Text/Tang Ruo
Tang Ruoxin learns original works, and those who violate them will be investigated
In life, many people's pain and internal friction are essentially caused by not knowing how to reconcile with themselves, when you know how to reconcile with yourself, your life channel will continue to open, and naturally your potential will be fully released.
So how to reconcile with ourselves, we remember three key points, and our lives will be open.
First, adjust the expectation and lower the expectation
I have found in the consultation process with many students that most of the confusion of many students comes from high expectations, which is the key to our internal friction and internal volume, and it is also the key to the conflict between our relationship with others.
A student once told me that he was always dissatisfied with his parents, felt that his parents were not as powerful as other people's parents, and even once blamed his parents.
But what we need to understand is that it is not their fault that our parents did not love us the way we expected them to be, but that this is the pattern they have been accustomed to for many years.
Lowering expectations of those around you is always the best way to reconcile with yourself. Because when you lower your expectations of your parents, you will find that your parents do not owe us, and his raising of us is his greatest credit.
Others have expectations of their lovers, and when you always want others to treat you the way you do, you can easily fall into a pattern of self-harm.
Only by deeply understanding each other's reaction patterns and the way people are, and no longer expecting others to treat us the way we want, can we truly reconcile with the external environment.
Only then will we understand that no longer treating ourselves according to the expectations of others is also the key to our transition from individual center to collective center, and it is also the key to our small self to big self.
Good growth is the process of crossing the ego. As one online writer said, one day, when you understand that you're not the center of the world, you start to really grow.
For more articles on self-growth and self-improvement, you can follow my column, from the mentality, thinking, habits, relationships, cognition and other dimensions to help you rebuild your inner strong self in a complex jungle world.
Second, accept yourself and stop attacking yourself
If we want to reconcile with ourselves, the important way we need to learn is to know how to accept ourselves, and the vast majority of people's troubles come from our lack of understanding of true self-care.
Once, in the process of consulting with me, a trainee kept saying that she was not good, thinking that she was not good, that it was not good.
Once a person attacks himself too hard, he can not only help us solve the problem, but also cannot help us improve ourselves.
Many people may ask me, we are Chinese used to introspection, is this way of reflection bad, in fact, self-attack is not the best way to reflect.
If we want true self-reflection, the most important thing is to learn to accept ourselves, believe in ourselves, and then choose a growth mindset to treat ourselves.
When you know how to treat yourself with a growth mindset, your life will continue to open up, rather than denying yourself at any time. The essence of self-acceptance is to understand that life is a process of continuous shaping, not a process of denying oneself.
Life is a self-confidence, self-remodeling, self-reconstruction of the underlying law, when you master this underlying law, you may understand that if we want to reconcile with the self, please stop attacking ourselves, but really think about the direction of self-optimization, on the basis of self-optimization, see more potential and potential of life.
Third, the essence of self-reconciliation is a return to the present
The essence of our inability to reconcile ourselves is that we spend too much time worrying about the past, or spending too much time worrying about the future.
This fear of the past and the future not only fails to reconcile our lives, but drags our lives into a worse situation.
The reason why we are too anxious is essentially caused by the habitual thinking of the brain, the brain has evolved over thousands of years, habitual anxiety is often due to the pressure of the past environment, but this anxiety not only does not prompt us to act, but will weaken our action.
And the real reconciliation is to return to the present moment and see the life of the self from the present moment. When we stop attacking ourselves, when we live in the present moment with our hearts, you see more aspects of the self than just one aspect.
We are also anxious because we identify with the fears created at the level of our brains, but returning to the present moment, we can break the fears and worries of our minds through the present moment, which is the key to our reconciliation with ourselves.
Learning to reconcile with ourselves is essentially about starting to disagree with the fears created by the brain, but understanding that we can create more opportunities and possibilities in the present moment, thereby activating the creativity of our brains and helping us to emerge from the worried environment of the brain.
The growth of life must learn to reconcile with the self, which is the key to ensuring the unity of body and mind, and it is also the self to move to a higher state, when your life and the external environment reach unity, your life will also create more wonderful because of the present.
Today's topic: Do you think how to activate your inner potential needs to reconcile with yourself, welcome to discuss and communicate.