Their children are lively and cute at home, but they cower when they go out, and their favorite toys are taken away by other children, but they dare not speak out.
Everyone plays together, but their own children hide in the corner of the wall alone to play by themselves, and if they are not careful, they will punch other people's children with small punches.
As children get older, the importance of social skills suddenly becomes apparent. As a parent, have you ever had the above confusion?
Not every child can be smoothly integrated into the group, some children are introverted, some children are not good at words, and some children are timid and not used to dealing with complex social situations.
Whether a child can smoothly transition from the family to integrate into society affects the development of the child's personality, and it is also an important process of children's social development.
Parents who want to help their children improve their social skills must first understand what affects their children's social skills.
What factors affect a child's ability to socialize?
Parents' negative evaluation of their children
Parents may inadvertently evaluate their children like this, "You are too shy, not generous at all", "You are really rude, do not greet children" and so on.
These comments are a negative label for children, do not think that children do not understand what adults are saying, in fact, children are very sensitive to adult evaluations.
These evaluations not only fail to prompt the child, but also allow the child to develop in the direction described by the negative evaluation.
Children lack guidance
Many times, parents do not regard their children as an "independent person", they take care of their children's diet and living meticulously, but lack of communication.
Such companionship is typical of "comforting" companionship. They selectively block the language, emotions, and behaviors that children want to express.
When children enter the social sensitive period, parents do not guide their children to feel the kindness and beauty between people, and do not take them to feel the warmth and kindness of others.
The child's personality has a paranoid hint, and gradually loses interest in interacting with people.
When children see other children playing together, but they can't fit in and are alone, they will feel lost, don't know how to be accepted by the group, and will fall into a vicious circle.
Household environmental impact
Children grow up in feudal, non-associative families, and children often draw clear lines between family and outsiders.
The child is best at observation and imitation learning, if he finds that parents rarely socialize with people, the child naturally does not dare to go forward to communicate with small partners.
These children feel out of place in their families and the outside world, causing them to naturally see the outside world in a hostile manner and their natural social skills to suffer.
Overprotective parents
Many parents spoil their children excessively and develop the habit of saying one thing and not saying the same thing.
When children play with other children, stumbling will naturally occur. At this time, if parents repeatedly intervene in the small friction between children, it will affect the development of children's social skills, and every conflict is a good opportunity for children to learn social skills.
Parents only want to solve the problem, depriving the child of the opportunity to try, so that the child can not learn how to cope on their own.
How can I improve my child's social skills?
Guide your child to talk more
Many times the root cause of children's poor social skills is language ability, children can't speak clearly, how to communicate with other children?
You can teach your child more catchy nursery rhymes or some simple pictures to speak, and cultivate children's language skills with the help of storytelling.
In their daily lives, parents communicate more with their children, and encourage their children to talk more about the interactions with their classmates, interesting observations, and what they want to eat tomorrow.
The questions asked are simple and interesting, and the child will be willing to say something when he has something to say.
When the child takes the initiative to speak, parents should give praise in time, so that the child can get positive feedback, so that they like to talk.
Take your kids to crowded places
Children have just gone from the family to the society, will feel strange and afraid, the psychology of resistance, at this time parents do not laugh in front of the face, accuse the child of timidity. Otherwise, it will increase the psychological pressure of the child and make the child afraid of the outside world at home.
Therefore, when the child is one or two years old, parents can take their children to the crowded public places in a planned way, so that the children can contact various environments little by little, so that the children can feel the voices and faces of different people.
At the same time, when taking children to participate in group activities, it is best to bring children to the venue in advance to familiarize themselves with the environment, accompany the children, and let the children have a sense of security.
In most cases, the earlier the child comes into contact with the crowd, the more people he contacts, the more cheerful the child's personality, the ability to adapt to the environment and the stronger the social communication ability after growing up.
Prepare some souvenirs for your child
When your child is unable to join the community, it is a good choice to prepare some "helpers" for your child.
Parents can prepare some toys and small snacks for their children to take with them and give them to children. Coming and going, the child will soon be able to get along with the children.
Parents can also organize some activities such as toy exchanges, so that children invite children who have a good time and children in a small area to come to the house to exchange toys to play. Let the child become the protagonist and enjoy socializing with other children.
The best gift that parents can give their children is to respect and understand the child on the road of their children's interactions, guide the child to handle interpersonal relationships correctly, and solve problems in their own way.
Learning to socialize is a gradual process, and I hope that parents can have enough patience to guide their children step by step towards society.