30 unspoken rules that adults must understand when chatting
Source | Temujun (ID:tetemu)
Not long ago, I saw such a piece of news on Weibo hot search:
An employee was fired for privately ridiculing the company's leaders.
The reason is that the company's employees, due to long-term overtime dissatisfaction, ridiculed in the private WeChat group.
Unexpectedly, a member of the group transferred the chat history to the boss, resulting in the employee being fired.
Seeing this, I couldn't help but sigh:
There are really too many unspoken rules for adult chatting.
Whether it is office workers or student parties, if they do not understand these unspoken rules, it is easy to step on the thunder.
Not only will it suffer a big loss, but it may also lose its job and not go well in school.
And these unspoken rules cannot be seen or touched, and fewer people tell you how to circumvent and deal with them.
Only by relying on yourself to constantly step on the thunder and summarize and explore can you gradually understand the rules of this.
But it all takes a lot of time and effort.
So today, I summarized 30 unspoken rules that must be understood in the adult world to help you quickly clear mines.
Let everyone take fewer detours in the workplace and life, and quickly become a chat master who is not harmed by unspoken rules.
Advice is good for the ear
1. Beware of sudden greetings.
People who don't usually have much intersection, nothing will not think of you, and when they think of you, they will have something to do.
For example, if you are getting married, if you are in a hurry, or if you want to carry the pot...
2. Don't discuss someone's character or dirty deeds in the office.
You can never guess who the person who betrayed you will be, or whose ears the other person will be.
3. Jokes to be told with caution.
Whether you're joking or sarcastic depends on the party listening.
If "the speaker has no intention, the listener has a heart", there will be many misunderstandings.
4. Unintentional jokes, most likely nudity of real thoughts.
As the girlfriend said:
"You're so poor and not good-looking, if other girls had broken up and run away."
It's a joke, but if you think about it, it may be true.
5. With friends you just met, make friends without saying a word.
Acquaintances will betray, let alone unfamiliar.
Retaining a certain sense of mystery in getting along is to protect yourself.
When I first graduated, I met a new colleague at the company.
Seeing that he was quite familiar with it, he accidentally told him his performance secret.
As a result, soon after, he stole my method and flaunted his might in front of the leader, and I was in tears for this.
6. Praise choose to listen, criticism listen carefully.
Those who only praise you are good to listen to, and what really makes you grow is often the kind words that criticize you and have a reason.
Lessons learned from this are much more reliable than momentary pride.
Give someone a rose, and the hand has a lingering fragrance
7. Others lose their temper with you, don't be tough.
Let him vent his emotions first, and when he calms down, he will naturally feel guilty.
If after that, he still makes unreasonable trouble and intensifies, it is not too late for you to resist.
8. Things that can be solved by text phone, it is best not to use voice.
First, the voice is extremely inconvenient, and the translation may not be accurate.
Second, it is easy to cause disgust and delay things.
At the same time, it is convenient for you to consider each other more, and your popularity will get better and better.
9. If you are nervous if you communicate with someone you don't know:
You can use your fingers to tap your thighs or table top to relax your mind;
You can also quickly double-tap the screen on your phone to release the pressure.
10. The psychology of comparison is available to everyone.
People who ostensibly want you to be well, but in their hearts they don't want you to be better than him, such as:
A: "I recently bought another apartment. ”
B: "Congratulations, I bought a new house less than a year after graduation. ”
A: "If there is any, I still have to learn from you, even my daughter is so old." ”
B: In my heart...
You can say something bad after announcing a good news, so that the other party can balance it psychologically.
For example: if you move, you can say that you have to find a way to repay the loan again;
After being promoted, I have to be targeted by the leadership again.
11. When someone starts perfunctory complaining about you, it means you're going to stop.
Just because friends are willing to listen doesn't mean they like to listen.
If you compare your friends to trash cans, and your complaints to trash, when the trash cans are full, they will overflow.
12. Use less rhetorical questioning tone.
A: "Hello, excuse me, how is this road going?" ”
B: "This road will not go?" Your car for so many years is in vain! ”
A: "Is it from the right?" ”
B: "Don't you turn your eyes blind to the right, don't you know if you try?" ”
If you are A, when you hear these words of B, your heart is definitely not a taste, and you have a bad temper and even get mad on the spot.
This kind of rhetorical tone is sad and sad in communication, and it is better to use less.
Enwei and Shi
It's the best way to keep your distance
13. If you're asking someone and you're getting a no response, don't ask.
Because in the adult world, there is a silent refusal called procrastination.
Like "hesitation" and "time delay", these manifestations are to reject you in disguise.
14. The excuse for adults is that they don't want to.
For example, in a WeChat chat, if the other party keeps replying "yes, yes, mm-hmm, oh-oh", it means that he is not interested in your topic.
If you reply a lot of sentences and he only returns to take a shower or do something, you consciously end the chat.
Sometimes, the reply is just a courtesy.
15. Sincerity is firmness.
If you want to send people home, don't say "I'll send you home"; if you want to help people, don't say "I'll help you".
Try to remove the word "bar" to make you more sincere.
16. Talk and do things to leave the steps.
For the sake of others, it is also to leave a way back for yourself.
17. Someone asks you to borrow money and refuses 1000 yuan, don't forget to refuse 100 yuan.
If you don't lend a lot of money, it shows that others are unreliable.
The small money must be borrowed from you, indicating that he has no way out, and relatives and friends are reluctant to borrow him. (Unless it's really an iron buddy who borrows and repays)
If you want to avoid borrowing money from others, in addition to cultivating the ability to make money, it is more important to learn to manage money.
18. Be nice to people, but don't be too nice to people.
Show the outside world that you are a good person, but not an old good person.
Combining grace and power is the best way to keep a distance.
Don't be greedy and cheap and eat big losses
19. Don't kidnap others by forcing your own values.
You can dislike Jay Chou, but you can't say that people who like Jay Chou are badass;
You can hate coriander, but you can't beat it when you see someone eating it.
Everyone's hobbies are different, learn to respect.
20. Don't pick up small cards when you meet strangers.
Because it's likely to get you stuck in some sort of deal.
For example, scams...
21. Don't drain your connections for being cheap.
For example: frequent group bargaining and voting links, especially friends who rarely chat.
If you want to cut every day, you will feel annoyed.
22. Regardless of the size of the gift and the relationship, it is best to bring something to someone else's house.
Even a bag of apples and a carton of milk can make people feel comfortable.
23. Helping people with good moral character is the most cost-effective investment.
Etiquette is available most of the time.
If you help others, others will feel a sense of indebtedness in their hearts, and when you need them, he will find a way to help you back.
24. No matter how small something is, remember to pay it back.
Others don't say it, but they remember it in their hearts.
Be low-key
Do things with a high profile
25. No matter how good a friend is, don't make decisions for him.
At most, just make suggestions, give him objective and practical references, and whether he adopts them or not has nothing to do with you.
But if you help him make a decision, it is okay not to have an accident, and every accident will be blamed on you.
Don't say how iron your relationship is, it only takes one thing to turn the other cheek.
26. Please eat a 500 yuan meal, sometimes it is better to ask for a 50 yuan meal several times.
The appearance of multiple frequencies is deeper than the impression of a single appearance, and it quickly closes your relationship.
27. It is best to be low-key, and you can do things in a high profile.
Don't bury yourself because of hidden strength, and don't expose yourself because of excessive pride.
Usually there is nothing to do to improve yourself, low-key and modest when not playing, and it is time for you to be a blockbuster when you appear.
28. In your moment of crisis, friends who are willing to take the initiative to help you are worth cherishing.
For example, a borrowing of money in a hurry, a move at a critical moment, or the empathy of accompanying you when you are sad...
29. When you have time to study how to get along with strangers, it is better to think about how to treat your parents well.
You have enough experience to understand that your parents have given you the best love.
And you give them less love than a stranger you just met.
30. There are countless unspoken rules in the world, but no matter how many unspoken rules, they are not as good as your frankness and honesty.
The 4 words of "treating people sincerely" are comparable to any way of getting along.
Source: There are books