In the third week of March 2022, I finally let go of my obsession

This article is based on publicly available materials and is for informational purposes only and does not constitute any investment advice. Author: Happy Dust, with a column of the same name in Snowball.

"It sent me straight up into the sky, and it sent me to hell. It ecstatic me, and it overwhelms me. It is a kind, amiable angel, and it is also the devil who tears you apart with its fangs in the blink of an eye. Who is it? It is leverage. ”

Thanks to the timely rescue of the organization, I was desperate, fulfilled my last strength and faith, and gave me a little more dignity to say goodbye to the lever. I also congratulate myself on finally letting go of my obsession with leverage (getting rich).

Over the past four years, my IB account has maintained high leverage for a long time (the leverage multiple of the stock has been hovering between 2 and 3 for many years), and has survived many tests in October 2018, August 2019, March 2020 and even today. During the period, several times faced the risk of being liquidated, each time it fell miserably, it could only be forced to reduce its position, and then chase the high to buy back after the rising financing amount was restored.

And so on, over and over again. How many times toss and turn, can not sleep at night, the taste, it is difficult to express.

I had thought about waiting until the leverage went, sorting out the experiences of the past few years, and writing it as a novel. But when I did, at this point, I didn't bother to dwell on it. Because with leverage and deleveraging, saying it doesn't mean anything to yourself, and it doesn't mean anything to other people. For people with low risk appetite, they naturally will not use levers, and for people with high risk preferences, they will not listen to the advice of others without personally bumping their heads and breaking the bloodstream.

Why do I use leverage? Initially because the interest rate on IB account financing is extremely low (between 1-2%), later because of the pleasure of enjoying the bull market plus leverage, and then because of unwillingness and luck, so it is difficult to extricate itself from the same mistakes again and again. But this time, I had the biggest challenge ever, and in just two days, my IB account was really close to a complete blowout, close to zero.

These two days, I thought of one of my uncles. My mom said early on that I followed him from my curly hairstyle, appearance, and personality. He did not study, when he was young, he taught himself to repair electrical appliances; he opened a mine in the local area as a boss in his thirties (when he was a child, he participated in the village party he held, and was deeply impressed); in middle age, he went south to Dongguan to work, and became the general manager of a factory; when he was old, he began to go south and north to do business and speculate in futures, and several times he actually borrowed from me as a junior for a few thousand yuan. I used to admire him, and later I couldn't help but feel some contempt in my heart.

On the way home from work yesterday, I was thinking while driving, my uncle is such a smart and hard-working person, obviously young and promising, why is his situation getting worse and worse when he is old? It occurred to me that the reason was simple, because he was too ambitious, he always looked at the mountain high, in other words, he was a gambler who lacked reverence. And I, in addition to starting a little higher than him, in essence, what is the difference between me and him? If there is no difference, his today is my tomorrow. When I am old, not only will I have no dignity, but I will also affect my children.

These two days, I also thought about myself, my wife and family. What do I want? I want them to live a carefree life, now and in the future, but I'm delusional that I can do that by lying flat. And what do they want? A certain material basis, and more companionship, and my health, contentment, and happiness.

Our existing assets and work income, although not rich and expensive, are enough to ensure that food and clothing are worry-free. They never demanded higher demands on me, but I myself always started all kinds of crazy operations and all kinds of work on the grounds that they could live a better life. Is it really good to go back to zero? Is it really possible to let the income from hard work and overtime in these years be wasted?

When people are young, or when they are proud, they tend to think that the future will be better. Just like me more than four years ago, looking at the net worth of millions of dollars in my IB account, I thought that if I went to work for a few more years, I would have to get tens of millions in a few years. After all, the companies I bought were good and cheap. But looking back, because of the leverage, I was just riding the roller coaster back and forth.

Life is like climbing a mountain, if you can't be down-to-earth, once you lose your footing, the small peak you once easily climbed is likely to be the peak that you can no longer reach for the rest of your life. There are many living examples of this, whether it is ancient or modern, Chinese or foreign, or in which circle. As the saying goes, yesterday's pity broke the jacket and the cold, and now it is suspected that the purple python is long; because the hat is small, the shackles are carried.

I know that I am stupid compared to some big coffee with insight, intelligence and caution, and good at digging up individual stocks; in the face of a strong institution, my financial strength can be said to be as small as dust. But in my own way of investing, with my endurance and tenacity, if I don't use leverage, even if it's limited to real estate and related industries, my account will perform much better in the long run (and this is true for an account without leverage).

Let's say so much, I can't imagine, it is at this point in time that the leverage is removed and the obsession is let go. Although the price has been paid, it is worth it. In the past, I always felt that life was too short to wait, in fact, looking back, life is very long, you can wait, it is worth waiting.

Over the years, because of leverage, the original down-to-earth mentality and solid basic skills of price investment have become unrecognizable. I'm going to get it back slowly.

From tomorrow onwards, be a happy person.

"On the road of long-termism, walk with the great pattern viewer and be a friend of time."

Author: Happy Dust