Looking back now, my marriage to Gao Wei included my short-sightedness and my father's calculations.
Gao Wei's father was my father's boss. When I went to my father's unit a few times, I happened to meet Uncle Gao, who first looked at him, and after getting acquainted, it was a kind greeting: How old are you, and you are not in love. At that time, I was young and ignorant, thinking that it was simply from the care of my elders.
One night, my father suddenly said to me that Uncle Gao's family had a son who was five years older than me and could try to contact me.
Under the careful arrangement of the two elders, I met with Gao Wei. At that time, he was young and vigorous, wearing a pair of glasses, and he was polite, and I did not feel moved.
Gao Wei's family is very well-off, Uncle Gao is a section-level cadre in the organ, through his father's relationship, he is doing some business outside, and he is also very successful. My family is not bad, even if it is well-off, compared to the high family, it still fell a step.
Under my nod, the two parents actively matched. After a year and a half of acquaintance, Gao Wei and I got married.
At first, Gao Wei was really good to me, and he was worried that I was tired and persuaded me not to work and stay at home in peace. Food, clothing, shelter and transportation will never lack me for half a penny. At that time, I thought I was the luckiest woman in the world, with a husband who knew cold and hot, with countless clothes and bags of various brand names. Although Gao Wei loved to play cards, in my opinion at that time, it was not a big deal, men, socializing outside, playing cards is also a way of interpersonal communication.
Two years later, we had a daughter. Gao Wei loved his daughter even more, holding it in his hand for fear of falling, and holding it in his mouth for fear of melting. With the birth of his daughter, he is also busier, and from time to time he does not return home at night. Whenever I complained about this, he always smiled and comforted me: "I don't want to work so hard, don't I want to take advantage of the present to make more money for you two!" ”
I am at home every day, he is busy outside, and it is too pretentious and willful to say more, so I can only persuade myself to calm down and not drag him down.
The three-foot square circle of life and Gao Wei's care all along really blinded my eyes. What he said was busy, in my opinion, busy making money, but he was busy playing cards, and his addiction was getting bigger and bigger, and he would not go home all night.
Falling from heaven to hell is often just a blink of an eye.
In the early hours of that morning, Gao Wei came home drunk and sat on the sofa with his head in his arms. Seeing his drunken state, I couldn't help but blame a few words. Gao Wei looked up and slapped me twice.
Two slaps down, I was confused, Gao Wei was also confused, he immediately hugged me, and kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Seeing his pained look, my heart softened, thinking that I was just drunk and uncontrollable for a while, and in turn comforted him.
Domestic violence has broken the zero limit since this night.
The second domestic violence is only three months after the first. The same drunk, the same borrowed wine to hit me, the difference is that this time, not only two slaps, but also punches and kicks on the body.
That night, I carried my daughter back to my mother's house, crying and crying for divorce.
When my mother saw that I was covered in scars, she cried while giving me medicine; my father sat on the side, smoked a cigarette all night, kept cursing Gao Wei in his mouth, and said that he would take me to the Civil Affairs Bureau tomorrow.
The next morning, when I came out of the bedroom, my father called me up to him and said in a serious tone, "Girl, this matter will not be forgotten." Gao Wei was also drunk and did not mean to hit you. ”
I looked at Dad and said in disbelief, "Dad, this is not the first time!" ”
"Alas", Dad sighed: "Man, when you are always angry outside, you can't always go to the outsiders to take this breath, right?" What does a family gain by being wronged? ”
I stared at my father, I couldn't imagine that words came out of his mouth, was this still my father who loved me since childhood?
After a while, Dad said, "You see, I'm in the same unit as your father-in-law, I don't look up to see you, I'm in trouble, and no one's face is good." When Gao Wei arrived home, his father scolded him well, and this matter was so calculated, he had to spare people and spare people! ”
Mom just blindly wiped her tears on the other end of the couch, and she didn't even have a word of objection to what Dad said.
Think about myself, I married Gao Wei not long after graduation, never worked, and now have children. If I do get divorced, what do I rely on to support myself and what do I rely on to support my children? Maybe dad said he would repent?
With a trace of luck and my father's persuasion, when Gao Wei came to the door to ask for guilt, I went home with him again.
In order to make up for me, Gao Wei went home on time every day for half a month, and the days seemed to go back to a few years ago, making me think that he really repented.
But after experiencing this time, I also have an extra eye. After he left the house, I started looking around to ask friends who had known him before about what kind of person he really was.
And this inquiry made my hair stand up: Gao Wei had been punished for beating his classmates when he was in school, and several girlfriends who had been treated before had broken up because they could not stand his beating. When he is in a good mood, he can still control himself; when he is in a bad mood, he cannot control himself completely. What makes me even more chilling is that the busyness in Gao Wei's mouth is not for work at all, but busy gambling. This year he has gambled more and more, and he has lost millions of dollars! The first time I was hit, he lost 100,000!
The Gao family knows all these things, but no one has ever told me about them, even the Gao family knows about my domestic violence, but my in-laws have never visited and comforted me once!
What's even more terrifying is that after Gao Wei learned that I had inquired about him, he broke the jar and broke it, and simply did not go home, and wandered the casino night and night. When I lost my head, I vented at me. After waking up, I knelt down again, and I was a promise, and i was a blood book, and I tried everything to beg for forgiveness.
Even a few times, in front of his daughter, he slapped me hard; there was a trace of resistance in my eyes, and if he noticed it, he would fight harder and longer. There was hardly a good place on the whole body except for the face and the bare arms, and the bruises pressed against the bruises.
I couldn't sleep all night in those days, and as soon as I closed my eyes, I felt him standing in front of me naked, gasping for wine, his fists raised high. I didn't dare to sleep and sat all night until dawn.
Walking down the street, and trying to stay away from strange men, I was afraid that they would also throw their fists at me.
After a few months, my whole body was skinny.
I wanted to report the crime, he locked me in the house, snatched the mobile phone, and did not let me contact anyone; I wanted to get a divorce, he firmly disagreed, and asked his father to come to the door to persuade. And my father either said that he could not get by on the face, or said that he was going to be promoted recently, so I did not make trouble here.
At that time, I called the heavens and the earth ungodly, like a walking corpse, wandering at the gates of hell.
Family, family can not be relied on; friends, friends can not help, who else can rely on? You're on your own! I secretly decided: I must get out of this demonic marriage on my own!
I made up my mind, and I stopped working against him, seeking perfection everywhere, just so that I could get out of the house. Only when you go out of the house can you escape.
Gao Wei saw that I lowered my attitude, thinking that I had figured it out, and also relaxed his discipline on me a little.
Taking advantage of this limited time, I found someone. This man was none other than Gao Wei's good friend and one of his gamblers, Yu Yi. I knew he had an intention for me, and he took the opportunity to use it for me.
I invited Yu Yi alone to meet at a teahouse and talked to him about the conditions.
I let Yu Yi play a game and trapped Gao Wei in the casino until he lost all his family property and borrowed a huge amount of usurious loans. After the fact, I did not want any of the money gao Wei lost in the bet, all of it went to him, and gave him another 200,000 yuan as a reward for this matter.
Yu Yiben, who loves to gamble, is not a good person, coupled with the temptation of huge money, he readily agreed.
After Yu Yi left, I also began my actions. I gave all the valuable bags and jewels in my hand to my best classmates in college in the name of gifts, and then all of them became money through her hands and temporarily stored in her name.
At the other end, Yu Yi found a few people, and in response to Gao Wei's partnership, it took almost twenty days to loot all the money under Gao Wei's name, and it took almost a week for Gao Wei to borrow a million usurious loans.
Things went according to my expectations. I called 200,000 yuan to Yu Yi's name, and asked that after a month, the usury would come to the door from time to time to collect debts.
1 million is undoubtedly a huge amount of money for Gao Wei at this time, and he simply can't come up. So after coming out of the casino, he hid on the pretext of going out to talk about business. A month later, in the middle of the night, he quietly returned home.
But I thought that the usury came to the door early the next morning. I hugged my daughter, pretended to be trembling with fear, and begged Gao Wei to go home and borrow money to pay off the debt.
Where is he willing to be proud? A pushed me to the ground, and I cried and yelled at him, "If you don't pay back, what will happen to our family after that?" What about my daughter? Did you just hide and not go out? You can run, where can I run? Did you let the usury sell my wife and daughter to the end? ”
I thought that my daughter was his last weakness, but for my daughter's sake, he might let us have a way to live. But with a gray face, he was silent for a long time, and still did not let go.
Three days later, Yu Yi came to the door. He took a written divorce agreement and found Gao Wei, saying that as long as Gao Wei was willing to divorce me, the 1 million could be borrowed from him for a temporary need.
Yu Yi was interested in me, and Gao Wei knew very early on that when he came to the door at this time, he just wanted to take advantage of the fire and rob me and turn me into his playmate in a bright and upright manner.
I overestimated Gao Wei, thinking that if the husband and wife were together, he would struggle a little because of it, but unexpectedly, he signed it quickly.
Our divorce papers were quickly filed.
Before Righteousness could come to the door, I took my daughter out of my hometown and went to other places. As for where to go, I didn't even mention my parents. But before leaving, I sent the audio recordings of my meeting with Yu Yi to the local public security bureau. Yes, whether it was in the teahouse or at home, as long as I met Yu Yi, I quietly recorded the sound.
Using the money I had saved at the time, I rented a small house, got another job, and depended on my daughter, and my life was not too good, but at least I was calm.
Five years on, I still have nightmares and dreams of my fists raised high. Physically there were no signs of being beaten, but psychological injuries, I knew, would always be with me.
I don't regret all this I did, because if I don't run away, he will also gamble, he will go crazy about it, he will continue to abuse, I just want to survive safely.
As for Gao Wei, I am not worried about how much harm this matter will bring him. Sooner or later, the Gao family would know that for the sake of their only son, they would definitely come up with money to settle this matter.
Maybe that's the best ending for both of us.
Author's Note:
This is the story of a friend of a friend.
In a data survey in 2020, there were about 100,000 cases of domestic violence, and the perpetrators were mostly men; since 2005, the proportion of legal cases involving domestic violence has increased by 4.13% every year. What is even more distressing is that the academic qualifications of male abusers are not limited to low- and middle-aged people, and the number of male abusers with high knowledge levels is getting bigger and bigger.
At present, there are not many people convicted of domestic violence, most of them are mainly based on dispute mediation, which cannot solve the fundamental problem of domestic violence, so it will arouse more and more women to help themselves.
Domestic violence hurts not only the flesh, but also the spiritual humiliation and psychological fear, which cannot be eliminated for a long time.
If you are a bystander, please do not put the last straw on the victim, if you are a victim, then please be brave and don't give the other party a chance to hurt you!