Qualified parents should put the focus of education from educating their children to educating themselves.
For enlightened parents, educating their children is just an excuse, and self-education is real.
When you educate yourself well, the child is just a reflection of the good you, he will naturally be good. "Self-learning" and "self-education" are truly meaningful and effective.
The problem with the child is his own projection.
For a family, you are the root of the tree and the child is the flower. If there is a problem with the flower, it is most likely that the root of the tree also has a problem. Parents often "see" the child's problems, in fact, their own problems "blossom" in the child, the child is your projection screen.
1How did "The ProblemAtic Child" appear?
Parent means "mind" and child represents "heart". When the existence of life seems to be in trouble, it is the "mind" that is wrong. The "heart" has always been healthy, how can the "heart" have a problem?
Without your perspective, judgment, and opinion, will there be a problem child in your eyes? It's you who create problem concepts and then project them onto the child. Think of a piece of jade as an ugly stone.
If you are a fearful parent, you must have a problematic child.
The greater your fear, the more problems you see as a child. Fear leads to control. The more frightened you are, the more inclined you are to grasp something in order to make yourself feel secure.
The more fears you have, the more you demand of your children, and therefore the more problems you see with your children. Without your fears, without your repression or judgment, is it really hard for him to educate?
2 Become a completely fearless parent
People expect their children to grow up wise and capable. How can he manifest his "greatest" wisdom and ability?
That's the right way to let go and let him grow up the way that suits him.
It is not easy to put a pony to grow freely on the vast grassland. What a fearless heart the owner of the pony needs!
He would worry about the ponies encountering such dangers on the road, of one kind or another of problems. He would worry, let the pony go, what would happen to it in the future, how it would grow.
How dare you give up on your child? You don't have that much courage.
In the free form of a child, we can see how big a parent's fearless heart really is. Not a man as bold as God, his children cannot enjoy the pure boundless sky and earth.
3 We always play God unconsciously
We thought that we knew what was best for him, and we knew what path was best for him.
But, from a long-term perspective in life, does he really know what's best for him?
What kind of path do you determine is the best path your child should take in life? Are you God? If you really are God, do it like God and let the child grow up on his own.
Look, the beings under the heavens—tigers, lions, ants, bees—which one is not growing on their own, God has not manipulated their path of life.
4 Demanding, expecting, and being responsible does not mean love
We measure whether we love or love a person, and often look at whether we have demands, expectations, or irresponsibility towards him, and how deep that is.
The more we demand from a person, the higher we expect, the more we control— the more responsible we are, the more we love that person; conversely, we don't love him, or we don't love him deeply. Is this true?
This is a mistake.
Demands, expectations, or so-called responsibilities are just another incarnation of fear, another name.
Because we have fears ourselves, when we demand, expect, or take responsibility for another individual, we can make us feel deeper and more connected to each other, making us feel safe for ourselves.
5 Fear will make children "hostages"
You have to be good and good, otherwise I'm not safe; you have to be capable, otherwise how can I be at ease?
Lo and behold, parents are turning their children into threats to their inner safety.
When a child is a "hostage" in the family, guess, can the child receive a truly benign education? The child becomes a wave on the river of fear within the family, and he certainly cannot obtain what he really needs in life.
When you are afraid, he can feel the fear, even if he is small; when you relax or be confident, he can feel it. The child is a sensitive receiver who is reflecting your voice and information.
A qualified parent should put the focus of education from educating children to educating themselves.
For enlightened parents, educating their children is just an excuse, and self-education is real. When you educate yourself well, the child is just a reflection of the good you, he will naturally become better.
Checking yourself and examining your inner fears is the beginning of your real desire to educate good children.
Education is, in a sense, a healing of the fear and foolishness of the human heart, and an understanding of education on a deeper level.
6 All relationships are related to oneself
In fact, in the whole existence of life, there is no relationship between you and others. All relationships (including so-called parent-child relationships) are essentially projections of your relationship with yourself.
Your relationship with your thoughts is the matrix of your relationship with the whole world. All your external relationships are projections of that relationship.
If your relationship with your child is messy, how to deal with your relationship with him? Just deal with your relationship with your beliefs.
Please go deep within yourself and understand what you really think, which is the fundamental point of resolving relationships.
7 Educating children is introspection
When we dig deeper into life's problems, we will find that when you are fine, the problems of the whole world are over. If I find the world to be problematic, it must be that I still have a problem.
When I cannot accept the world one hundred percent, it means that my mind has not yet achieved its own perfection. Seeing the world as perfect is only a result of witnessing one's own inner perfection.
Education is a kind of self-awakening, a kind of human self-awakening, a kind of self-awakening of yours.
On the way to the fulfillment of one's own life, the child and his education are a bridge. Stepping on this bridge, you are back on your own. By having a child and educating him, work on yourself to achieve the consummation of the whole existence.
Education is a way to wake up, to persuade your child outwardly, to persuade yourself inward!
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