When Fang Yinuo was with Xiao Lu, his personality was grumpy, and he even had a thorn in his every word.
To be honest, when I first watched this drama, I didn't like the other party at all, although she suffered a lot of grievances in the month, and there were many bitterness as a woman after giving birth, but every time I saw her getting along with Xiao Lu, I felt that she was screaming, particularly noisy, and particularly collapsed.
Fang Yinuo, who was with Xiao Lu, was like a hedgehog who exploded at any time, and the two of them rarely spoke calmly and calmly, especially when they encountered some controversial issues, she never gave Xiao Lu room for discussion and consultation, and as soon as she opened her mouth, she was resentful and accused.
This dissatisfaction slowly accumulated into hatred, which was vividly expressed on the night before the two divorced, and the hurtful language blurted out, with an attack, and it was the kind of hatred that was eager to strip the other party of Lingchi.
With the injuries of the previous marriage, Fang Yinuo married Xie Tianhua, and the Xie family was quite critical of her, and from the beginning clearly expressed the signal of "not accepting" her, especially Xie Tianhua's sister, who made a big fuss at home at the first meeting and did not hide his dislike for her.
Changing the girl with a thin face may have already retreated, and I also thought that a person like Fang Yinuo, who has a strong sense of self-esteem and personality, would never be a little daughter-in-law who swallowed her anger, but unexpectedly, she put up with everything indifferently.
Not only did she tolerate the sneering ridicule of her by the eldest sister Xie Dan all the time, but even became a virtuous and filial daughter-in-law in the in-laws' family, and talking to Xie Tianhua also became gentle, it can be said that since she was with Xie Tianhua, she seemed to have changed as a person, not only did she not "noisy" when speaking, nor was she competitive, and even her facial expression was much softer.
Seeing Fang Yinuo's transformation after marrying Xie Tianhua, and looking back at her marriage with Xiao Lu, you will find that in fact, her marriage with Xiao Lu broke down, not all because of Xiao Lu's betrayal, but also has a lot to do with herself.
01 Fang Yinuo, who hates Xiao Lu's sentences
Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu were combined because of love, at that time Fang's parents did not agree with Fang Yinuo to marry Xiao Lu, a "poor boy", although he was later moved by Xiao Lu's sincerity and reluctantly accepted him, but from Fang's mother's attitude towards Xiao Lu, it can be seen that Xiao Lu's son-in-law is not easy.
In the face of his parents-in-law, Xiao Lu has always been somewhat humble, sending them abroad to travel, giving them a thousand pieces of festival fees, but only willing to give himself eight hundred to his own mother, Fang Yinuo always said what to do, he also nodded his head in a low voice in response, it can be said that Xiao Lu's nerves are big, and he does not know how to care for people, but he has indeed been carefully maintaining this marriage.
On the other hand, Fang Yinuo seems to have always been dissatisfied with this marriage, before getting pregnant, I don't know how they got along, and the play did not tell too much about the two before, but after giving birth, it seems that the two people are quarrelsome in addition to quarrels.
And Fang Yinuo's personality has always been very strong, can't listen to the opinions of others, and can't tolerate others to say half a "no" word, Xiao Lu belongs to the kind of steel straight man who does not understand romance and care for people, his thoughts will not turn, but he will also do what you say.
Therefore, whenever Fang Yinuo accused and complained about something, the most he said was "sorry, I was wrong", but Xiao Lu seemed to say that everything was wrong, and Fang Yinuo never spoke to him well.
The child was hospitalized due to jaundice, Fang Yinuo had an emotional breakdown, Xiao Lu comforted her that "a child crying more is good for lung capacity", Fang Yinuo was instantly ignited, and angrily said: "Are you talking about human words?" That's how you're a dad? ”
The child was hospitalized, Xiao Lu accidentally said that he missed his mouth, saying that it may be breast-milk jaundice, Fang Yinuo immediately became angry after hearing it, and roared at him uncontrollably: "You say it's my problem?" ”
Fang Yinuo suspected that there was a problem with yueyi, secretly feeding milk powder in the middle of the night, so he asked Xiao Lu to go to Yuelu to explain the seriousness of the matter, Xiao Lu patiently coaxed her to "it's too late today, the children are sleeping, the next day must find her to understand", while preparing to sleep.
Fang Yinuo scolded him with dissatisfaction, "Why do you sleep so actively", Xiao Lu said slightly tiredly, "Wife, I have to work during the day, how can I not sleep?"
After the sister-in-law left, Fang Yinuo had no one to take care of, Xiao Lu personally cooked a bowl of tomato egg noodles for Fang Yinuo, Fang Yinuo tasted it and said angrily: "Who can I count on?" ”
Xiao Lu understood Fang Yinuo's hardships, specially went to buy crucian carp to stew soup for her, but mistakenly bought catfish, looking at the fish that Xiao Lu bought back, Fang Yinuo scolded: That crucian carp milk, catfish milk? Don't buy it later, don't worry about these things! I don't understand that I have to rush to do it!
As a novice father and husband, I think Xiao Lu is not so useless, all the time, he is also doing his best to make a promise to the other party, but sometimes he may really make the wrong force, but he has also tried, but he was all devalued by Fang Yinuo, looking back at every word she said, he could even hear a deep resentment and hatred.
All along, in order to take care of Fang Yinuo's emotions, he rarely returned his mouth, and when Fang Yinuo was emotional, regardless of right or wrong, he would first say "I'm sorry, I was wrong."
Sometimes when Fang Yinuo accused him a lot, he would also feel aggrieved and say, "I've been tired for a day too."
In Fang Yinuo's disgust and accusations, Xiao Lu gradually developed a sense of frustration, and the enthusiasm for taking care of Fang Yinuo at first was also extinguished little by little, and he began to choose the way to escape to relieve the depression in his heart, and the relationship between the two gradually drifted apart in this coldness of no communication.
A woman after giving birth is indeed the most vulnerable time, she needs more companionship and understanding from her husband, but at this time is also the time when couples have the most contradictions, "talk well" four words are simple to say, but it has become the most difficult thing to do after having children.
Language is a magical thing that pales and weak when it expresses love, but is incredibly sharp when it does harm.
Especially when we face the difficulties and difficulties of life, because of emotional loss, because of inner anxiety, because of grievances and bitterness, we should speak well, rather than being quick to speak for a while, to know that every unguarded harsh word we say is constantly overdrawing each other's love and consuming each other's feelings.
02 Fang Yinuo, who spoke well with Xie Tianhua
After Fang Yinuo married Xie Tianhua, his personality suddenly underwent a subversive change.
She no longer has to argue between winning and losing, no longer being aggressive, even if Xie Dan bluntly expresses his dissatisfaction with her in front of her: Fang Yinuo, I don't like you, I don't accept you... I'm not satisfied with what you do.
She still didn't argue, and then sweetly called her "sister"!
In my cognition, with Fang Yinuo's personality, she should have stabbed a sentence very bonelessly, "It was your brother who begged me to marry him, but it was not me who rushed to marry into your family", but she unloaded all the thorns and arrogance in the Xie family, and quietly endured the grievances and dissatisfaction that the Xie family gave her, which was in stark contrast to her previous treatment of Xiao Lu and her mother-in-law and uncle.
Especially when talking to Xie Tianhua, she is always full of tenderness, gentle wind and rain, and the expression on her face is delicate, completely different from the viciousness and strength when talking to Xiao Lu.
This time, she left her fragile and gentle side to her husband, no longer as strong as before, everything was supported by herself, even if Xie Tianhua carried her with Hehe to see Xiao Lu, with her "disgusting" degree towards Xiao Lu, she did not show a hysterical side to Xie Tianhua, but in the face of Xiao Lu, she could never control her vicious side.
Controlling his emotions, talking well, and communicating well may also be the reason why Fang Yinuo can be slowly accepted by his in-laws after remarriage and can also be happy.
If between her and Xiao Lu, there is her patience and understanding of half of the Xie family, I don't know if they will still go to the step of divorce between them, Xiao Lu is wrong, his mistake is too straight man, he is not the kind of person with a delicate mind, so he still can't understand Fang Yinuo's hatred for him after a few years of divorce, in his heart, he did everything he should do, but what Fang Yinuo gave him was always accusations and dislikes.
Tu Lei once said: We are always good at hurting those who love us, because we can't hurt those who don't love us at all.
When venting emotions, it seems that it is only a non-verbal top-of-the-line remark, and it feels like a very small thing, but it may be noisy and really quarrelsome to divorce.
Good marriages are all managed with heart, and speaking well is the most basic cultivation of running a marriage, don't leave the worst emotions and the most cruel words to the people who are closest and dearest.
When two people are together and talk well, the feelings may heat up, and the marriage will have the opportunity to be happy and long-lasting!