There is a saying in the "Augmentation of the Sages" that every person says three points, but not all of them can be thrown away.
In fact, it tells us that in interpersonal communication, we must not unrestrainedly tell each other about personal privacy in order to enhance each other's feelings. This not only makes you very passive, but also puts a lot of pressure on the other party.
I met a colleague before, who was very simple, but it made me feel very uncomfortable.
In the workplace, many companies' salaries are confidential, so in order to avoid embarrassment, colleagues will almost never take the initiative to talk about salary, but this young man Zhang Kai not only talks about salary but also takes the initiative to ask about other people's salary every time he eats.
As a result, every time he eats, his colleagues walk around him, because he always says a word, our company really cut the door, last month only sent XXX money, what about you?
Such a question really makes people unable to answer, so every time I am asked by him, I also reply to him with a sentence: the company stipulates, do not discuss salary privately, it does not make much sense, if you like to stay, if you don't like it, you can leave.
Although this was very direct, the effect was obvious, and not only did he not mention such a topic to me later, but he was always very polite to me.
Because no matter who asked the question first, once the salary problem caused friction between the company's colleagues or dissatisfaction with the company, neither of us could get rid of it.
So in daily life, here are also 3 things for everyone, no matter how good the relationship is, don't say 3 privacy, otherwise it is easy to get into trouble.
1. Own household chores
Don't tell others about your housework, because everyone has a difficult scripture. It is easy for husband and wife to have contradictions and frictions, but if you interact with others and unreservedly talk about your own housework, you can't be stupid.
Women complain about their husbands with girlfriends, in addition to making people feel that your husband is nested, it will not solve any problems between your husband and wife;
Men complain about their wives, it is even more outrageous, daughters are men's faces, when you spit on your wife because of trivial matters, it will only make the feelings between you break down and bury hidden dangers, meaningless.
So even if you have a good relationship, when you communicate, don't always talk to each other about your housework, after all, this kind of thing is not well evaluated by others, let alone meddling. So when you talk about this privacy, you are also going to trap your friends in injustice!
2. Trust the relationship to find someone to do a private matter
In this sophisticated society, it is very normal to encounter difficulties and find someone to do something, especially because of personal relationships to solve things that are difficult for others to solve.
But in life, some people just love to show off, always feel that they have a wide network of contacts, resources, drinking and bragging when the mouth does not put the door, the secret of this trust relationship to find someone to do things is also used as talking about bragging with people.
When you open your mouth, in fact, you have already sold the friend who helped you run errands, if this matter reaches the ears of the other party, the next time you want to find him to do things, it is almost impossible.
Like this very private relationship, no matter how good the relationship is, don't say, even if you secretly find someone to help him, don't disclose the other party's information, otherwise, your relationship with others will soon become strange.
3, the way to make your own money
I set up a new media team in 2019, and then went with the trend to enter the new media industry, but because I didn't have much contact before, I just started to suffer a lot of losses, and then I spent money to learn and constantly groped.
Find a few good directions, you can also earn 20,000 or 30,000 a month.
At that time, several good friends also came to me for consultation, and I threw them all around, but then because they did a good job, they did not stick to it, and they did not make money, which led to a very stiff relationship.
Because they did what you say you said and didn't make any money, it's natural for them to think that you're not sharing what you're really making money with them. Eventually you are wronged, and they feel that you are not sincere enough.
So later, many friends ask me about new media again, I will reply to them with a sentence: find your own positioning, control the frequency of your own content, the rest is to stick to it, and making more money and making less is determined by your personal potential energy.
The most stupid people always like to exchange personal privacy for the most iron relationship, this idea is too ridiculous, from the perspective of human nature to think, the friendship between people is sometimes really too fragile, can not withstand a little wind and rain, but we can not do without friends.
Therefore, here we need to control our mouths well, saying that we are controlling our mouths, but in fact, we are leaving a way back for ourselves. When you don't have secrets and privacy in front of others, others won't care about your feelings and will even spread your so-called secrets behind your back.
Human nature does not stand the test, and all we can do is to leave as little handles and secrets as possible to others.
Once a secret is spoken, it is no longer a secret.