| Imidodo
If it is between acquaintances, too enthusiastic about people, too close, it is simply a disaster, you are too enthusiastic, without reservation others will think that you are very good at talking, at any time may look for you to help, or look for you to borrow money, ah, what do you do? If you don't help or borrow money at this time, others will think that your previous enthusiasm is disguised and false.
What do you do at this time? Will you be in a dilemma? Originally did not want to lend money out, but to lend money out, you have to go against your own will, but also afraid that others will not pay back, you do not want to lend money to friends, and at the same time embarrassed to refuse, at this time only you are uncomfortable.
I had this experience, when I had a very good friend, a friend who had been friends for many years, who met almost every day at that time, talked about everything, although I rarely bothered her, but I was responsive to her needs, sometimes even against my own interests, I would help her. Even if you are a good friend and suffer more losses, your heart will gradually lose its balance.
At this time, you should think about it, why do others dare to do this to you, dare to trouble you again and again, and still have no appreciation? Can someone else be blamed for this? It is true that others are insatiable, but the real blame is still to blame themselves for not having a bottom line, getting too close to others, and having no sense of boundaries.
If you establish boundaries at the beginning, have your own bottom line, and refuse all unreasonable demands, others will not take advantage of you again and again. Excessive enthusiasm is no sense of boundaries, and if the standard of enthusiasm is not well grasped, it will become suicidal socialization.
If people get too close to each other, the more obvious the differences will be, and then all kinds of contradictions will come out. Everyone has their own secrets that they don't want to tell, as well as private areas that they don't want others to get involved in. Some people will dig up your secrets in the name of caring, step into your private area to satisfy their curiosity. You are reluctant to reveal secrets out of self-preservation, but are considered unsympathetic.
For example, in the beginning, when two people get better, they are eager to wear a pair of pants, your business is my business, and after turning over, they will not greet each other, how close they are at that time, and how embarrassing it is when they turn their faces later. Both sides feel hurt, both sides will have this kind of thought, how can I be blind, would know someone like you.
There is a kind of good person who always likes to kidnap others with "kindness", and always makes clever remarks: I am for your own good, why are you like this, why are you not appreciative? In fact, it is an emotional manipulation, under the guise of kindness, to control others. As soon as others didn't listen to him, they started to turn their faces here. But the guise of "kindness" has no sense of proportion, which cannot hide the fact that it has crossed the line.
Life, each has its own way to go, the so-called correct road, everyone's experience is different, so the choice will not be the same, never put the foot to other people's shoes, give others directions, point fingers at other people's lives. Even in the most intimate relationship, you have no right to interfere in other people's lives.
Accepting different points of view and allowing others to differ from yourself, Confucius once said: "Gentlemen are harmonious but different." It is such a truth, do not deny what others like, respect other people's hobbies and interests, truly intelligent people will never only stand in their own point of view to deny others.
Don't think that they are all friends, they have no sense of boundaries, they all say their secrets to the outside, and other people's secrets are always curious to inquire. If a person reveals his secret, it will be difficult for this heart to be at peace in the future. This friend's relationship is also at an end.
There is a saying: "Those who know do not have to say everything, and those who say everything they say are without friends; those who blame do not have to be harsh, and they are harsh and conscientious." Seven points of words, not revealing people's shortness, not speaking privately, saving face for others; leaving room for yourself, leaving room for each other to have freedom, is the most relaxed way to get along.
Life is short, and I encourage you with the king.