Opening: There is a word called "transfer" in concentration camps, and in concentration camps, people who are transferred are often more likely to die, and officers refer to whoever dies. At the time of 90... people will die. Why are so many people surviving in concentration camps in this environment? The prisoners are not afraid to die after panicking, but there is no point in them dying like this, but experienced people like the author tell everyone that if you want to live, you must insist on shaving your face every day, look younger, look like you can work, look young and can work in concentration camps, shave your face every day, and shave your face every day no matter what
People still became numb after those panics passed. Everyone began to become numb. All this torture left them indifferent
People with a rich spiritual life will live much easier in their inner lives, and those who don't beat you will make you stronger. Author Frankl, "Love" is the highest goal of human existence. At the age of 67, he began to learn to fly an airplane,
First: Human nature in the concentration camps has produced two poles
- Human nature in concentration camps produces bipolar indifference, inferiority, irritability, anger, anger, and is not everyone like this?
- There is a person who will walk around comforting others, comforting others every day, illustrating the attitude to life that chooses their own attitude and way of behaving in any situation, even masochism, and even depression. There is one thing that can never be taken away by others.
In any state, you still have the right to choose the right to choose your own attitude and behavior. And curiosity "Curiosity", many numb people because of lack of curiosity, lack of curiosity people do not have a sense of happiness, curiosity will bring happiness,
Fear begins to numb after the passing, for example: a child's toe frostbite Doctor with tweezers add down Everyone has no feelings, looking at who is dead has no feelings, they are numb, used to death, can accurately predict, there is a person whose shoes are broken, crying loudly, which means that he has given up the desire to survive, if a person recklessly takes out a cigarette to smoke, it means that he gives up himself for a pound, which can bring us a sense of happiness, and the loser suffers from a rich spirit of the heart, and the pain will be much less.
"Love" is the highest goal pursued by human beings, spiritual life and artistic life. The digestion of the concentration camp is: fish from the bottom, scoop a spoon from the bottom of the pot, the concentration camp really can't control its own destiny.
What keeps people alive is not hope, but meaning, and when there is a lot of hope in your heart, it will make your pain continue
The standard prisoner is the prisoner of thought, not in prison, and the prisoner of thought will resent and beat people and complain
For example: people who hope more are suffering more, and the most people die around Christmas in concentration camps, because the hope is broken, and slowly their body's immunity declines, multiplying,
Curiosity brings us happiness, people without curiosity will be numb, he thinks he knows everything, people without curiosity will become standard prisoners, resentment Adults complain that all I do is not worthy of all the pain I have suffered. Thank you fate for hitting me hard, for having wasted my previous life and always talking to a tree before.
What keeps people alive is not the hope of breaking the resistance and dying, but the meaning of life, which encompasses life from birth to death.
- The standard prisoner resents violence and hits people
- Prisoner of Spiritual Freedom: Gaining Happiness.
Example: A female prisoner, Lins, said at the same time: "The previous life was wasted by me", she found meaning in a tree,
Second: Meaning Therapy: Frankl creates the true meaning of seeking one's own life at work,
The hardest part is the values: our direction
The direction of life, the direction of survival, why or what you want, different values determine the length of your life. The happiness that is gained because of what is gained is limited,
Goalless Depression, anxiety disorder when you have more than two goals, are you for fame, money or for the meaning of life, why would you do something? Depression has no goals More than two goals, anxiety disorder when a person has a lot of goals, meaning therapy What do you think mean to yourself?
Frankl Meaning Therapy Focuses on the future, allowing patients to re-recognize the meaning of life, we often only see pain, can not see the meaning of life, let him realize the meaning of life, why live?
Third: The author says that there are three ways to find the meaning of life
- By starting a job or doing something, you find the meaning of your life and know the meaning of life
- Through something or in the face of someone, the old man who finds the meaning of life and carries the flowerpot,
- Adopt a certain attitude when enduring some kind of inevitable suffering,
Fourth: Teacher Yang shares the topic of meaning, excerpts for the original text, because it is too good, every sentence is a classic, so the original text of Teacher Yang is exposed to everyone to learn together, so that each of us who sees the article feels that life is very meaningful and valuable.
- Frankl argues that before he went to prison, he felt that when his teacher taught meaning therapy, he had not yet deeply understood, and he felt that how could man sacrifice himself for the sake of meaning, how could he sacrifice himself for a belief that sounded very empty and invisible?
- As a result, when he went to prison, after two years of this hellish torture, and still stubbornly survived, he suddenly admitted that human life really needs a meaning.
- After Frankl got out of prison, after he escaped, he went to the United States, and he established a system of meaning therapy, this great system. And he surveyed college students in the United States,
1) He surveyed 8,000 college students and found that his question was: What are the things that are very important to him? 16% chose to make money, while 78% chose to discover the purpose and meaning of life with their primary goal.
2) And he did a further investigation, and he found that when a person graduates from high school, only 5% of American college students really understand the meaning of life, while 95% do not understand the meaning of life.
3) And in 20 years, when these people reach their 40s or so, those 5 percent hold 95 percent of the power and wealth.
Fifth: So what are values? Values are our direction, and values refer to our forward and survival mentality.
- Mentality is the direction of people, is the important value on which you live.
Why are you alive? Are you for your reputation or for money, or for your children, or for the sake of making the world a better place because of your existence? Different values will determine the length of your life.
1) For example, let's say there is a local tycoon who believes that the value of his life is to be happy, so he constantly takes money to buy happiness throughout his life. At first, you may buy a land, then buy a house, then buy fashion, buy seafood, buy cruise ships, buy and buy everything, and then you have everything at home. And then he started buying pleasure, he went to drugs, and then he went on adventures.
Now I have major depression.
- Because the happiness he gets in order to get it is limited,
- So his happiness is limited,
- The value of life is also limited.
Sixth: the existence of goals and the length of life and values
1) When a person has a lot of goals, when anxious, tangled, and conflicted, you will get anxiety disorder.
2) When you don't have a goal in mind, you get depression. So man's emotions are like a pendulum, and when it is empty, he will get depression,
3) When he has more than two goals, it gets anxiety.
example:
1) For example, I want to make more money and don't want to spend effort, only two goals, I want to buy the best cucumber, it is the cheapest, this is the contradictory entanglement, then this relatively contradictory two or more goals will cause you anxiety.
2) Then there are two kinds of human happiness,
- One is the happiness that is obtained because of what is gained,
- One is the happiness that comes from giving. The happiness that is obtained because of what is obtained is limited, because the gain is limited.
But if a person's goal is to give, dedication is endless, so his pursuit of life is not stopped, he will always have passion, always have a goal.
Seventh: So the psychological interpretation of personality, personality is mentality plus habits.
A': Mindset is your direction,
B': Habit is your pace,
C': So personality encompasses your mindset, your values, your direction, and your behavior habits. Therefore, the way of behavior and mentality that you are used to is your character, so we say that character determines the fate of people.
Eighth: So how old is the child when he begins to form a correct value?
- So first of all, when the child is six or seven years old, he will ask me where I came from?
- When he was thirteen or fourteen he would ask me where I was going.
- Who would he ask me when he was twenty-five? These three philosophical propositions of life determined his values. Where I come from determines my heritage, where I go determines who I will work and live for, who I determine how many pounds I have, and what I will be prepared to do for others.
So the purpose of life is not how intact I am, but how connected I am to the world. And if you are dedicated to the world, a relationship of giving, you will have value, fulfillment, and passion for the rest of your life, because dedication will make you feel your presence.
Ninth: So why do people have values? What values and meanings do Frankel believe is right? The right meaning, the right values are ambitious rather than small, giving rather than taking, altruistic rather than self-interested. If your goal is to be completely willing to gain your own value on the basis of serving others, you will live a very happy life.
Then frankel's study found that
- If a person does not have the right goal, he will have all kinds of problems. Studies have found that those who are suicidal, depressed, anxious, and psychologically depleted have a common problem, can not see the future, do not have a life goal, can not clearly understand the meaning and responsibility of life. Then they think that nothing is meaningless and that they cannot get anything out of life. People without a purpose in life are particularly prone to indulging their depravity, escaping from reality, and often reminiscing about the past.
- Then the study also found that if a person's goal is for himself, he will live meaninglessly, and he will live meaningfully for others.
- Example: Psychologists also did an experiment, they went to a nursing home, to do an experiment for the elderly in the nursing home. This is the elderly on the third and fourth floors of the nursing home, and the elderly in each room send a pot of flowers. But the old man on the fourth floor was selected by this nurse for them, moved the flowers for them, and helped them water the flowers every day. The old people on the third floor asked them to choose and move flowers by themselves, and they must be responsible for watering the flowers. These elderly people all have the same chronic disease, all of them are similar in age, and after two years of service, it is found that the mortality rate of the elderly on the fourth floor is 1.5 times that of the elderly on the third floor. Because they have nothing to do every day, they don't have to take any responsibility, they are all served by others. The old man on the third floor has to move flowers, choose flowers, and exchange experiences with others, and he is responsible for feeding this flower, so he has a special responsibility every day to observe, to study, to work for that flower.
- Research shows that our true kindness and filial piety to a person is to make his life worthwhile, meaningful, and responsible. Some female comrades are particularly virtuous at home, a leader outside the home, but also particularly gentle, her husband will commit suicide or her husband will have an affair, will make a divorce, will find a fox spirit, why? Because they did not make this man responsible at home, this man felt that it was superfluous and useless at home. Therefore, the man's sense of responsibility for the family is cultivated through his housework.
Tenth: Who are you and what are you?
- If you start by saying that I am a teacher and that I am a doctor, you are a person who needs a job. You will first determine that as a teacher, what kind of responsibility should I accomplish, what kind of mission should I complete. What kind of responsibility should I assume as a doctor.
- If you first say that I am the father of a child, your words determine that you are first responsible for your child.
- If you say I'm my mother's child, you might emphasize that you're still a mom's child.
- If you say I'm a prodigal son, I'm a happy man, I'm a free man, I'm a man who can do whatever he wants.
How you think about yourself actually determines the values in your heart, and what you think is the most important. But it doesn't matter how others think of you, in fact, your academic qualifications, titles, and your titles only determine how others view you and how you see yourself.
Psychologist Frank found that you give yourself an experiment,
- If you were a dying patient now, and you felt like you only had three days, one day, one hour to live, what would you choose to do? In the past, in our Chinese tradition, after this person became terminally ill, no one told him to hide it. But the international standard is that the patient has the right to know, you should tell him that you have about three months, you have about ten days, you have about a few days, let the patient adjust his subjective initiative to decide how to live.
- Nietzsche was also an existentialist philosopher, and he himself thought that if one understood why one lived, one could bear all the problems of how to live. What management methods, working methods, and learning methods we usually emphasize are all studying how to live, but in fact, what is more important is why they live. Once I was lecturing, a classmate immediately added me WeChat, and after adding my WeChat, I was always asked to help them recommend which psychology books to read to solve their own problems.
Eleventh: There are no books that can solve your problems, you need to change your habits and change your values.
- The first value you need to change first is that you need to be responsible for yourself, and the way to be responsible is that you have the right ideals and goals, and you need to persevere in a habit of behavior. The results of life are not caused by others, but by their own values. The value of love is dedication, and the meaning of love is dedication. You are willing to give others care, to give others companionship, to give others attention, to give them what they need, to give each other to gain love, to be in a heavenly relationship.
If we ourselves are willing to think that the value of a person's life, the meaning of life is to dedicate their talents, and change the world, change the surroundings, and obtain their own fullness. He is willing to give, to learn more, to think more, not to complain there, to get more here, to ask more.
2: Do you see life as a game or a story, or a tragedy, or a mission, or an adventure, or a nirvana, or altruism, or mutual use, or nothing? These different answers determine what meaning you give to your life.
3: Life has no meaning in the first place, and you need to give it meaning. For example, eating three meals a day, not rice on white noodles, are you bothered? Why get up this morning to eat two steamed buns instead of one? If you want to lose weight, you will eat half a steamed bun, if you want to give a three-hour lecture today, you are willing to eat two steamed buns, but also add a piece of beef, which is why some people would rather eat it than eat it.
If you are a psychiatrist, you have to face mental patients every day, may attack you, you must eat meat sandwich steamed bread today, you have to eat more than two, otherwise the patient can push you down as soon as he says it.
4: Then the psychologist Adler believes that when people suffer failures, setbacks, and suffering, they will have such a question, twelfth: What is the meaning of life?
Adler, they believed, that everyone's life is bound by three kinds.
First, we can only live on Earth at the moment, and the territory of the Earth is limited.
Second, we don't live alone, there are other species and people around us.
Third, human beings have two sexes, and if man does not have love and marriage, it is impossible to pass on his life.
So these three themes of life determine our profession, our tasks, and our missions.
First, since the earth is finite, we have to work.
Second, since humans on Earth are not just ourselves, but also other human races and other species, we need relationships, we need to cooperate, we need to share.
The third is because we need to pass on our lives, we need to reproduce, we need love. All the efforts will be rewarded, all men and women, all the opposite sex to get along is balanced, it is impossible for us to close ourselves from time to time, I am too cool alone, how am I alone, it is very difficult.
Thirteenth: Then a person's different reactions to three subjects reflect his different values and his different results.
How you treat life, life will reward you.
- If you are willing to love others, work hard, be willing to make friends, be willing to dedicate your talents and help your friends, and help others. You will gain friendship, friendship will gain happiness, you will have love, you will reproduce, you will have your own heirs.
- Because you are willing to work hard you will gain experience, get rewards, get value, so all your willingness will get what you are willing to get.
- When a person only wants to give, others can feel it, and when a person only thinks about others, the other party can feel it. Because interpersonal relationships are interactive, exchanged, and influenced, there is a proverb that says what? Never associate with someone who never suffers.
- If you love yourself by loving others, you love 100 people, you will have 100 people to love you, if you only love yourself, only one person in your life loves you, that is yourself.
Thirteenth: Frankl's theory of meaning holds that the meaning of human life lies in the establishment of a healthy, constructive, helpful, and dedicated connection between oneself and others, so one should establish a connection with one's surroundings.
- Maslow's theory of needs, he believes that the motivation of life is the need, then Maslow believes that the motivation for life growth is the need, he believes that the need for people from low to high, the minimum need is the physiological need, then the need for security, then the need to belong, then the need for love, and then the need for self-realization, so there is a stage where everyone is pursuing self-realization.
- Freud believed that the driving force of life is desire,
- The behaviorist school believes that the driving force of life is conditioned reflexes.
- But later, when Adler studied, he found that when people meet their own needs, or through what to meet their own needs, it is actually dedication. The highest state of man is devotion. When a person can help others through his own knowledge and talents, and let others change, he will have an incomparable sense of accomplishment.
Fourteenth: Then some people say, why can't we think for ourselves?
Man does not perish for himself. But when one thinks only of oneself, what results do you find? You will find that your path in life is getting narrower and narrower. Everyone remembers that when the reform and opening up was just now, there was a person named Pan Xiao who wrote an article for the China Youth Magazine, why is the road of life getting narrower and narrower? At that time, she asked the question, am I for everyone or for everyone? But psychological research shows that first I am for everyone, and then everyone is for me, why? If you don't sow the seeds, you don't reap, and where is autumn and spring upside down?
Fifteenth: So how old is it that man begins to explore the meaning of life?
- It is from the age of 5. Don't tell your child about the meaning of life until you are 5 years old, because that will cause anxiety.
- After the age of 5, the child will ask you if anyone will die? Where do you go when you die? And then at the age of 5, if he asks this question, you first give him a metaphorical way, take him to see a bonsai, take him to climb a mountain, take him to see a big tree. You see the leaves are green and it absorbs oxygen, it blossoms and bears fruit, then it falls leaves, and in the autumn it falls leaves, what does the fallen leaves become? Will it disappear? Without it, it becomes fertilizer and nourishes the roots, and the roots nourish the trunk, and the trunk grows new leaves, and life is such a cycle. And in each link of the cycle, we must do our own responsibilities and obligations.
Sixteenth: Therefore human life is also divided into two parts,
- It is the flesh part and the life part. The flesh eats every day for the sake of life at night, which transforms it into various nutrients and delivers it to the life force. So when a person dies, his flesh dies, and the vitality is still there. In the DNA of your sons, daughters, nephews, other human relatives. So that blood donation, that organ donation, is to spread your life to other places. So man's life is long, and man's flesh is short. Man does not want to end his own flesh, but to use his flesh to serve life. For example, my life now needs to climb mountains, and the flesh is very lazy. The flesh grinds and says, Oh, this sleep, alas, eat more cake, alas, eat another sugar. This is just a luxury of the flesh,
- And life does not need, life needs exercise, life needs moderation, life needs reproduction. So the flesh sometimes obeys the call of the life force.
- Adler, then, argues that there are three situations in childhood that are most likely to give life the wrong meaning.
First: it is an organ defect, that is, a disability,
Second: he is arrogant, and the second is arrogant, because his parents are always pampered, he thinks that he is the center of the world, he thinks that he should be top-notch, and he should think of everyone else for me.
Third: it is neglected. They always feel inferior, they always feel that they are the losers of life, so they will give up on themselves. The third is ignored, parents are busy and do not accompany the child, then the child will feel that it is useless to be social when they grow up, unity is useless, sharing is useless, anyway, no one pays attention to me.
Even if a person suffers in childhood, such as when his parents are divorced or widowed, bereaved, or disabled, or have a poor family, one-third of the people will still turn grief into strength.
- The poorer the family, the harder he worked and struggled as he grew up. So despite the traumatic childhood, there are still one-third of people who will be more sublimated.
- A third of people will use the attitude that life will treat me how life treats me.
- Then there is also a third kind of person, and one-third of the people will think of revenge. Since life is unjust to me, I am also unjust to him.
Seventeenth: So we can't choose suffering, but how to deal with this suffering, we will have three choices,
- It is to turn grief into strength to sublimate, because I have suffered in the past, and I will make more people not suffer in the future.
- Or I'm going to take revenge,
- Or I want to be indifferent. So choice is an attitude that we can choose. So do you think a smooth life is meaningful, or a bumpy life is meaningful? It depends on how you see you, how you treat you, how you experience.
Eighteen: What is the way to discover the meaning of life, Frankl believes?
The first way, you create a job yourself or do something. Let's say you once took your child to hike the Great Wall, you walked across the Great Wall, you took your child across the Yellow River. Or maybe it's because of an idea from a child who once helped you make a cake and helped you make a breakfast. Then you are at home, if the baby is as big as a beep, he can be responsible. For example, if the floor of the house is to be dragged and the little fish in the house are fed, then the shoes in the house are responsible for tidying up, and he has to take on his own responsibilities in this family. Then such a responsibility will make him feel that his life is particularly meaningful, because of his presence, Mom and Dad can save energy.
So whenever we ask children to learn to be considerate of others, to have the ability to work, and to have the ability to see, we pretend to be stupid, pretend to be sick, pretend to be stupid, and we say that we are exhausted. The baby said I'll help you carry it. Alas, I am thirsty and dying, so pour some water for you. Then you praise him alas you are awesome, so what does your rod come from? Your praise does not come from his beauty, because beauty is not his own acquisition, it is innate. Don't praise your child for being beautiful, but reward him. The sense of accomplishment that comes from accomplishing something himself is more important than appreciation. Therefore, the appreciation of others is not important, and the sense of accomplishment that he obtains by personally completing a thing is extremely important.
The second way, then you have experienced certain wonderful things. For example, photography, you have seen snowy mountains, you have seen sunrises, you have seen sunsets, you have photographed rime in the cold wind, you have loved someone, then this process allows you to discover the meaning of life. Some people have a hard time falling in love with someone all their lives, and they often ask your father and mother what they do when they are in love and when they are in love. How much do you earn? How big is your house? These are not love, it is buying things, picking goods.
The third way is to endure suffering. Why should people suffer? Because 99% of suffering brings 1% happiness. If you want to eat a particularly delicious meal, you have to cook, and the person who cooks and eats it himself is much happier than the person who eats it when he buys ready-made rice. So if one knows that the suffering we experience can be exchanged for meaning, then suffering also has meaning. So life has no meaning in the first place, and you need to give it meaning.
Nineteenth: Then mankind is destined to encounter a triple tragedy,
One is pain,
The second is guilt,
The third is death. But human beings have an instinct that turns suffering into fulfillment. It is because of pain that there is achievement, because of guilt that one perfects oneself, and because life is short that one is responsible.
Twentieth: There are two kinds of human happiness
- The happiness gained in life is limited and there is no end to it
- The endless happiness of the life of dedication and the endless risk of endless pursuit of life is endless.
Mentality + direction equals personality Used to the way of behavior Forming character Habit is your pace,
- Where do I go, who do I work for What is my responsibility: the right meaning Altruism is not self-interested dedication is not what is taken, there is no future in sight, they think that nothing is meaningless, if a person's goal is only for himself, he will be meaningless, true kindness to a person is to make him live a valuable and meaningful person in charge,
- Who am I, I am a doctor, what kind of responsibility should I fulfill, I am my mother's child, I should complete the responsibility, how do you see yourself, how many pounds I myself should accomplish, what kind of responsibility should I complete, determine how many pounds I have to do, how you look at yourself, determine your values. Academic titles determine how others perceive you
If you have an hour left to live, you plan to do something, why you live, you will know why you are alive
The endlessness of devotion
Suicidal depression can not see the future, can not be clear about the meaning of their own life often avoided, a person's goal is only for themselves, he will live meaningless,
One understands why one lives to change values
- You need to be responsible for yourself, have the right ideals and goals, the value of love is dedication, you are willing to contribute When you think about others, others can feel it, give to each other, in order to get love, dedicate their talents will be willing to learn more, he will not complain
- Life is meaningless and needs you to give it meaning, such as eating rice noodles every day, why you think it is difficult to eat, you still have to eat
Adler believed that the highest state of man is to give and dedication to satisfy one's own needs. Through dedication to obtain self-need, people will gain a sense of happiness when helping others,