What can be slowly cultivated is not love, but habits. What can be obtained over time is not feelings but feelings. - Anon
I want to talk to you about a "different couple" in the show business circle, although there is no name for husband and wife, but the lives of two people are more than most real couples.
After living together for more than 20 years and even raising a 15-year-old daughter together, they still have not chosen a marriage certificate to bind each other.
The couple is Wu Junru and Chen Kexin. One is a comedian and the other is a famous director, equal and evenly matched.
When we ordinary people enter marriage and family, what do we really choose?
The couple is proving to us that not everyone is living according to the rules, and that the worldly bondage is more beneficial than following what they want in their hearts.
It is absolutely fair to first become the person you want to be, and then to give the other party a good lover.
The biggest winner in marriage must be to be each other's love partner, not to live together.
1. Special love to special you
How much suffering and misfortune there is in marriage. And this woman is not only humorous and witty in her career, but also better at the maintenance of marriage.
Wu Junru, who has a double harvest of career and love, what secrets are at ease?
Most people who don't play their cards according to the routine have their own personalities, and it turns out that this is indeed the case.
A marriage contract, when getting married, it is necessary to go to the civil affairs bureau to apply for a marriage certificate, what? Wu Junru actually did not!
He and Chen Kexin have been in love for 20 years and raised a child together, and the children are 15 years old! I didn't even get married, and I hardly heard of their gossip!
What is discussed is still quite influential, a different view of marriage and love.
Remember many of the comedy films that Wu Junru made in the early years?
Chen Kexin once lamented to Wu Junru that she liked her role in various movies: "If you are a role in the play, it is great! ”
Wu Junru, who has been playing the role of a comedian in comedy for many years, is embarrassed by such praise, but he is more happy that the other party can see his true advantages.
Wu Junru talked about the first time she met Chen Kexin in the interview, and what attracted her was his inner talent.
Chen Kexin also understood that the woman he wanted was not a flower in a greenhouse, but a vain appearance.
The director's vision has always been poisonous and sensitive, in this industry and dealing with all kinds of people, how can you not see the difference between Wu Junru?
She was the most special presence in his eyes.
The two did not tie their marriage in the form of law.
A woman enters a marriage, once in her life, and what she wants most is to put on a wedding and let everyone witness her happiness.
In the blink of an eye, 15 years have passed, and Wu Junru's children have grown to 15 years old, but they have to be surprised.
People who do not have a marriage license or a wedding, but have spent most of their lives together, have long believed that the other party is the person they want to spend their lives with.
Chen Kexin's public account has not posted any content, but in the profile column it reads:
"A father, a husband, a son, an older brother..."
The person who originally wanted to give you love did not need much ritual witness, and he was willing to guard you for life.
He will automatically be willing to go from a childish little boy to a mature man who can withstand the wind and rain for her.
Some people say that without a marriage license, are they not afraid of the other party cheating and leaving? Instead, they are glad that they have more freedom.
This kind of free behavior, presumably only Wu Junru and his wife can do it.
For us ordinary people, especially in recent years, the divorce rate has been high.
We have been lying flat in love and marriage, watching them fall in love hand in hand for 20 years, and then looking at their own lives in a mess.
We should reflect on some of the problems that exist in ourselves.
Wu Junru is a comedian, Chen Kexin is a famous director, and when a layman listens, it is difficult to separate a pair.
Careers go hand in hand, with common topics and experiences.
There is a similar outlook on life in life, marriage does not need a paper bondage, we can be as dashing as ourselves.
It sounds counterintuitive, and we ordinary people need courage to even break up.
Because we don't have enough confidence.
Whether it was a man or a woman who left first, Wu Junru's self-confidence and uniqueness could no longer be found by Chen Kexin from other women.
What can we have that others cannot replace?
If you want to be the only one of others, you must have something that others can never replace.
This is what it means to be confident and confident.
Because you are special enough, I want to give special love to special you.
2. Independence makes us better
Are Wu Junru and Chen Kexin sweet? No, they don't have much of a young man's and woman's passion for romance, but in life, just the right amount of rationality must be greater than sensuality.
Breaking through the shackles of secular rules, it is already beyond the reach of ordinary people, why not have more romance and passion to maintain?
When Chen Kexin proposed, Wu Junru thought of the feelings between the two, and she only hoped that the two people would be together because of love.
Only the responsibility and feelings for each other that arise from "love" can keep a long-term relationship from withering and withering.
When in love, you can be emotional, and two people living together are responsible for two families behind it.
If any deviation from either side will not let them go on for 20 years, Chen Kexin's marriage proposal makes Wu Junru more determined that he is not wrong.
To love each other is to be willing to share responsibilities, exercise responsibility, and be willing to help each other.
Unilateral love, these only exist in the children's home games, even if one person does their best, the other party does not change anything, the relationship will collapse sooner or later.
Love can sometimes be a matter for one person, but love for each other must be a matter for two people.
After falling in love, all kinds of things are faced by two people together.
We see a lot of one-sided love in our lives, and even if we are barely together, sooner or later we will be separated.
Love without a sense of responsibility is a family.
There is only one person who strives for love, and that is called moving oneself.
How many obsessive women are planted in "always thinking that they are not good enough, want to cling to, ask for the love of others, and fill their own lack of security."
In fact, aren't these questions all illustrating one thing?
It is really that their own hearts are not strong, they can not be wonderful, they will cling to, take, let others attach to themselves, control in their own hands.
In marriage, if this is the case, with or without that marriage certificate, don't you all have to face the end of leaving?
Not becoming an appendage of another person because of a relationship, and always maintaining independence, autonomy and self-confidence is probably one of the reasons why Wu Junru is so successful in this relationship.
Looking at the state of Wu Junru and Chen Kexin, I can't help but sigh, can I have such feelings, what is the obstacle to not walking into marriage?
Good love will make two people radiant, both people can be themselves independently, and people who don't want to be responsible always have ten thousand reasons and excuses to leave.
No love will be required, love is no matter what it becomes, go forward and retreat together, be evil people, we will not become good people.
How many costume dramas, those villains and their lovers, are not so?
We always judge from our own point of view, where will the villain have any true love?
In fact, their love is more sincere and pure than that of our people who are full of benevolence and morality.
No one wants to be evil, but is willing to be bad for you.
No one wants to be the most special person, the person who is not recognized by the world, but is willing to do it for you.
Much of the rationality in marriage falls on small things, counting money, eating, and sleeping together.
Noisy is not easily separated.
Enjoying the purest love, giving the other party absolute freedom, and not worrying about the future will be different from what she expected, is the life she pursues.
It's also the life we all want.
Calm first, then love people. Only when two people take responsibility together, face all, independent and inclusive, can they go longer!