Cao Debao and Qiao Chunyan, is the love at first sight at the Bingkun family party, when Chunyan, originally ran to Bingkun, planned to lie in Bingkun's home and not go back, but was attracted by Cao Debao's humorous style and the concentration of playing harmonica, just that night, the two people had an indescribable thing.
After waking up, Chunyan pretended to be innocent, and the relationship with Bingkun was over, Chunyan and Debao flashed marriage, perhaps at that time in Chunyan's heart, Debao should belong to the kind of person who looked at it and wanted to marry him, the two people played harmonica side by side, admired each other's admiration, and most of the lovers who were in love, incomparably beautiful.
But no matter how beautiful the initial love is, the marriage of the two people is still in a long-term imbalance to the point of seeing each other, Cao Debao cheated on a female subordinate of the unit, Chunyan can't figure out that she has been single-mindedly for So many years to Cao Debao, the big things and small things in the family are all her responsibilities, why Debao is still so dissatisfied, for a woman who is nothing like her to divorce her.
In fact, this marriage, from the beginning of Chunyan's calculation of Debao is unbalanced, an unmarried woman, before marriage to pull the man "naked", this is a way to subvert the tradition, and after the two married, Chunyan's strength is even more overwhelming Debao, Chunyan always habitually degrades Debao worthless, and hurts Debao's self-esteem countless times.
Debao's derailment, the showdown in the word Pearl, completely tore open the greasy of Chunyan, but Chunyan is not a simple woman after all, she has been crawling in the service industry for many years, the means of the heart are not simple, she knows how to treat the right medicine, although she hates Debao, but in order to Chinese the traditional face of the monk's underage children, Chunyan compromised, which may also be the tragedy of middle-aged marriage.
The "one-night absurd" calculation doomed this marriage to be unfair
Chun yan is the best looking girl in addition to Zhou Rong, doing pedicure in the public bath, although it sounds bad, but it is a national unit, Chun Yan has a good personality, sweet mouth, very likable in the unit, even the boss has to hold her point, the suitor is a big grab.
But Chunyan is not willing to find a boyfriend in the public bath, she does not want people to say that she and her two mouths are pedicure, so Chunyan stared at Bingkun, they grew up with young plum bamboo horses, the relationship between the two adults is also very good, trying to match Chunyan and Bingkun, but Bingkun looked at Chunyan's big grinning personality, there was no interest at all, and even a little disgusted with Chunyan.
Bingkun knows that Chunyan's mother and his mother are matching him two, but always pretend not to know, when Chunyan boldly confessed, Bingkun only pretended to be stupid, not Chunyan was not good, it was really Chunyan who was not his dish, Bingkun liked, it was Zheng Juan who made him fascinated at first sight, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
But the more Bingkun avoids Chunyan, the more Chunyan presses forward, in addition to running to Bingkun's only way to get off work every day to block him, he often runs to his home, and the light car is familiar with the road like going back to his own home, on the night of the first day of the New Year, Bingkun invited his friends in the timber factory and soy sauce factory to come to the house as a guest, and Chunyan came uninvited.
Chun Yan carefully spoiled herself, more feminine and delicate than usual, as soon as she entered the door, Bingkun's gang of buddies was startled, everyone ridiculed Chun yan and Bing Kun is the relationship between "cousin cousin", Bing Kun tried to explain that he and Chun Yan have no relationship, silently sitting in the corner playing harmonica Debao, made an idea for Chun Yan.
At a meal, Debao constantly attracted the attention of Chunyan, when Bingkun returned home after picking up his mother from Chunyan's house and being rejected, Debao and Chunyan were already like a couple, the two people sat shoulder to shoulder on the kang, playing harmonica, only each other in their eyes, even Bingkun's arrival did not disturb them.
When several friends were boxing and drinking together, the wine was drunk, and Debao told a real story on the street of his house. On the second day of the marriage of a young couple, the bride took the groom to the police station, saying that the groom had been playing hooligans on her all night, and that she would never want to be a rogue wife in the future, and asked the police station to arrest the groom.
Chun Yan had just taken a sip of wine, laughed sharply and turned around and sprayed the wine on the ground, mockingly: "Idiot! If I had entered the cave one day, it would have been me who was playing hooligans! That night Bingkun was afraid of embarrassment, so he left Debao with three people to live together, saying that Debao Bingkun lived in the outhouse, Chunyan lived in the back room, but slept until midnight, Debao drilled Chunyan's bed, but in fact, Chunyan took the initiative.
After Bingkun and Zhou Mu continued to do ideological work for Chunyan's mother and Debao, Chunyan's marriage with Debao became a success, and she confessed to Bingkun that in fact, nothing happened that night, which was enough to prove that this matter was Chunyan's initiative, and her calculation was for the people she liked, but this was not a legitimate means, this was not something that Debao was willing to do.
Debao is very fond of Chunyan, but he has a dream girl in his heart, the girl who plays the violin on the small Western-style building opposite his home, Debao is inspired to marry the daughter of a high-ranking family who is in distress, Chunyan's calculation, let Debao be caught off guard, there is no half preparation for being a husband, he inexplicably became Chunyan's husband, this marriage, for Debao, from the beginning is unfair.
The greasiness of middle-aged women begins with soft heart and
Chun Yan is a proud person, always saying what is in her heart, but this is both an advantage and a disadvantage, and sometimes, the truth is also very hurtful. After Debao and Chunyan got married, there was no house to live in, so they lived in Chunyan's mother's house, Chunyan was a self-motivated and strong girl, even if she was married, she never stopped moving upwards, and soon became a deputy director in the public bath.
Debao is not bad, in the soy sauce factory mixed with the wind, but also became the leader of the group, both are enthusiastic and kind people, in Bingkun's mother is unconscious, Bingkun because of her sister in prison during the days, Chunyan Debao is busy working every day, while busy helping Bingkun take care of his mother, Chunyan also taught Zheng Juan to give Bingkun's mother a massage.
But as Xiao Yanchuan said, a person who is good to pets does not mean that he is good to others; being righteous to brothers does not mean that he will be devoted to his lovers; filial piety to parents does not mean being docile to his partner. Chunyan is enthusiastic about working to help friends during the day and is also very good to her parents, but when she is not happy, she is always angry with Debao for no reason.
Chun yan from an excellent pedicure, became a learning pacesetter in the unit, and later worked well and was promoted to a cadre, and also divided into a house, the family happily moved over to live, but the house was not hot, Chun Yan was calculated by the villain, saying that she and the Gang of Four were one faction, the leader could not become, the house could not be lived, and was forced to move out overnight.
Career blows let Chun yan have no place to be angry, was demoted but also had to lose a smile to show that they were very willing, extremely suppressed the anger in Chun Yan's heart broke out, she pointed at Debao and scolded, since marriage, Debao has been living in Chun yan's family, once it was Chun Yan's mother's family, and then it was Chun Yan's house, he did not pay attention, half a sentence did not dare to say.
Debao is also determined to work hard, can not always let Chunyan alone to bear the whole family, he all the way from the soy sauce factory employees, to the team leader, to the workshop director, the work is also serious and responsible, although not as capable as Chunyan, but compared to a few friends, Debao is also excellent.
But the industry of Debao and Chunyan has gradually opened up the distance, Chunyan's service industry is becoming more and more prosperous, Debao's production industry has become difficult because of the emergence of new products, many workers are unemployed, there is no future for those who stick to their positions, the factory can not even afford wages, Chunyan even if she is just a pedicure, earn more money than Debao.
Later, through her own efforts, Chunyan became the deputy director of the Women's Federation, and was assigned to a large house, the gap between the two people became farther and farther, Chunyan also looked down on Debao more and more, in front of several friends, often debao was worthless, Debao in the long-term repressed life, moved his mind to other women.
The repression of unequal marriage makes all betrayals premeditated
That girl is a clerk in the soy sauce factory, but also a subordinate of Debao, she does not have Chunyan to do, no Chunyan will come to do things, not to mention like Chunyan to protect herself, in a wine table to talk about cooperation, the other boss in order to be able to sign a contract, think about the girl to make some extra sacrifices, Debao for her, even the list that is about to arrive does not want.
If you change to Chunyan, you don't need Debao to protect her, she can beat others away by herself, Debao told the girl:
I brought you here today, just want you to eat something good, it is not easy to be the director of the factory, the factory elder said, as long as you invite more guests, drink ten times can become once, maybe this time this time and then drink can become, but I no matter what, I can not open you up!
After saying that, holding the girl and crying, the girl touched her head to comfort Debao, behaved intimately, indicating that the relationship between the two people is not simple, leaving Chunyan, Debao does not even have a residence, and the two have children, inside and outside a large family, can not be separated from Chunyan, but Debao is still derailed.
When a man wants to leave a woman, he will find an excuse to blame the woman for the mistake, because it will seem more reasonable, when Debao's father died, he found a reason to leave Chunyan, Chunyan did not give his father a beautiful funeral, and the two people were well known.
But debao's reason for divorce is not because of the woman, the soberness of the middle-aged man is fully revealed, he wants to divorce because of Chunyan himself, Debao told Bingkun:
That girl is very good, I and her also have a temper, but I will not divorce for this, daughter-in-law I can not, but the child I can not not, which head light which head is heavy I know, I am old and stubborn, since marriage, at home big things and small things I have to listen to ChunYan!
Debao has been tired of Chunyan, when he proposed divorce, he had already moved out to live, Chunyan was thinking of controlling Debao, but it did not mean that she did not love Debao, it is precisely because she loves Debao that she hopes that Debao will change into the way she likes, self-motivated, capable, and able to make a lot of money like Bingkun.
Marriage expert John Gray once said: "Once a woman falls in love with a man, she feels the need to help men grow and mature, so that men become more perfect, so they become a change master, but men are resistant and disgusted by this practice, and what they need is to be recognized and accepted by women." ”
Debao's trouble with the public is actually to show resistance to Chunyan, the two people have gone from the original inability to live a sexless marriage, Debao said that he has no feelings for Chunyan, but that is just angry words, Debao is angry:
The light piece upside down the door is my Cao Debao alone, I am poor and short-sighted, when you live in your parents' house. How much work and how much effort, I don't say, that should be, but I have to look at people's faces, live in your parents' house is like this, live in the house you share is still like this, I just think, you can see me work hard, we really change the heart, but I only understand today that the true heart can be exchanged for the gentleman,The villain can only be exchanged for the nose on the face, riding your neck to pull shit!
In marriage, the most common mistakes men and women make are trying to reform each other. But since ancient times, marriage will only allow a person to continue to show a more rough, clumsy side to the other half, Chunyan's idea of transforming Debao, from the beginning is wrong, because the more you want to transform, the more you will make the other party less dignified, Debao in Chunyan's strength, lost self-worth.
Therefore, he knows that he can't live without marriage, or he can't help but have a desire to protect the weaker female colleagues around him, because that can prove the value of his existence, this betrayal, is Debao's resistance to the long-term unequal marriage repression, but in the end the two people did not divorce, that is because Debao's work is not smooth, no house, no assets, if he is like Xu Huanshan in "Thirty Only" has money and financial ability, he will definitely choose to divorce.
The two sides are evenly matched and are an indispensable weight to maintain the continuation of the marriage
After all, Chunyan is a person who has been in the society for many years, all kinds of men she has seen, know how to do it is the most useful for Debao, Debao is so noisy, is not it because he feels that he is living a stubborn life, then Chunyan will satisfy Debao's vanity, after the two reconciled, Chunyan is pregnant, she speaks to Debao In a gentle tone, and will also be like a little woman to Debao to spoil, lying in his arms and crying.
But not long after the two reconciled, Debao was unemployed, before it was only the difference between work level and wage income, Debao's income was not high, but it was not completely dependent on women, but after the soy sauce factory closed, Debao completely became a man who ate soft rice, but this time it was okay, Debao did not eat soft rice with peace of mind, but did his duty as a logistics worker at home.
Debao told Chunyan that to eat soft rice, he had to eat soft rice, and he made the rice every day to wait for Chunyan to return, and gave Chunyan a shoulder and a back.
I remember once, Debao lost the invoice for eight hundred yuan because of his mother, Debao begged for Chunyan's head, Chunyan was wronged in the unit, and when he returned home, he dragged his legs, so angry that he beat Debao with his head covered, and Niu Niu calmly brought the dish to the other side and calmly finished eating. This is enough to see that Debao Chunyan is usually in such a state of strong women and weak men.
Mr. Lu Xun wrote in his only love novel, "Wounded Death": Love must go hand in hand, two people in love must be evenly matched, if only one person's clothes are beaten, that is, even if the warrior is difficult to fight, they have to perish together.
Chunyan is a strong woman, but women have to work hard in society, and all kinds of people to deal with, is not easy to do, no matter how much she loves Debao, if she is always dragged by Debao dragged by the corners of the clothes, then love will deteriorate, Chunyan was a very optimistic and cheerful girl when she was young, but after experiencing the ups and downs of life again and again, she was also changed by life.
If it is always a person who bears two families, then who will be crazy, once the love is lost, then it will change the taste, Chunyan is not willing to bear so much, so constantly entrust people to find a relationship to find a job for Debao, debao found a job that night, Chunyan was particularly gentle.
Her sudden gentleness and diligent dedication touched Debao, Debao took the initiative to say his relationship with the girl, Debao said that he may be moved, she has a good temperament, never rushed with him, Chunyan knew, immediately changed her posture, changed her initiative to passive:
I know that I have a bad temperament, I am anxious, often yell at you, you now have a job, the house is also solved, turn around to your mother to take eight hundred yuan, just say that the medical bill has been reported, I am fine, mainly the study of cattle and cows, there are two months on the college entrance examination, this is the most important moment in the life of cattle and cows!
Chun Yan this means of cunning, worthy of being the best among women, a few words to hold a man's key points, men in this life do not care most about their parents and children, Chun Yan saw very clearly, did not say anything to debao whole moved, realized the good of Chun Yan.
For the husband to cheat, if it is changed to an ordinary woman, it must be a cry, two troubles and three hangings, Chunyan usually looks very grinning, but the key moment is never used this low-level means, from the past Chunyan did not know that Debao was still so sought-after, but later knew that Debao had someone to remember, and became more and more aware of showing weakness.
Men often need to be exaggerated to change and mature, Debao got the appreciation and respect of Chunyan, the career also opened up, do not know what business to tinker, make a lot of money, although the original intention of the two people has changed, but the feelings and tacit understanding between husband and wife is getting deeper and deeper, the first half of life is passion, the middle is OK, the old age is inseparable from each other.
The greasiness of middle-aged women starts from stripping the husband's weaknesses naked, and in life, women with a strong and spicy personality like Chunyan often put the family in a low-pressure atmosphere for a long time.
Over time, this oppressive atmosphere has formed a "zero communication" and "cold violence" marriage vicious circle between husband and wife, marriage is facing a crisis, Chunyan is a smart person, know how to show weakness, but many families are broken because of women's knife mouth tofu heart, which is undoubtedly not worth the loss.