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The 7-year-old daughter wanted to buy a lipstick for her mother, but she couldn't operate the mobile phone and was anxious to shed tears.
When Dad found out, he remembered that he hadn't given his wife any gifts for five or six years, and he felt guilty.
So, the father and daughter chose gifts together.
The mother was very surprised and happy after receiving the gift, saying that her daughter would take care of her feelings and emotions when she grew up.
Listening to parenting: Parents who can talk well can easily raise happy children - Shanbo education
Mom also said that her husband is very stressed at work, often travels very hard, and it is understandable that he has not sent gifts for several years. In the end, Dad said that he felt that a family still needed a sense of ceremony.
We know that a welcoming family is essential to the growth of a child.
As education experts have said, "A harmonious husband and wife relationship is the most important gift for a child's growth." ”
Couples with harmonious relationships can create a positive, motivated environment.
Parents can tolerate each other, take care of each other, and what is passed on to their children is full of love and understanding.
Therefore, parents with self-discipline, harmony, and eagerness to learn can shape a physically and mentally healthy child.
Listening to parenting: Parents who can talk well can easily raise happy children - Shanbo education
01 Self-disciplined parents, children also follow the self-realization
Confucius said in the Analects of the Zilu: "Although his body is upright, he does not obey orders." His body is not righteous, although he orders but does not obey. ”
Parents first cultivate themselves into a straight towering tree, a child like a small sapling, in order to copy according to the appearance of their parents, grow into a self-disciplined and excellent appearance.
Dan Dan, a little girl who is still in kindergarten, tells stories with her mother every night in her mother's friend group, not only gaining her mother's fans, but also gaining a number of loyal little fans.
Friends all asked Dan Dan's mother: When other children are not speaking thoroughly, how to educate Dan Dan so well?
Dan Dan's mother said that it was because she insisted on parent-child reading for several years that her daughter could vividly tell every story and recite a Series of Tang poems.
She is an extremely strict and self-disciplined mother, in her spare time, she reads and writes, reads and tells stories with her children, learns to arrange flowers, learns to dance, and plays games with Dan Dan.
In fact, educating children is not to let parents give up on themselves, but to give up a lot of bad habits to grow with children.
Listening to parenting: Parents who can talk well can easily raise happy children - Shanbo education
The educator Spencer said in Pedagogy: "Remember that the purpose of your discipline should be to cultivate a person who can have self-control, not someone who needs to be regulated by others." ”
Self-disciplined parents, trying to do better, will inevitably deeply affect the child's three views. The biggest truth about educating children is not what you teach your children, but what your children see you do.
On the contrary, parents who cannot do self-discipline, life has no goals, and the education is scattered, there is no pursuit of life, just like a driver does not know where to drive, the road ahead is confused.
Self-discipline is not just to do boring tasks, but to make a list of personal love pursuits and recreational times that can make people physically and mentally healthy, and finally form habits.
Children's words and deeds usually imitate their parents, there is a pair of self-disciplined parents, the child sees their efforts, naturally not much worse.
Listening to parenting: Parents who can talk well can easily raise happy children - Shanbo education
02 Parents who can speak well cultivate children who are happier
There is a saying in Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina: "Happy families are always similar, but unhappy families have their own misfortunes."
Parents in happy families raise their children well, and one of the similarities is that they can talk well in their daily lives.
The neighbor's little boy, Cong Cong, is 13 years old this year and is very good. I grew up watching him grow up, which is what people think of as "someone else's child."
The daily conversations between Cong Cong's parents are slow and methodical, and they are said peacefully. The couple also has plenty of patience in educating their children.
They will say to the child, "Baby, can you do your mother a favor?" "Great, Satoshi has done a great job!" Such politeness or words of encouragement.
If Cong Cong had something wrong with a certain behavior, they would not criticize it aggressively, but would say kindly: "Think about it, how did we teach you to do it before?" Or "I don't approve of you..., because..."
Parents are very patient to explain to Cong Cong that there are rules for a thing, objectively express their views, and then leave room for children to think independently and compare, rather than forcefully asking what children must do.
Today's cong, sunny and self-motivated, has a good psychological quality, whether it is to participate in any exams or competitions inside or outside the school, never because of nervous emotions and failure.
When a child does not have to worry about being scolded from an early age, and firmly believes that he can get warmth and encouragement from his parents, then the child's brain is not disturbed by the negative information of fear and indifference, and he can focus all his energy on his own development.
Children who grew up living in an environment where their parents quarreled and gave orders to themselves grew up either violent or cowardly. Because what kind of parents will raise what kind of children.
Parenting is actually very simple, parents can talk to their children well, communicate with their children in a consultative tone, and let the children feel respected, so that they can cultivate a confident and happy person with a sense of happiness.
Listening to parenting: Parents who can talk well can easily raise happy children - Shanbo education
03 Parents who love to learn, children also have an enterprising spirit
Parents are the most important teachers in a child's life, and their words and deeds are like an invisible hand that pulls the child's every move.
Tang Yu grew up from a poor family, studied nursing in the secondary school, and was assigned to the provincial top three hospitals as a nurse after graduation. Even if she arrived at a good unit, Tang Yu did not relax her study, first self-study to obtain an adult undergraduate, and then passed the layers of assessment step by step according to the hospital regulations, and finally became the head nurse.
While studying in the hall, she also completed the marriage and baby step by step. During the child's primary school, Tang Yu has obtained an adult undergraduate degree and is studying for the hospital examination.
Every night, the don will take the children to watch cartoons together and then start learning. The child sees his mother reading and writing, and also consciously completes the homework assigned by the teacher, and if he does not understand, he will take the initiative to seek a solution from his mother.
On weekends, the don't take the children out to play or visit various museums to increase their knowledge.
In this way, when Tang Yu was promoted to the head nurse, the child was also admitted to a well-known university with excellent results. The child's learning does not seem to have bothered the cousin.
Later, the child mentioned in an essay "My Parents": Seeing my mother study hard every day, I am not embarrassed to be unmotivated.
The French scholar Podas said: "People's concepts and standards are deeply influenced by parents and are rooted in their minds. ”
Parents have a direct influence on their children. Parents' behavior attitude towards life, the child from a young age to hear and see implanted into the concept, slowly integrated into the child's bone marrow, thereby shaping the child's three views.
There is a Chinese proverb that "the dragon gives birth to the dragon, the phoenix gives birth to the phoenix, the son of the mouse will punch a hole", if the parents are okay with the mobile phone to chat and watch the video, do not expect the child to consciously go to see the writing homework, can only be twisted, so that the child can not concentrate.
Smart parents will definitely insist on learning in the critical period of their children's growth, create a good learning atmosphere for their children, and children will also be active.
Listening to parenting: Parents who can talk well can easily raise happy children - Shanbo education
04 written at the end
Educator Inoue said: "The words and deeds of parents are the best teaching materials for their children, and first-class parents create first-class children." ”
In other words, smart parents can be good role models for their children.
If parents want their children to be both good character and good learners, they must lead by example. The process of children's growth is also the process of parents learning to be parents, excellent parents, so that children benefit for a lifetime.
You want the child to get up without ink, do not procrastinate, you must first manage yourself, let the child know the importance of the rules through behavior, and instill the child with a sense of self-discipline.
Family members can talk well, and harmony, children experience warmth, the heart is full of enough happiness, will be full of enthusiasm for learning and life, even if they encounter difficulties, because of a positive attitude, naturally can be easily resolved.
In the eyes of your children, you are the best parent, and your children will be eager to learn and forge ahead with you as an example.
May parents use the power of good example to give their children a better future.
Author ┃ Sunshine
Edit┃丄學号
Source ┃ Shanbo Education - Focus on parenting education