In the past Lunar New Year, have you been urged to get married?
After the end of the year, many older single young people seem to be relieved: finally there is no need to be "urged to marry".
For single men and women of marriageable age, it is really not an easy task to find a suitable partner.
And the most direct and effective way is to "blind date".
There is a young man in Shandong, 36 years old this year, but the record of blind dates is as high as 124 times!
His name is Xiao Li, he graduated from 985 university and is a master's degree returnee from the world's top 50 schools. His resume is very good, he was born in Xiangmendi, and after returning to China, he worked as a teacher in a provincial college. The school district has a house and a car, and in the blind date market, it is definitely a resource with excellent conditions.
However, Xiao Li has gone on blind dates 124 times in 8 years, but none of them have been successful.
Due to the excessive frequency of blind dates, Xiao Li also deliberately made a special "folder" for each object to record the personal information of each girl.
In his computer, the information of the girls was arranged in a neat and orderly manner, and at first glance, it seemed that it was a file of a work project.
Xiao Li explained that he made a blind date list in order to avoid meeting the same person again.
The author feels that the work of blind dates is like a transaction, without emotion.
When a blind date has formed a "resume" and measured in the form of data and materialization, they are no longer a person with affection and love and temperature, but more like a business.
Based on this starting point, Xiao Li is also full of setbacks on the way to find an object.
Their own conditions are better, the starting point is also higher, and they naturally hope to find a person with the right door. Therefore, they will screen blind dates with scrutiny and critical eyes, and they cannot let themselves "suffer losses".
In fact, as soon as Xiao Li graduated, he was urged by his family to "find a partner". Relatives have Xiao Li's personal information and photos in their mobile phones, "recommend" when they see the right person, collect information about various girls, and then arrange blind dates after collective screening.
It's like a talent contest, with guests, judges, directors, but no love.
So, what kind of attitude does Xiao Li have towards this?
After all, the major events of life are their own personal affairs, and they should be decided by themselves.
However, Xiao Li is an introverted boy, he is shy, his social circle is relatively narrow, and he does not have a strong opinion on life events. Therefore, he did not resist being arranged for a blind date, but followed the advice of his family.
In the process of blind date, he also met a girl who was very impressed.
It was 2014, and Xiao Li went on a blind date for the first time under the arrangement of his family. This girl is not only beautiful, but also very mature, enterprising, working as a counselor in college, and Xiao Li's job is very compatible.
The girl had a good impression of Xiao Li, but in the end, Xiao Li gave up pursuing her.
The reason is that Xiao Li feels that the other party is too good and he is not worthy.
"When I was with her, I had the feeling that a novice who had just built a number had met a full-fledged boss, which was too unequal." This is Xiao Li's original words.
In fact, Xiao Li also has experience in love, and the other party is a psychologist.
This is the girl that Xiao Li has been dating for the longest time, and the two have been together for 7 months. But after holding hands, after a long time, the other party cooled down on himself again.
Therefore, Xiao Li proposed to break up.
Xiao Li also had a blind date with a female executive, who was fierce and very leadership. However, when the other party offered to meet the parents of both sides, Xiao Li flinched again. Because, he felt, there was a "sense of panic that the future is not something he can grasp."
In this way, Xiao Li's blind date road became more and more bumpy, until he became numb.
After too many blind dates, people become numb and become a ritual activity.
Many blind dates are in a hurry to meet each other, and there is no follow-up. At most, he kissed 3 girls a day. Over the years, the money spent on blind date dinner has also reached nearly 20,000 yuan.
"I'm ready to be single for the rest of my life. While this is not a good choice, it is not unacceptable. Xiao Li said.
As he grew older, Xiao Li gradually became "casual". Usually, he likes to raise fish and raise flowers, in his words, it is "retirement mentality".
The 124 blind dates that Xiao Li just broke up with ended after only three months of dating.
Just after Valentine's Day, a friend introduced him to the 125th blind date...
Xiao Li is 36 years old, and many girls who have been blind dated have long been married and have children, but he is still single.
The family is gradually "urging" not to move, the requirements for blind dates are also relaxed a lot, the conditions of the woman are not mandatory, and only hope that the son will start a family as soon as possible.
Write at the end:
In this regard, Bai Xiaojing talked about her views.
Xiao Li went on so many blind dates, and finally failed, and must be inseparable from his own personality.
Although he has good conditions in all aspects, his personality is relatively weak, and he has been a well-behaved boy since he was a child, and he has been strictly restrained by his parents. Therefore, it is not difficult to see that from study to work, there are family arrangements along the way, and almost all decisions are intervened by parents.
Xiao Li himself is not rebellious, and belongs to the type of rebellion. Therefore, he is very dependent on his family and does not have the ability to make decisions independently.
Based on this personality, on the road of marriage, he is always hesitant, lacks self-confidence, and is afraid of rejection and hurt. At the same time, as a male with superior conditions, Xiao Li also hopes to dominate once in his feelings, so his personality also carries a hint of machismo. For women who are "too good", he will feel uncontrollable, so he will also shrink back and dare not cross the thunder pool.
In addition to personality factors, there are also problems with Xiao Li's blind date.
Marriage and love, door to door is important, but more importantly, whether there is a feeling between two people.
Strong twisted melon is not sweet, marriage is not a business, nor is it the superposition and screening of various conditions, if the marriage is over-standardized, then it will only dilute the magnetic field of two people and weaken the depth of mutual communication.
From the beginning, interacting like an interview, such a way will inevitably become a spiritual barrier.
Over time, blind dates have become routine processes, and it is difficult to have a feeling of heartbeat.
The human heart has become numb and has no interest in anyone. Isn't that more than worth the loss?
In the end, Xiao Li still lacks a little fate.
In fact, the encounter between two people, in addition to being related to their own personality, also depends on fate.
Many times, we will attribute the problem to external conditions, but in fact, whether you can fall in love with someone depends on the probability of two suitable people meeting.
Some people are lucky to meet the right person in the vast sea of people; some people are not so lucky, stumbling all the way and missing all the way.
There is also a situation, that is, always try to find the most suitable, but in the end can only be the worst one.
Sometimes, fate also requires some impulse, courage, do not expect everything to be perfect, when you are in the pursuit of "the best", often push away the good fate.
When the cost of time sinks, the age becomes older, the advantage gradually decreases, in order to complete the task of marriage, many people can only seek perfection and spend the rest of their lives with a small object.
What are your thoughts on this? Welcome to leave a message and discuss together.
Image source: Network
Source: Guangming Network
[I am Bai Xiaojing, who likes to fall in love with life, be an interesting person, and write words with temperature. Welcome to share your unique perspective and collide ideas together. 】