While chatting with a friend, she said that her children suddenly didn't want to go to kindergarten. Ask him why he couldn't say clearly, only that he didn't want to go.
I thought the child would lose his temper and let him stay at home for a few days. But a week has passed, and the child is still reluctant to go, and when he mentions sending him to school, he loses his temper at home.
I asked, is the child being bullied?
The friend sighed and asked the teacher, who did not find anything unusual in the child's usual way. Ask the classmates, the classmates can not say clearly. Ask the child himself, he can't say why, there is really no way.
When children socialize, one of the principles I follow is that children have their own set of rules, and parents do not need to intervene in the usual fights and let them solve it by themselves.
It is normal for children to be noisy, but if they encounter bullying, parents must not stand idly by, but should intervene decisively to help children get out of the predicament.
It's just that the hard point is that sometimes the child is bullied and he doesn't want to say it. Especially before the age of 6, his language expression ability is limited, and sometimes he does not want to say it when he is not clear, but just loses his temper.
At this time, how parents guide and help children improve their own prevention ability is particularly important. When children socialize, we usually do the following things to prevent children from being bullied.
One: This is some abnormal behavior, the child may be bullied
In fact, when children encounter anything, they will send a "signal" to their parents, and the key is whether parents can understand it.
We have seen many such examples, children cry and do not want to go to kindergarten, parents only think that the child is not adapted, stay for a while. But after a long time, the child still has not changed, and the situation is getting worse and worse, and there are even problems such as bedwetting and emotional loss of control.
When parents seriously checked, they found that their children had been being bullied, which made them heartbroken.
In the early stage of children entering the kindergarten, they will indeed cry and refuse to go to school because of separation anxiety, but on the whole, the children are still happy in the kindergarten, and the mood of returning home has not changed much. However, if there are the following signs, parents should pay attention:
Nightmares at night, yelling, crying and waking up;
Cry when you encounter a small thing;
Emotions are easy to get out of control, and they are also sullen at home;
Injuries in inconspicuous areas of the body;
Complaining about not being liked.
If there is such an abnormal behavior, parents should be vigilant, the child may be being bullied, and there is fear and fear in the heart that is not spoken.
If the child refuses to speak, we need to have skill when we ask.
Psychologist Jane Nelson suggested that when we talk to a child, we can first talk about the happy and unhappy things we encountered on the day, and then ask the child what the happy and unhappy things he encountered were.
In this way, you can ask the child's heart without leaving a trace. If the child really encounters bullying, we must deal with it in time to help the child get out of the predicament.
Two: Teach children social skills and recognize bullying and general contradictions
After the age of 3, children will have the need to develop social skills, and they learn to deal with contradictions and develop social skills in the process of getting along with others.
If the child says that he quarreled with this classmate, pushed and shoved with that classmate, who accidentally spilled water on him, who did not play with him, etc., these are the processes that children must go through in their growth, we don't have to be too nervous, let him deal with it himself.
If you are really worried about your child's poor handling, we can usually teach him how to get along with people, such as learning to share, being polite, uniting and loving, and so on.
In addition, we need to help children identify what is a general contradiction and what is bullying.
In the "Anti-Bullying Children's Picture Book" that I bought for Bu Ni, I taught children to identify what bullying behavior is. After reading it, the child knows that when encountering these situations, he should refuse in time and say "no" loudly. If you can't figure it out, be sure to tell your parents or ask the teacher for help.
We have always thought that only the upper grade children surround the lower grade children, asking for money or scolding and so on, is bullying. But in fact, there is much more to the child's mental harm. For example, children are rumored, ridiculed, isolated, etc., are bullying behaviors, and may even cause harm and affect the child's personality throughout life.
We usually have to teach our children, don't be afraid of being bullied, bravely stand up and not cower, mom and dad are your strongest backing. In this way, the child has the courage to resist and protect himself.
Three: Teach children to respond correctly
Children are too well-behaved, and it is really not necessarily a good thing. He can be helpful and can be good at sharing, but all of this must be based on his voluntariness. Because this is his kind and precious character.
But if the child does not dare to refuse, he does not dare to squeak when things happen, but only "wronged himself to complete others." Such good children are often more likely to be bullied.
Therefore, we must encourage the child more, enhance his self-confidence, and cultivate the courage to protect his rights and interests.
"Anti-Bullying Children's Picture Book" tells the story of a child who is usually very well-behaved and bullied. Beat is a very strong child, because "I" am thin, he will call "me" on duty, let "I" help him with his homework, he is too strong, "I" am very afraid, "I" what to do, so that he will never bully me again?
"Anti-Bullying Children's Picture Book" is very suitable for children aged 2-8 years old. While watching the story, the child also understands which scenes are beyond the line, and he should be brave enough to say "no".
Many of my mom and friends around me have bought for babies. This set of painting instincts improves children's interpersonal skills and teaches children how to correctly cope with bullying behavior and shape a strong and brave character.
Many bullies are actually picking on the weak, and the stronger you behave, the more he dares not do anything to you. Therefore, children must identify which behaviors are bullying and how they should deal with them strongly.
This set of "Anti-Bullying Children's Picture Books" has a total of 8 books, containing 8 themes: being ridiculed, being touched, being called, being rumor-mongering, being excluded, being nicknamed, being robbed of things, being pushed and shoved, etc.
For example, "I Don't Like to Be Touched" teaches children which are well-intentioned touches and which are malicious touches to help children prevent aggression.
"I don't like to be pushed" is how to correctly "fight back" when a child is bullied and encounters physical injury, and how to find strong help. Instead of suffering in silence and becoming timid and inferior.
And "I don't like to be ridiculed", when children encounter verbal bullying, how to stop such behavior and reduce harm?
This set of "Anti-Bullying Children's Picture Books" teaches children to recognize bullying behavior in the form of storytelling, and uses the right method to deal with it freely. It can not only teach children courage, but also teach children to use wisdom to resolve "crises" and be a smart, insightful and courageous child.
When a child is bullied, what is visible is physical harm, and what is invisible is mental harm. Physical injuries will not take long to heal, while spiritual wounds may accompany the child for a lifetime, and even make his character become cowardly, flattering, inferior and so on.
It's not just children who are beaten and scolded, it's bullying. A lot of verbal and psychological invisible bullying has a profound impact on children. Therefore, in the process of parenting, we should pay more attention to his condition and not be careless.
There are 2-8-year-old children, parents can click on the link to give this set of "Anti-Bullying Children's Picture Book" to the baby, so that he can be a child with a strong heart and know how to respect himself and protect himself.
8 anti-bullying children's picture books ¥49 purchase
Children know how to protect themselves, and in the process of socializing, we can be more assured and less worried.
【Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion】
About the author: Cuckoo mom, a good observation, thinking, method of the mother. Exchange parenting experience, share psychological knowledge, like to pay attention to it~
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