Text/Chen Shiyu
Dear Dad,
Hello! I didn't expect to write you a letter in decades, the first time I wrote a letter, since I want to send it to heaven! This journey is as far as crossing the ocean! The cross-border road is far away, carrying heavy and tearful thoughts, I don't know if Dad can receive it?
Spread out a piece of letterhead, did not shed tears first. Sunny day, not for the new word strong to say sad, eyes open and closed are the father's voice and smile, can only be recalled, can not touch, how to call the child not sad?
Remembering that you left home to the first anniversary of November 26th, I wonder if the kingdom of heaven is like the golden autumn again? I dreamed of you last night, I didn't have time to say I missed you, it was light, and when I woke up, I found that there were teardrops in the corners of my eyes. Tonight the child wants to write a letterhead to you, and wants to whisper some words hidden in his heart to you.
How many times have I passed by your door after work, looking at the familiar path, thinking that there will never be a figure of you coming to me again, my heart is like being hollowed out, and tears come out of my eyes... Like a madman, he ignored the eyes of passers-by and cried all the way home. Back home, it will take some time to calm down some of the pain.
It is said that children with parents, no matter how old, are still children in the eyes of their parents. Dad was no longer with me, and I had to force myself to grow up, only to find that the process of growing up had a lot of bitterness.
A few days before you left, you were still bitterly saying that the brother should take good care of your uncle wholeheartedly, how could you think that you would walk on your front foot, and your uncle's back foot would follow you. The backs of the two who said they would go away shredded the hearts of many relatives! The departure of you and your uncle made the three elderly aunts cry and cry in the dark, and the occasion was even more miserable. The child has a lot of pain in his heart, a lot of reluctance, but he doesn't know how to shout, just cries, only cares about sadness, only cares about tears. Listening to my sister crying: "Daddy, why don't you look at me more and leave, why??" I couldn't comfort my sad sister, because even I couldn't comfort myself. To this day, I don't want to believe that the father who talked to the child the day before would not quit the next day! The sky, or that sky, but the father lives in a place that the child can't touch, so that the child is worried!
Father, you are always afraid of trouble with your children, as long as you can do what you yourself, you will never instruct your children to do it. You have always asked very little of your children, and it is your practice to be content to be easy. You will always say, "If it weren't for my frailty in my old age, I would have been the happiest and happiest old man in the world!" In the past few years, the endless torture of those diseases has made you a little world-weary and elegant. In fact, you are very strong, in the face of large and small pain, you have not shouted a word of pain. However, I never expected that you did not wait for spring, and quietly and silently "left" on that coldest winter night!
Dad, didn't I promise you to make your favorite radish fin when I come back from Hong Kong? I've been in Hong Kong for the first time in my life to buy you the medicines you need! Storm rushed home overnight, so cold that I did not care to add clothes, did not care to eat a bite of food, and got the news that you are "forever away"! I never dared to face that word, nor did I dare to use that word, because that word was too cruel for the child!! All I could do was cry and say, "My dad just left." I know that Dad will never come back after this trip, and without your days, the child's poetry will be accompanied by tears.
Dad, you know what? As soon as you leave, the baby's sky collapses! I don't want tears to blur your handsome face, and I don't want to let the cries obscure the kind voices you once had! But I couldn't control my tears, I couldn't help but cry! Thinking of his father, the child's heart is heartbroken, and the child without a father is afraid of the dark!
In the past, Qingming also remembered the ancestors, a wisp of cigarettes, a cup of tea, a bouquet of chrysanthemums, a string of words, looking at the sky to show kindness. But it is not like this year, the grief is unbearable, and the sunshine is running in tears! Thinking of that hill, two new graves were added. You and your uncle live in the grave, don't you know it's cold inside? Dad was most afraid of the cold before he was born, I hope that there will always be spring and warm flowers in heaven, dad can be illuminated by the sun every day, and I hope that dad and uncle will be away from illness and pain, and can live another life of peace and health from now on.
Dad, about your "go", uncle has been in the dark. No one dared to show a hint of wind in front of him, for fear that he would not be able to bear the pain of losing his two younger brothers at once. Uncle's mental state has improved, cousin and several nephews are very filial to him, you don't think too much about it in heaven, and live your new life with your uncle!
Dad, since you left, your mother has become more and more silent, and sometimes I see my mother sitting quietly on the sofa without saying a word, listless and colorful, and the child's heart is very unhappy! Although you had many quarrels and complaints before you died, this is actually a kind of fun in your life! Nowadays, there is no one you can make your mother nag, you can make her love, you can make her hate, you can imagine, her life will be a terrible peak! Sometimes your mother will take the initiative to talk about you, saying that if you come to heaven, you don't have to suffer from human diseases anymore. Then I saw the emptiness and numbness in her eyes. My heart tightened, and an inexplicable pain surged into my heart, without your figure shaking back and forth in front of her eyes, other people and things seemed to be of no importance to her. Thinking of this, The child is obviously sad, but helpless! If you can feel your mother's sadness, please tell your mother that you are doing well, that you want to see her live happily and happily, that we all love her and will be filial to her!
Dad, I know that no matter what people in the outside world say about Big Brother, you are the most considerate person for Big Brother! Countless times you have said to me: "Your eldest brother's life is not easy, remember that brothers and sisters have to support each other!". I know that you are a heartbroken big brother running around, but also a heartache for the frail sister, I promise you, I will be as good to them as the second brother, and I will unite my brothers and sisters to try to build a good life, so as to comfort your wishes.
Dad, the page has a beginning and an end, but the thoughts are endless, from beginning to end in the heart, I hope that the sun can see, I hope that the wind can find, help the child carry this paper letterhead to you. Tell Dad how much my family and I miss you.
A thousand words, want to say hugh, want to say hugh! May my dear father live happily in heaven!
(Image from the Internet)
Editor: Zeng Songbai