From ancient times to the present, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a puzzling problem. Many times, the key to whether a family is harmonious is not the husband and wife, but the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good, the family will often be more harmonious and happy, and the husband who is an intermediary can also work with confidence; the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and the contradictions in the family will be endless, and even affect the feelings of husband and wife, resulting in the breakdown of marriage. The key to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in the way mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, and many times the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not because of the daughter-in-law, but some mother-in-law really can't do things. And the really smart mother-in-law never "intervenes" in these 4 things, and it is difficult for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship to think badly!
Girlfriend Qianqian and her husband have been married for more than three years, the current child is one and a half years old, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is quite good, and she is a model in our circle of friends. When Qianqian first gave birth, her mother-in-law came to the house to help take care of the child and wait for her confinement. When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law first got along, it was very unsmooth, the mother-in-law cooked the meal Qianqian was not used to eating, the children brought by the mother-in-law were not accustomed to her, and the mother-in-law did not like to do housework, she could not stand it... It is difficult for two people at home to say ten sentences with big eyes and small eyes all day. Qianqian has something to find her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law has something to find her son, and she has to make Qianqian's husband anxious. But Qianqian's husband is a person with high emotional intelligence, and he has put a lot of thought into reconciling the relationship between the two individuals. People's hearts are all flesh long, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has gradually eased up over time, and there are more words to say. Gradually Qianqian found that there are also many advantages in her mother-in-law, such as: for the life of their husband and wife, the mother-in-law never says much, no matter how they spend the mother-in-law will not go to too much inquiry, in the child's education issues can also keep up with the times, these advantages make Qianqian more and more trusting of her mother-in-law, the relationship between the two people is getting better and better.
A good mother-in-law relationship is a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so what does a smart mother-in-law never interfere in?
First, do not interfere in the feelings of the small two
In the hearts of some mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law are always outsiders, and they never exchange hearts with their daughters-in-law. We all know that it is very normal for a small couple to quarrel, and since ancient times, there has been a saying that husband and wife "fight at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed". However, some mothers-in-law are too partial to their sons, and whenever the two children have a conflict, they always stand on the side of their sons, and they cannot do a bowl of water to be flat, which will only arouse the anger of the daughter-in-law, making the two people quarrel more and more fierce, and even make the two families unhappy. And the smart mother-in-law from the intervention of the son and the daughter-in-law's emotional problems, in her heart the son and daughter-in-law are adults, they know how to end, the more they ask questions, the easier it is to breed trouble, in the end the small two reconcile themselves but inside and outside are not people, at the same time encountered principled problems choose to help not help relatives, how can such a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not like it?
Second, do not interfere in the life of the little two
Now the life of young people is very different from that of the older generation, and there are many people who do not get along well with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law due to different lifestyles. Many mothers-in-law can't look down on their daughter-in-law's dress, living schedule, living expenses, etc., but they get along happily. Mother-in-law who likes to provoke trouble will always slander her daughter-in-law in front of her son, so that couples who are harmonious after a long time will also have contradictions. But the smart mother-in-law does not interfere in the life of the little two, the young people have the lifestyle of the young people, and some unhealthy lifestyles can make suggestions, but they cannot require the small two to be implemented.
Third, do not interfere in the education of children
The problem of "pain in the next generation" is basically the same for every elderly family. For their grandchildren, granddaughters and many mothers-in-law are too doting, in the daughter-in-law education of children is always too much intervention, many times discipline children become mother-in-law quarrels, because the child's problems lead to the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more and more deeply, and the impact on children is also very large. The smart mother-in-law will respect the daughter-in-law's idea on the issue of the child's education, although she also feels sorry for the child, but for the sake of the child's future and to avoid family conflicts, she will appropriately avoid when the child's mother educates the child, because she knows that the child's mother is the real caregiver of the child, and she cannot interfere too much.
Fourth, do not interfere in the daughter-in-law's mother-in-law's family affairs
Some mothers-in-law have long hands and not only like to ask questions about the little two, but even the daughter-in-law's mother-in-law's family affairs must also intervene. The result of this can only make the daughter-in-law feel that the mother-in-law has too much control, that she has no freedom, and that she has no status in this family. Regardless of whether the mother-in-law is well-intentioned or not, it is easy to cause contradictions between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law if she asks too much about the daughter-in-law's family affairs. And the smart mother-in-law, take care of her own affairs, do more things and talk less, more is better than less, so that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along well.
Xiaobian has something to say: true maternal love is a decent exit, after the child has his own family, he should not ask too much about the child's housework, after all, the owner of the real small family is the child himself. At the same time, in the process of getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both daughter-in-law and mother-in-law must understand each other. As a daughter-in-law, taking care of the mother-in-law is a traditional Chinese virtue and a respect for the mother-in-law; and the truly intelligent mother-in-law should give a certain amount of help in time when the daughter-in-law needs help. A good mother-in-law-daughter relationship requires the joint efforts of two people, so that there will be fewer and fewer contradictions.