There is a kind of person: treat people kindly, but always come alone!
Innovative technology ideas 2022-04-15 22:37
Author: Mizuki Ran
1
Are you such a person:
He is very friendly to people and things, but always likes to be alone.
You usually do not clash with others, including quarrels and actions, and you can properly handle the relationship with everyone. But most of the time you like to be alone and enjoy your time alone.
Then, you may label yourself a "social terrorist", in fact, you are not a social terrorist, you are a "friendly loner".
Being friendly to people is cultivation, being alone is character, and the two are not in conflict.
Being alone doesn't mean you're not good at socializing and acting, but rather you can switch to the talkative mode with ease, it's just that you're no longer interested in being the focus of a group of unrelated people.
You are usually kind to people, can understand most people's behavior, but do not go along with them, do not want to be discussed, do not want to see other people's hilarity.
Although you are very gentle, you do not show it to everyone, and of course not everyone can read your gentleness. So you choose to be gentle and warm to only a handful of people, and the rest of the majority, you remain polite and rational.
2
Human nature has a basic need, that is, it needs the people around it to have a sense of identity with themselves. Therefore, ordinary people need to show themselves through social networking, which is actually a manifestation of inner weakness.
For a person with a strong heart, they no longer need to get a sense of identity from the people around them, what they need more is their own identification with themselves.
So they no longer ask from outside, but rather from within. Solitude is the manifestation of a person's beginning of inward seeking.
There is also a kind of person who belongs to the "extroverted loner". They always show a lively and cheerful, sociable state to the outside world, and always bring everyone all kinds of happiness and positive energy. But every time the song ends, they will enter a state of loneliness.
In fact, their giggles are all an illusion on the outside, just to hide their inner loneliness. Consider the following two scenarios:
At a conference:
You know you don't like him
You also know he doesn't like you
You also know he knows you don't like him
He also knows that you know he doesn't like you
But that doesn't stop you from having fun together.
At a party:
You know that after adding his WeChat, you will not contact him
He also knows that he will not contact again after adding your WeChat
You all know that the most you can do in the future is just a compliment
But that doesn't stop you from adding friends with WeChat
This is modern socializing.
People joined in the crowd and turned around to talk bleakly.
The more lonely people are, the more they like to make themselves busy. Because busyness can make a person escape loneliness for a short time.
When I was a child, I felt that I could consciously save the world, but now I find that the whole world cannot save me. ——A netizen.
People spend their whole lives paying for cognition!
3
In the animal world, weak and small animals have always been in groups, such as chickens, ducks, geese, cows, sheep and horses, and they need to unite to protect themselves.
Powerful animals have always been alone, such as tigers, leopards, jackals and lions, who are always alone.
In college, freshmen and sophomores were in droves. That's because they're still adapting to their new environment, so they instinctively want to organize; while the juniors and seniors are all alone, and that's because they've become "old oilers," so they are independent of each other and keep boundaries.
Being alone doesn't mean being alone, but it's easier for a person to let go of their hearts; in the same way, being lively in a crowd doesn't mean you're recognized, it's more like an external noise.
So there is a saying that goes: loneliness is the carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.
We must also find a law of social development: previously due to regional and conditional constraints, the circle in which each person was often the closest group to him, such as colleagues, peers, classmates, relatives and so on.
And with the development of the Internet, our circles are no longer constrained by the real-world conditions of the region, those who have a common language / like-minded people are more and more like-minded to get together, although you may be completely different industries, or even you are different, but the same "cognition" and "three views" fit you attract each other.
So when we are in meetings/eating, we often find that some people have been holding mobile phones and chatting non-stop, but turning a blind eye to the people they are facing, which is actually not a "mobile phone disease" at all, but it means that he has no interest in you, the "person in front of you", which is the result of the development of the Internet and the performance of the progress of human civilization.
Therefore, when you see a person who is always alone, it does not mean that he does not have his own social circle. It's because you're not in his social circle.
Although you are very close, you are people of two worlds. Different ways do not conspire, and this situation will become more and more common.
4
The more backward the society, the more people are united, such as primitive society, people must unite to resist the invasion of the beast, but the more developed the society, the more independent people are.
The more productive the production, the more obvious the sense of boundaries between people.
There was once a question: Why do many people drive home and like to sit alone in the car for a while and then come home?
Some people say: driving is too tired and needs a break.
Some people say that you need to smoke a cigarette to relieve the stress of the day.
Some people say: I don't like my tiredness to be seen by my wife and children.
There is only one answer, which has won the praise of countless people: the moment you step into the door, you are the father, you are the mother, you are the son of filial piety, you have full of responsibilities, only the moment you sit alone in the car, you are yourself, that is your own world.
Yes, no matter how busy we are, we need time to catch our breath, and then we muster up the courage to persevere until the next moment of respite, and with a little rest, we have to regroup the courage and confidence to face life, which is to live.
Even when we get into marriage, we still want to have a sense of boundaries. Even with a family, we still need our own world. Even with responsibility, we still need to be ourselves.
The basic unit of the future society is no longer the enterprise, nor the family, but the "individual".
Powerful people become complete and independent individuals. Only when a person has achieved personal independence and economic independence is he qualified to talk about love/affection/friendship.
The future marriage will disappear, but the love will always be there; the future family will also disappear, but the family will always be there. Our feelings will no longer have to be bound by these external forms, and society will become more and more pure.
5
Human time can be divided into three parts:
The first one is to accompany the client/leader.
The second part is to accompany the parents/children
The third is to accompany yourself.
The more successful a person is, the more his time goes back two times.
The essence of the struggle is to transfer the time of the first part to the next two. For example, we try to make money just to have more time with our children and families.
And the hardest thing in life is to be able to "accompany yourself". Spending time with yourself sounds simple, but it's actually very hard.
Most people have toiled all their lives, living for others, for their families, but never for themselves.
Imagine that we are desperately making money, making so much money, how much money is spent on ourselves? How much can we spend in our lifetime?
Want to accompany yourself. First of all, you have to understand yourself. We spend our whole lives studying others and understanding others, but few people can understand themselves.
Secondly, you can still be yourself, most of the time, we are playing various roles, we are the boss, we are the leader, we are the employees, we are the father, we are the son, but rarely we are "ourselves".
That is to say: only when we have fulfilled all our social obligations can we have time to be ourselves and be qualified to be ourselves. Being yourself is the most luxurious thing in the world.
The most romantic thing in the world is to meet the best of yourself.
The highest state of love is to fall in love with yourself.
Fighters of life, may you remove your armor and return as a teenager.