Wen | the history of the four seasons
The story of the "Three Migrations of MengMu" is widely spread in China, from children to white-bearded old people, who are very familiar with this story.
Liu of the Western Han Dynasty told the "Biography of the Daughters of Lie, Volume I, Mother's Yi": "Mencius was born with a lady," and was taught by the three migrations of the loving mother at a young age. ”
Familiar with the content of this allusion, we all know that Meng Mu moved her house three times for her son Meng Ke to have a good educational environment (in fact, there are more than three moves, there are several relocations). It can be seen that parents have good intentions in educating their children.
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As we all know, family education culture is an important position that is different from social education culture and school education culture. However, at present, our family education culture may have more or more or there are undesirable tendencies such as biased educational subjects and value pursuits, which have a certain impact on the physical and mental health of our children. Today, let's talk about the lack of family education culture in modern society.
The main content of family education culture.
In my opinion, family education culture has always included the following three aspects:
1. Traditional culture education.
Chinese culture has been around for 5,000 years, of which traditional culture is an important part of family education culture and has always been valued by many families. Traditional family education culture covers filial piety culture, gentleman culture, moral customs, etc., these excellent traditional cultures are the essence of history precipitation, and have been well inherited and developed. The family education of traditional culture is to use these traditional classics to continuously influence and edify children, so that they can understand traditional culture and inherit traditional culture while developing physically and mentally.
Since the 21st century, traditional culture education has attracted more and more attention, from the masters of traditional Chinese studies to traditional education and training, from hundreds of pulpits to the words and lines of textbooks, traditional culture education has continued to heat up. It can be seen that in our family education, we must not ignore traditional cultural education.
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2. Social cognition education.
Cognitive education is with the development of society, children's views and thinking about the things around them. Social cognitive education also includes many contents, such as behavior, verbal expressions to others, interpersonal relationships, and so on. Harmonious behavior and healthy interpersonal communication are conducive to the healthy development of children's physical and mental health, so in family education, effective cognitive education guidance can make children better understand society and integrate into society.
3. Psycho-educational counseling.
There is also an indispensable part of the family education culture, that is, psychological counseling and help. In view of the characteristics of children's physical and mental development, they will inevitably encounter psychological contradictions or misunderstandings of one kind or another in their learning and life, and the psychological counseling and help of parents is particularly important. Especially in the current development of a diversified society, all kinds of information are filled with children, so it is necessary to provide reasonable psychological counseling and help for children to help them get out of cognitive misunderstandings as soon as possible.
Missing manifestations.
1. "Absence of the main body" is more common.
The Three Character Sutra has a cloud: "If you do not teach, it is the fault of the father." "Since ancient times, fathers have played an important role in the process of children's education, and they mainly educate their children's character in family education culture.
Zhuge Liang wrote in the Book of Commandments: "The journey of a husband and a gentleman is to cultivate oneself quietly, to cultivate virtue by frugality, and to have no clear aspirations without being a tranquil being." ”
Sima Guang once admonished his son: "Eat abundant and give birth to luxury, and be generous and extravagant", "from frugality to luxury, from luxury to frugality." ”
It can be seen that the role of fathers in raising and educating children cannot be underestimated. However, in many modern families, the lack of father's education is very common. Even since the Ming and Qing dynasties, the phenomenon of mothers taking care of children is very obvious, and the absence of fathers has led to the lack of family education subjects, affecting the healthy development of children.
Sima Guang
2. The "lack of content" cannot be ignored.
Family education culture is all-encompassing, and the content is either single or overloaded, which is the misunderstanding of family education. In ancient family education, limited by the limitations of the times, parents in addition to educating their children on the way to behave in the world, but also wanted to train their children to change the fate of the family through the examination.
Modern family education culture is different from the ancients, not only rich in content but also varied. The cultural content of family education is diversified and diversified. In order not to let their children lose on the so-called "starting line", many parents let their children apply for various learning tutoring classes and interest classes, and arrange their spare time to be full.
Poor parents in the world, when we report various classes for our children, have we considered the characteristics of children's physical and mental development, and whether we have carefully entered the inner world of children to listen to their true feelings. They are not machines, we can not interfere and dominate all of them too much, can not let the child have no respite, can not ignore the connotation of family education, and can not violate the natural law of child growth.
3. The "lack of pursuit" is contrary to the original intention.
It is the wish of each of our parents to hope that children will be aspiring young people. However, in the family education culture, many parents have high expectations of their children, while requiring them to be inspired to learn, while asking them to be more interested in development; on the one hand, children have noble moral sentiments, and on the other hand, they are asked to take various shortcuts in life.
"Thunder and thunder are a blessing in disguise." What we adults pursue is often very different from that of children, and we cannot ask children with adult things and arrange everything for them. After walking through the wind and rain to see the rainbow, the necessary process must be experienced by them and let them experience, so that they can be fearless and go further on the child's future growth path.
Solve the countermeasures and watch over the original intention.
One is to know what your child needs.
Parents re-examine the subject of our education. The fact that the main body of education is not missing or absent is the top priority of family education culture. Parents are the child's first enlightenment teacher, and the joint companionship of parents is the key to children's growth. Fathers and mothers should spend more time with their children, more family education and parent-child activities, so that children can feel the warmth of home and the love of their parents, and cultivate his sound personality.
The second is to be clear about what we have all given.
We can't blindly "fancy class" for children. Children are independent individuals and have an equal relationship with us, and we must also learn to respect children and build a platform for "equal dialogue". Children's normal classroom learning is the most scientific arrangement, we can not only look at academic achievements and ignore children's amateur life, can not replace virtue with achievements.
While learning is important, amateur play and rest are equally essential. Our child is like a small tree, excessive artificial modification, is not conducive to his growth, but also contrary to the original intention of our family education culture.
The third is to examine what we ourselves are missing.
As the main body of family education, we must also learn to be grateful and cherished.
Children are the most active factors in our family and a source of happiness. In addition to spending more time with children, we must also continue to learn and understand the inner world of children. We can't always put "you look at the child next door" on the lips, on the one hand, we can't let the children grow under our wings, we must also let them go further and more firmly under our correct guidance.