Overseas, many international students are not only students, but also shoulder the status of "husband", "wife", "father" and "mother".
We compiled a few of their short stories and completed a report on the incomplete married life of international students.
(Image source: Rice is too thin)
1.
Cathy is a beautiful girl who has been married for four years.
The year she graduated from college, she married her boyfriend of 5 years.
Her husband was her high school classmate.
After getting married, the two came to the United States together, in the same city and at the same university, and continued the life of a fairy couple.
Friends around me are very envious of Cathy:
She has a profession she loves, and a husband who is obedient to her.
It can't be more of a winner in life.
"What you see is only the surface."
At a girlfriend party, Cathy was slightly drunk,
"What is the use of your husband, it is the mother-in-law who determines your marital happiness index."
As soon as the words stopped, she looked up and took care of the cup of Mojito in her hand.
All of us were confused and wondered why she had popped up with such a sentence.
After all, in our opinion, Cathy's life, there is really nothing to complain about.
Are you so happy, still not satisfied?
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Maybe it's too long, and it's rare to get drunk,
Cathy continued with the previous words, and said all the resentment that had accumulated in her heart for a long time, against her mother-in-law.
Cathy's mother-in-law is a typical "little princess" character.
Because he is the youngest child in the family, he has been spoiled by his parents and relatives since he was a child.
After getting married, her husband was also obedient to her, which also created the self-centered personality of this "little princess mother-in-law".
Every time they go out to play, every time they go to a scenic spot, it is Cathy and her husband plus her father-in-law, and the three of them hold three different cameras in their hands and take a full-scale shot at Cathy's mother-in-law.
After the shooting, the mother-in-law came to accept everyone's works.
"Oh, the angle of this one is not good, you will make me thinner if you shoot me sideways."
"Oh, I didn't even float up this scarf!" Come and go, I'll go over and walk again, and you pay attention to grasping well. ”
Source: @Drama Peony
Cathy says the process is repeated every time it moves to a new photo spot.
"How hard I tried not to let my blank eyes fly out, you know?"
But even so, Cathy still followed her mother-in-law's request and never showed a trace of unhappiness or a word.
Even if the mother-in-law comes to the United States twice a year, no matter how many DDL there are to catch up with how much information to see, Cathy will still accompany her to shopping, eating, taking photos according to her mother-in-law's wishes.
until......
In the most recent year, Cathy's mother-in-law began forcing her to have children.
"I just started to study for a doctorate, it is the time when the pressure of schoolwork is high, and I am busy doing scientific research with my boss.
But the little princess and mother-in-law did not forgive,
"How long have you been married and haven't had children yet, like that?"
And while I'm in good health now, I can help you bring it, and drag it out for a few more years, who will help you with the children. ”
The thing that chilled Cathy the most was that her mother-in-law used the ultimate threat of killing: "If you don't have children now, we won't give you a green card." ”
Cathy's husband is an immigrant investor, so he is eligible to help his spouse apply for a green card.
But isn't this based on marriage, and why has it become a means for you to threaten me?
Cathy was angry, but filed for divorce,
"My own conditions are not bad, how to make it like I marry you to draw a card." It's disgusting! ”
Leaving is actually to keep.
When Cathy told her husband that she was going to divorce, she didn't really plan to leave him, after all, the feelings of the two children were still very deep.
As a result, her mother-in-law heard the news and couldn't help but call Cathy:
"Then please return the diamond ring that my son gave you."
Cathy was so angry that she vomited blood.
"Something's wrong, right?" I have never heard of a ring that can be returned.
I will definitely leave this marriage, and I am not attached to their family to live.
With such a mother-in-law, I really can't stand it for a day. ”
2.
(Image source: Inspiration Daily)
The 27-year-old Xiaoxi and her husband are undergraduate classmates at Beijing 985 University.
The two have been together since their freshman year, studying together and studying together, and learning love is not wrong.
After graduating from undergraduate, they did not break up after graduation, but received a license and went to graduate school together.
Xiao Xi also felt that they would always find a satisfactory job in China and gradually settle down to give birth to a cute baby.
Until the time of graduation, my husband held the mentality of trying it out and applied for the PhD program of Boston University in the United States.
Her husband consulted with Xiaoxi and said that he would not want her, or he would not go, and stay in Beijing to work with her.
Both are chemistry majors, and Konishi also knows that her husband wants to stay in school and become a teacher.
Going to the United States for a Ph.D. would be a rare opportunity on his academic path.
After thinking about it again and again, Xiaoxi sent a text message to her husband:
"Take the offer, I quit my job and go to the United States with you."
So Konishi went to the United States with F2 status.
The F2 visa is a accompanying visa, and according to the regulations, you cannot go out to work.
As a result, Konishi could only stay at home every day to cook and wash clothes.
The life of being a full-time housewife at home is initially leisurely and comfortable.
But as the days go by, Xiaoxi will also be depressed in her heart, and the main axis of her life has changed from herself to her husband.
Idle at home, every week when I video with my mother-in-law, I will be urged:
"It's better to have a baby at home than to do anything."
What defines her value seems to have changed from having a good character, education, and career to whether she is a qualified virtuous helper and reproductive tool.
Konishi wanted to refute it, but he didn't know what to say.
Yes, she really had nothing to do at home other than take care of her husband.
(Image source: pixabay)
So, Xiao Xi gave birth to their first baby.
After the baby was born, Xiaoxi's life was indeed full.
Every day at 6 o'clock on time to feed the baby, after coaxing the baby to sleep, Konishi began to prepare breakfast.
At 8 o'clock, the husband who sent him away had to start preparing complementary food for the baby, cleaning the diaper, teaching the baby to walk and talk, and busy all day.
Watching her baby grow up healthy day by day, she even began to feel that maybe this was the value of her life.
Subconsciously, Konishi told himself that the unwillingness and depression that sacrificed his ideals because of love had slowly disappeared.
But they have always been hidden in the depths of Konishi's heart.
Finally, at the turn of the eye, she could no longer fool herself.
That was the day she was in the circle of friends and saw that her former colleague had been promoted to department manager.
Colleagues are her contemporaries, and the two are of equal ability.
When Konishi resolutely decided to give up everything to accompany the study, colleagues said that they envied her courage to desperately do anything for love, and the envy of married happy women was revealed in her eyes.
But three years later, my colleague has become a strong woman, and she has a handsome and golden boyfriend, and her life is rich and exciting.
It is impossible to say that there is no ripple in the heart.
"If I hadn't given up everything I had in china for my husband, wouldn't my life have been different?"
Konishi doesn't know the answer either, because life has no ifs.
But she knew that she couldn't be as unafraid as she was when she texted her husband.
Xiao Xi only hopes that her husband can get his degree as soon as possible.
That way, whether they eventually choose to return home or stay in the United States, she can go out and find a job without being limited to identity issues.
3.
(Image source: Sina, @Alina-Jasmine)
Maria, 25, met her boyfriend at home.
One of the two is in graduate school in China, and the other is in chicago.
Love comes like dry firewood, and foreign countries can't stop the feelings of two people from continuing to heat up.
In order to no longer endure the time difference of more than ten hours, Maria applied for graduate school in her boyfriend's school after graduating from her master's degree in China, and received an offer as she wished.
The foreign country is very painful, but the foreign country also makes the two young hearts closer together.
When the test of this long-distance is finally over, both of them are very sure that the other person is the person they want.
So after Maria arrived in the United States, she quickly went to Chicago City Hall to get a permit.
Since then, we have lived a life of going to class to buy vegetables and cook together. But this happy day lasted only half a year.
Half a year later, the boyfriend graduated from graduate school.
Instead of being able to find his favorite job in Chicago, HR, a company based in New York, called.
Say they're happy with their boyfriend's performance in the interview and are willing to offer him this job offer. The place of work is New York.
Although there was ten thousand reluctance in the hearts of the two.
But they all know that they have no choice but to be a student.
If he chooses not to go, when the boyfriend's opt expires, he will have to return home, and what awaits them will be another foreign country.
As a result, newlyweds who have just finished a foreign country are about to embark on a journey away from home.
(Image source: PRINCEBLOG)
Maria says she has faith,
Because China has experienced foreign countries from the United States, what is the difference between Chicago and New York.
But after saying this, she cried,
Crying and saying that I don't know when such a fluttering day is a head.
My husband couldn't help but feel pain when he saw her crying, wanted to comfort a few words and didn't know what to say,
The mouth opened and closed, and I could only hug her and say,
"There is no other way now, for our future development,
Hold on a little longer, and when you graduate, you'll come to Work in New York, or if you want to go back to work, I'll follow you. ”
Maria nodded, looking at the man in front of her who was not good at words but would support her with practical actions every time.
She already knew that the illusory or rich and comfortable future seemed to be the source of her persistence.
However, the real motivation comes from her husband's comforting and heart-warming words, which is all she has to persevere.
"If he's good to me, I can see the future."
"Marriage for me is about finding the right person and being in the same boat with me."
4.
(Image source: wenzhaiba)
Vivian, 24, has been a warm and cheerful girl since she was a child, with her own familiar physique.
As a student of Politics in Pennsylvania, USA, she met the blonde American handsome guy in her class during a group project.
In their group, Vivian has always played the role of leader, responsible for coordinating the work of each team member, so there are many opportunities to contact other team members.
After coming and going, the little handsome American guy was gradually attracted to this girl with a pleasing personality and a caring personality, and the two soon lived together.
In their free time, the two will hike and snorkel together and run a marathon together.
Vivian will cook delicious Chinese food for her boyfriend, and her boyfriend will also get up early from time to time to make her omelette.
Although their first languages are not the same, it does not affect the growth of love.
Facing graduation, her American boyfriend found a job in Pennsylvania, and Vivian also found a professional-related internship in the community with excellent communication skills.
The nine-to-five days of working together also go by quickly. Since it is not a STEM major, OPT will expire in less than a year.
Although the community government recognized her ability to work, she could not apply for a work visa for Vivian.
Vivian told her boyfriend about her troubles, and she didn't expect that her boyfriend's first sentence was,
When we get married, you can apply for a green card.
(Image source: womany.net)
Although Vivian never thought that she would get married at such an early age, nor did she expect her boyfriend to answer himself in this way.
But thinking that the boyfriend is still good to himself,
It will also be much more convenient to stay in the United States with a green card.
With little hesitation, she went to town hall a week later to register her marriage.
After marriage, they still lived in their former apartment, busy working and carefully saving money.
The husband doesn't earn much, is a person who is content with the status quo and has fun in time, and the balance of the saving account in their common bank account has not grown for a long time.
Vivian's greatest wish is to have a home of his own after marriage, like his friends in China, rather than living in a rented place.
She no longer dared to be as lavish as before, because she knew that
My Own American in-laws would not sponsor them a penny on the issue of buying a house.
She said that if she gave herself another chance to choose, she might choose a Chinese boy to be with.
Because her girlfriends' Chinese husbands are "super heart-wrenching", China's mother-in-law will more or less give the little two some financial support.
"Maybe then I'll have a little easier life than I have now."
"My mom used to tell me that marriage wasn't just about two people, but now I probably kind of understand what she means."
"Not all couples have the ability to be alone in everything, and without the help of the family, we have to struggle for many more years than others."
Vivian said.
5.
Image source: beautiful pictures
Science and engineering schools, whether in the United States or China, there are fewer girls, and beautiful girls are even rarer.
Twisha is such a school flower level existence.
What's more, Twisha's face, even if it is placed in the news institute and Chinese department with many beautiful women, is definitely not lost.
So imagine what kind of life Twisha lived in school.
Image source: Chinoiserie
Soon, not long after graduate school started, Twisha was with a Chinese rich second-generation Xiaohai, who was also a prominent student at a state university in the United States.
The love between the two is particularly high-profile, and Twisha often posts various brand-name bags, jewelry and glittering watches sent to her by the second generation of the rich in the circle of friends, envying everyone.
When everyone thought that Twisha would walk happily with Xiao Hai,
Late one night, Twisha posted a photo of being proposed in the circle of friends. However, click on the big picture, the male protagonist here is not Xiao Hai!
Twisha's picture is accompanied by a paragraph of text,
The gist is to thank the male protagonist for so many years of companionship and dedication, the future will be good, this warm and touching words. At the end, here comes the sentence, "I love you, XXX." ”
This XXX is certainly not a small sea.
The onlookers said that this drama is really getting more and more incomprehensible.
Shouldn't it be Xiao Hai who proposes marriage? Where did this husband come from?
In the days that followed, Twisha never seemed to be in and out of school with Xiao Hai again.
Later, I learned that Twisha and her husband had long been engaged, but they still frequently hooked up with small fresh meat and small milk dogs at school. It's not just Xiaohai who's hooked.
They are all engaged, but they still have a restless heart.
Maybe Twisha enjoyed the game, but turned the other two into fools, or was kept in the dark, or suddenly received a sunny thunderbolt late one night.
But Twisha seemed genuinely indifferent to all of this.
Like she once said,
"The moral yardstick in everyone's heart is not the same, I don't like to judge other people's lives, and you don't need to judge me."
I just feel that although I am married, I am not going to give up the opportunity to get better.
I don't reject things that are better or more attractive to me. The same is true of people. ”
Source: Sina Blog
So getting married means stepping into the world of drama?
Not so does it seem.
Blandness and triviality are the main themes of married life told me by the vast majority of married international student friends.
Source: Small fresh circle
After a day of class, I was exhausted when I came home.
Pushing open the door, the kitchen is haunted by the aroma and heat of food.
In the outside world, like a strong woman, the sky is not afraid.
But when he got home, he faced him, and in an instant, he removed his armor and talked to him like a child about the trivialities of the day.
When he is angry in the unit, he can listen to your complaints, accompany you to scold, and give you comfort.
There may be a lot of quarrels, there may be moments of mutual disgust,
But you always live with confidence, because you know that no matter what, you still have him with you.
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As a result, you will find that this blandness and triviality actually contains a lot.
Respect and trust, the alignment of values, the exchange of the spiritual world, the belief in identifying each other, and the firmness of mutual support through a lifetime.
The married life of international students is no more than the marriage of their peers in China.
Some people are happy and some people are confused.
We are all mortals, longing for a paradise of gods and goddesses, and obsessed with the fireworks of the world.
So we looked everywhere, hit walls everywhere, and gave our hearts.
In order to come alone, to walk with a heart full of heart.
May all international students who have paid their hearts can find their own happy siege.