to train children's self-care ability from an early age, so that they can develop good labor independence from an early age
What about habits? The following points are particularly important!
(1) Enhance children's sense of self-care in life. Parents unconditionally do anything for their children, which will make children form a misunderstanding: parents will help them do what they are not willing to do. Parents will definitely do things that they don't want to do. For example, if the child is thirsty, the parents will bring water; The child is going to get up, and the parents will dress him... Therefore, parents must exercise their children's independent ability from an early age through various channels. For example, through questioning, discussion, behavior exercises, etc., let children realize that they have the ability to do some things well, and be happy that they will do what they can.
(2) Let children learn specific ways of self-care in life. According to the age characteristics of children, teach children to do some things that can take care of themselves in life. Sometimes it is also possible to let children know some life skills in the form of children's songs. Children will sing these catchy nursery rhymes with interest. While doing the movements, I gradually learned to dress, undress and fold clothes, eat, and so on.
(3) Step-by-step culture. Every child's ability to comprehend is different. If parents find that after teaching several times, the child is still unable to complete this matter independently, then let the child learn step by step in the form of splitting. First, simply break down the steps of each skill into four or five stages, and then analyze and measure what the child can accomplish. If the child cannot complete it, the steps can be subdivided and carefully demonstrated by the parents or accompanied by the child to guide the child to complete until the child can complete it independently. Every child has the characteristics of each child, and parents should not compare their children with other children and feel that their children are stupid. Sometimes it may be that the parent's demonstration is not clear enough, so the child is confused, so a slow and clear demonstration is necessary. Teach based on the child's abilities and the steps that parents find easy to accept.
Although it is difficult to train children to do a thing independently, as long as parents have patience, think about their children's future lives, and think about how we want to cultivate their children into an excellent person, they will have great confidence and patience!