All along, many people think that people-to-people communication is through talking, and talking communication is a necessary skill for a person, in fact, when people come to this world, the first way to learn to communicate is not to speak, but body language, and the way of talking and communicating is not what everyone has, after all, there will be some people who are born with such skills.
Due to such misunderstandings, many people are prejudiced against those who do not like to talk and have a quieter personality, and put these people with unsociable and withdrawn labels.
Such misunderstandings make many people doubt themselves and feel confused about their lives.
But slowly, you will find that you are not what others think you are.
Once there was a female reader who told me about her experience, once, she heard someone talking about her, saying that she did not fit in, the personality was lonely, she did not understand, so she found the other party to communicate privately, hoping to resolve the misunderstanding, the other party bluntly said that she always said that there are things to be busy, do not participate in their activities, usually do not talk to them about gossip, she woke up, and explained to the other party that she was because she wanted to take the exam, to seize the time to read books, prepare for the exam, as for talking about gossip, she was just not interested.
Unexpectedly, the other party listened, not only failed to accept her explanation, but misunderstood her more deeply, thinking that she was pretending to be a posture and looked down on them.
At this point, she finally understood that it was not that she was unsociable and lonely, but that she was different and did not conspire.
How deep the interaction between people can be, in addition to looking at interests, we must also look at the three views.
Just as the so-called words are not speculative for more than half a sentence, people with three views are incompatible, and it is difficult to achieve even the most basic mutual respect.
For most people, talking is an innate instinct, in fact, do not like to talk, but also a person's normal physiological response.
With the change of time and environment, people's feelings and experiences of external things will also be different.
When you are young, your thinking is relatively simple, your personality is mostly direct, impulsive, and you always think of what you say about many things, which reflects a person's instinct.
But with age, experience and knowledge, people's thoughts will become deeper, will be more inclined to cultivate their own hearts, with their hearts to feel life, slowly will find that there are many things that do not have to be said, because saying it not only has no positive effect, but will make things worse, there are many things to do more practical and meaningful than to say.
In fact, sometimes, the more you talk, the more you are wrong, not that love to talk is a good thing.
In the same way, it is not a good thing to love people, but it is a bad thing not to love people.
Some people think that with a wide network of contacts, there is one more possibility in life, which also shows that they are capable.
In fact, whether a person has the ability, whether the ability is strong, mainly depends on the individual's talent and ability to recognize people, some people know, can make our lives go more smoothly, but some people know, will only waste our time, and even bring us adverse effects.
People who do not like to interact with people only understand that only if they are strong and excellent can they attract people of the same frequency and bring positive effects to themselves. In the eyes of others, the dislike of interacting with others is actually a person who is concentrating on improving himself.
So, if one day you become unwilling to talk and don't want to socialize with people, don't worry, time will prove it for you.
You become unwilling to talk and don't want to socialize with people, which most likely means these three things:
One: Life is full and the goal is clear
People who don't talk and don't interact with people often form a huge contrast with those who are keen to socialize and talk.
People often feel that the latter is more approachable, so the evaluation of the latter is often better than the former, but in fact, the enthusiasm for socializing and talking also reflects that life is boring, there is no clear life goal, only by participating in collective life and talking to people can you prove your sense of value.
Such people are often afraid of being alone, and once they are alone, they will easily produce anxious emotions, fall into wandering, and even doubt whether they are abnormal.
They are proud to be able to integrate into the collective, when they see someone who does not like to talk and does not want to associate with people, they will look down on others and maliciously speculate about others, in fact, this is a kind of jealousy, jealous of each other can enjoy solitude.
In fact, the reason for such thoughts is often caused by emptiness in the heart, poor spirit, and no purpose in life.
And when a person has a full life and a clear goal, he will spend time and energy on his own things, and there will be no extra time to be enthusiastic about socializing and talking.
Not wanting to talk, not being introverted, not being good at communicating, not wanting to interact with people, and not looking down on others.
Instead, there are more important things to be busy with, and I prefer to be down-to-earth and do practical things.
They understand that only when life is full and the goal is clear, life will get better and better.
The so-called networking and social networking, in the face of interests, are often not worth mentioning.
Grasping the time and making yourself better is the most worth investing in.
Two: A deeper understanding of life and human nature
When you are young, people's thoughts are often relatively simple, once they meet people who are better for themselves, they are easily moved, they have inexplicable trust in each other, they tell people everything, thinking that they are sincere, however, such behavior is not only easy to offend people, but also brings risks to themselves.
The interaction between people, no matter what kind of relationship must have a sense of proportion, some words can not be said.
You feel that you only have a sentence to say, but the listener will associate a lot of side things, no matter how close the relationship, it is difficult to really empathize, even if the other party knows that you are for his own good, but can not accept is not acceptable, does not prevent each other from estrangement.
In the face of misunderstanding, you think that what you say is useful, but you don't know that the reason why others misunderstand you is not because you don't say it, but because you are unwilling to think in a different position.
In the face of slander, you think that you can clear yourself by explaining, but you don't know that it was deliberately done by others, and at this time, your words are pale and powerless.
The more you talk, the more you want to talk to others, the more the other person will hurt you unscrupulously.
You know, the communication between people, talking is only a form of expression, the real communication channel is the heart, is the heart to the heart.
When a person has a deeper understanding of life and human nature, they will become unwilling to talk and do not want to associate with people.
But if you meet someone who can compare your heart to your heart, you will cherish it.
Three: Have the courage to choose the lifestyle you want
Some people associate with people and talk in front of people, just for work, for a living.
A reader once told me that he didn't want to call people brothers and brothers, nor did he always want to eat, drink and have fun, all in order to maintain personal connections and stabilize his work.
Some people say that society is sophisticated, when a person lacks confidence, in front of people there is no courage to be themselves, can only go with the flow, whether it is keen on socializing, or rhetoric, are for life, and has nothing to do with personality.
But capable and talented people often have the courage to be their true selves.
You feel that others are not good at words, but in fact, the other party feels that there is no need to waste time and energy on this kind of ineffective social interaction.
If they want to get what they want, they will use their talents to conquer each other and make the other party willingly help and facilitate.
Benefits from so-called connections are more likely to be acquired with their own abilities.
In fact, in real life, if a person can rely on his own ability to get what he wants, how can he try to participate in various interpersonal relationships and say all the good things in front of people? It's just for the sake of life, forcibly brushing the sense of existence.
If you become unwilling to talk or associate with people, it means that you have the courage to choose the lifestyle you want and dare to face your true self.
epilogue:
Some people, because they don't want to talk or interact with people, when they are misunderstood by others, they will be anxious to explain to others to prove that they are not what the other party says they are.
In fact, don't worry, you are not wrong.
It's just that everyone has different values and a different understanding of things.
Although people live in this world and inevitably have to deal with all kinds of people, not all people deserve deep friendship, because not all people can compare hearts to hearts.
People are selfish, and they are accustomed to judging a person's words and deeds from their own point of view, and they do not care about the feelings of others at all.
If you want to live to be the same you in the minds of others in order to cater to others, you will only lose the original you.
A person is not even himself, how to live his own life?
When a person dares to be himself, he can keep his original intention and become a better self, and those misunderstandings will return to silence with the passage of time.