"You can accept your own children
Will you be an ordinary person in the future? ”
He is a standing committee member and deputy secretary-general of the 13th National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference
Vice Chairman of the Central Committee of the China Association for Promoting Democracy
Zhu Yongxin
I once asked my friend this
Dear teachers and parents
What is your answer?
After the implementation of the "double reduction" policy, the burden on students has been reduced, but many parents who are accustomed to "chicken babies" are overwhelmed and always fall into a very anxious situation!
For these anxieties, Zhu Yongxin believes: "Some of the anxieties of parents may sometimes be created by themselves, enjoying the growth of their children, paying attention to their children's needs, respecting their children's interests, parents may have a lot less trouble!" ”
Zhu Yongxin once said to his parents: "You won the first place in the Chinese language test, the first place in my sports score, the first place in his math, the first place in someone playing football, and the first place in paper cutting... Wouldn't it be nice to have everyone do their first place? Why is everyone vying for the only score 'first place'? ”
After the "double subtraction", how to make every child become the "first place", and how can parents give their children better family education? How to drive away anxiety and quarrels, let love and wisdom go hand in hand, and raise happy and complete children?
Let's learn Zhu Yongxin's parenting concept together! The best family education is to give children these 6 kinds of happiness in childhood!
01 The happiness of reading
"You may have unlimited wealth, boxes of jewelry and chests of gold. But you'll never be richer than I am, and I have mom and dad who read to me. ”
Reading is an important source for children to have a rich spiritual life, and the cultivation of reading ability, reading interest and reading habits starts from the family.
The initial reading is parent-child co-reading, which is read by parents to their children, because children do not recognize words, and reading is more from pictures.
Children first understand the world through pictures. Children's books not only have the role of valuable edification, but also have the effect of healing, what problems children want to solve, there are corresponding books, after reading it is more useful than saying 10,000 lessons.
Most importantly, once you have developed the habit of reading in childhood, you will take the initiative to find books to read in the future.
02 Happiness of companionship
Parents and children eat together, talk together, communicate and learn all the time.
Parents are talking about politics, and children may be interested in politics in the future; parents are complaining, and children may have the emotion of complaining. Many parents think that there is no point in talking to their children more, but in fact, what parents say, even if the child does not understand today, will become an important part of his brain.
More importantly, companionship and living together will determine whether the whole family has a common destiny.
One father is a well-known local entrepreneur who is very busy and has no time to spend with his children. After the child entered elementary school, the teachers of the new educational experiment asked parents to read with their children, not only the mother, but also the father.
The father read 184 books with his children in 5 years. He said that he didn't feel it at first, but after reading for a month, he found that reading was much more interesting than drinking, so he began to actively refuse to socialize and read with his children. He said: "In these 5 years, the children went to primary school and I went to college. "Later he talked with his children, and the medium was books.
Parents should find a way to accompany their children no matter how busy they are, even if the time is very tight, even if they are doing things. Back home, many parents play games and watch TV, which is normal, but if you want your child to go better, you must restrain your behavior.
03 Happiness of good habits
Mr. Ye Shengtao said that education is to cultivate habits, and whether education is successful depends on whether good habits have been formed. Sports is not to see how high the jump, how fast to run, how good to play, but to see whether there are good fitness habits.
The new education reform has an action called one thing per month, and let children do one thing every month to cultivate good habits.
For example, learn to eat this month. There are many habits to cultivate in eating, not only etiquette, but also many things related to habits.
For example, learning to walk, walking also has habits, of course, there are many normative things behind the habits, we say not to run a red light, which means to abide by the rules, and obeying the rules is a habit.
Psychological research has found that a good habit needs to be trained for 21 consecutive days, and families need to help children develop good living habits.
04 Achieve self-happiness
We want to make all children heroes, and the only possibility is to help him and make him himself.
The home and school should be a place to help the child discover himself and achieve himself, giving the child as much space, stage and opportunity as possible, so that it is possible for the child to become himself.
As a parent, you must not ask all children to be the same, and all children should be the same. Helping children build self-confidence and helping children find themselves is the most important thing.
Parents always have the urge to help their children, which is also unaccustomed to it, that is also very worried, often like to cross the line and help their children to do everything. However, children always have to face the world independently.
Children do what they want to do on their own, which not only cultivates their ability to do things, but more importantly, lets them learn to enjoy the process of doing things, and cultivates important qualities such as their concentration.
05 Happiness of being respected
The secrets of childhood are far from being discovered. We know that in the long history of mankind, children have never been regarded as human beings! Even to this day, there are still many people who do not see children as human beings!
The real discovery of children and the treatment of children as human beings was after the Renaissance. People began to respect children and respect the status of people.
Especially since the United Nations Children's Charter, we must respect and love children. But with the Children's Charter, do we really treat children as children? It doesn't seem to be! Not to mention treating him like an independent person.
I think our knowledge and understanding of children is far from enough. We need to be consciously aware: respect for childhood.
Childhood itself is one of the most magical stages. With a respect for the child's current life, respect for the child himself as a person, many of our educational methods will naturally change.
So to a certain extent, education is a kind of faith, the establishment of some basic ideas, the basic understanding of children, or the correct concept of children, is a starting point for our education, but also the starting point for the education of our entire family.
06 Happiness believed
Parents should not easily compare your children with other people's children, and do not compare your children's shortcomings with the strengths of others. Believe that your child is a work of art like no other.
Every child is different, and parents should be good at discovering their child's shining points and helping him become the best version of himself.
Appreciation leads to success, and complaining leads to failure. If you want your children to do it, then cherish every opportunity for your child to grow, appreciate their growth, appreciate their words and deeds; if you want your children to do it, then complain and blame them.
The child's potential is greater than everything that has been achieved. Modern scientific research has long proved that human potential is enormous.
Let's believe in the potential of children's development!
These 6 kinds of happiness harvested from childhood
It will become the happiness and luck of the child's life
In addition to giving children these 6 kinds of happiness
And these parents must know
A guide to homeschooling
Zhu Yongxin also said these words to his parents
Every one of them will help you
1. Many parents think that their business is to let their children eat well, dress well, be in good health, and education is a matter of school. In fact, no matter where the child is, it is always inseparable from the influence of the parents and the education of the parents, including every word at the dinner table, the child remembers in his heart.
2. For a long time, we have regarded growing up as a child's business, but it is not. Growing up is a common thing for parents and children, and it is a problem that parents and children must face together. Without the growth of parents, there will never be the growth of children.
3. In the adult dictionary, the error always belongs to the child. Because they are the standard. Adults are free to judge, criticize, and even insult children. In fact, it is often adults who make mistakes, who are the parents of children, and children have difficulty arguing and complaining.
4. Many parents are self-centered, but they meet their own needs in the name of love rather than really thinking about the problem from the long-term perspective of their children. Entering the child's heart, paying attention to the real growth of the child, helping the child, and meeting the needs of the child is the real love!
5. Among the factors that affect lifelong development, the score is not the most important, what plays a restrictive role is character, character, the happiness of being a person, and it is welcomed and respected. Paying too much attention to the child's learning and paying little attention to his character is worrying about such educational concepts and methods.
6. Mr. Ye Shengtao said that education is to cultivate habits, and whether education is successful depends on whether good habits have been formed. Sports is not to see how high the jump, how fast to run, how good to play, but to see whether there are good fitness habits.
7. There is nothing wrong with Jackie Chan, which parent is not like this? But the problem is the standard. We parents always use the standard of grades, in fact this direction is wrong. The child should be himself, and only by becoming himself can he live a happy life and realize his potential.
Adults are more important than talent
Happiness is more important than success
Source: China Education News
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