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The end of the universe is the compilation. According to statistics, nearly 70% of Tsinghua Peking University graduates choose to enter the system, with 1.57 million applicants for the national examination in 2021 and 5.37 million applicants for the provincial examination. In order to go ashore, many young people repeatedly failed the exam until the age of 35 came. 35 years old is the age line for civil servants to apply for the examination.
The protagonist of this article is an over-aged public examiner with a 12-year career as an examiner, but he ultimately failed to enter the system. In the fourth-tier cities in the northeast where he lives, civil servant status means face, iron rice bowl, and the expectations of parents and relatives.
Here's what he had to say:
In April 2008, I took the civil service exam for the first time. In my 12-year career, this was the best result.
The road to the examination was arranged for me by my father. His family of six brothers and sisters, five civil servants, and one teacher, all within the system. The highest-ranking is the boss, who served as deputy secretary of the northeast city's deputy secretary. My dad worked in the Municipal Health Bureau for most of his life, and until he retired, he was only a full-fledged department.
If it weren't for the fact that uncle later fell off the horse and went to prison, when I graduated, he would arrange a job for me, which was probably a very easy task.
When I decided to take the exam, I had not yet left the school, there was no distraction, and my study status remained good. Near graduation, there were not many classes to attend, so I bought a few books, went to the library as soon as I had time, and carefully reviewed the civil service exam. On that occasion, I reported to the Industrial and Commercial Bureau in Harbin, the provincial capital, and the number of competitors for the same post was less than a hundred.
There are many civil servants in the family, and this status does not have much aura for me, just a way out of employment. If you can't pass the test, it is completely inappropriate. In contrast, I would like to rely on my own professional electronic information engineering and go out and work hard.
But in my father's eyes, enterprises are small and not pension, where there is stability in the system, there are titles, there are establishments, retirement, wages are also guaranteed. Officials don't have to be big, at least for a lifetime. If you do not seek merit, but seek no fault, you can spend your life quietly in the system. He often said that when working in government agencies and units, your every move represents the country, and you must be careful everywhere.
I think that his character of hiding in case of trouble and never daring to come out is to survive in the unit. Although nothing can be done, the popularity is always good, and no one can be offended. My mom and I have long agreed on this.
In 2008, the public's enthusiasm for the examination was not very high, and most of them held the mentality of trying, and even had a naked examination. On the day of the exam, the sparse candidates entered the venue one after another, with a loose look and few solemn expressions. The promotional cards issued at the door, no one will pick up and sweep their eyes. The whole atmosphere is like coming through the motions, and then doing whatever you want.
After the list was released, I took the fifth place with more than 80 points, and I was two places behind the interview.
In July 2008, I graduated from an ordinary undergraduate school in the city, which coincided with the outbreak of the financial crisis, and in the general environment, the electronics factory either closed down or laid off employees.
I walked around the south and was hired by a factory in Suzhou that produced cameras. Starting as an apprentice, the monthly salary is 1,200. Because there were no orders, workers yawned on the assembly line all day long, and the factory had to organize employees to study and live in order to win people's hearts.
One day three months later, the manager informed us that the factory was out of production and that everyone should find another way to make a living.
I have asked some students in the same major that some people's factories cannot be paid, and they rely on their families to make money; some people simply go home and review the examination and research. In the first year of graduation, everyone's situation was not very good, but few people chose to take the exam.
During the Spring Festival family dinner, the second uncle heard that I had difficulty in employment and wanted to help me find a job through relationships. At the end of the year, I went to Qingdao to work as an electrician in a processing plant that produced collagen. The second uncle is an old businessman with a wide network of contacts, and the big things and small things in the family can always help. The general manager of this enterprise is the sister of the second uncle's classmate.
Originally, my major was weak current, but when I got here, I began to learn strong electricity from scratch with my master. A few months later, the supervisor said to me, "Don't do this here, follow us to Shanghai and take you to see the world." "So, I moved from Qingdao to Shanghai and started sales.
I'm a northerner, one meter eight tall, and I look good. When I went to sell products, the lady owners of the beauty salons were very happy to see me. When I opened the product and drank it, I smiled directly: "This taste is also too rushed." She knew it wouldn't be easy for us to do this, and out of courtesy, she kept a few boxes. The staff of the team are all transferred from the factory, some are engaged in biotechnology, some are engaged in electronics, that is, no one understands sales. The business is not going well.
Half a year later, I had to return to Qingdao from Shanghai and continue working as an electrician.
My master is a very hard worker, and he is willing to teach me any skills. One day, he cut his hand because of a work mistake and sought compensation from the company. As a result, the director of the factory did not say a word of affection, directly drove him away, and did not even agree to the minimum retention for recuperation. The director of the factory, it turned out that Sanlu Milk Powder was in charge of the production process, and after the trichlorocyanamide incident was exposed, he hid from us.
At that time, I was an angry youth, and I was not used to the company using employees as tools, rabbits and dogs cooked, and simply resigned. After tossing and turning outside for two years, still unable to find a suitable way, I began to have the idea of entering the system. At the very least, the system will not ignore things and casually leave people behind.
My dad was timid and afraid of things, and in order to arrange work for me, he still used his colleague relationship. At the beginning of 2010, after being advised by my family, I taught myself accounting for a month, took the accounting certificate, and then was sent to the finance department of a directly subordinate hospital.
The hospital is located in the county seat around the city. At that time, I didn't know much about the system, only that I finally had a formal job, and I wanted to work hard and strive to fix the post. As soon as I entered, I learned to do accounting with the old finance, and among the three new people in the same batch, I came first and was the only one with an accounting certificate. I thought that in the future, I would do the work of accounting, and I would definitely take it.
But a month later, the section chief directly handed over the work to another fresh graduate, who was not from a professional background and did not have an accounting certificate. His family is the station manager of the blood bank, which belongs to the same system as the hospital and is closer.
In this regard, the section chief's explanation is that one person does it for one year, and it takes turns. Since then, my job has become a miscellaneous and ticket-affixing. By the second year, she never mentioned working in shifts. What I wanted to do, the section chief never handed over to me. My dad said, "It's normal for you to be bullied from an outside, you have to start from the basics, and if you sweep the floor, you have to go." ”
The office efficiency of the department is very low, sometimes it takes a number, which can drag on for half a month. Looking back, it seems that this month has done such a thing, and the days are worn out day by day.
When I was an apprentice in the Qingdao factory, I worked very energetically every day, knowing what knowledge needed to be mastered, and I could see what those high-end engineers would do, and the clear goal was in front of me. When I arrived at the hospital, I felt that the whole person had been in a state of suspension, with a lot of blood in the air, but I didn't know where to spill it.
During that time, I was often anxious to sleep at night, thinking about how to make the leader like me, and then, entrusting me with technical work, letting me learn something and realize some value.
The picture | streets of northeastern cities
In 2011, I took the junior accounting certificate by self-study, and my colleagues with professional backgrounds in the department did not have high scores than me. This still did not change the opinion of the section chief on me, she felt that I was all rote memorization, a student of electronics, and there was no practical experience in the exam. She was a woman in her forties, who had suffered a lot in the hospital before she became section chief, and now that she had turned over, she had passed on the habit of suppressing her subordinates.
Unexpectedly, she didn't give me work to do, and even thought about how to trip me up every day.
In June 2012, the above sent people down to audit the accounts of the hospital's state-owned fixed assets, and finally found that the state allocated money to the hospital to do house reconstruction, the old house was demolished, but the new house was not built, directly accountable to the hospital leaders. The section chief walked into the office, pointed at me and asked, "Are you responsible for fixed assets?" What's going on? ”
I know that there are many interests involved in this, no one likes to carry this pot, and the colleague who took over the account repeatedly invited me to eat, drink, bathe, and fooled me into taking fixed assets. I've always had an eye on it.
In the face of the section chief's rebuke, I denied on the spot: "How can I take over the work?" I just cooperated in making the number, and the person who finally confirmed the signature was still the colleague. The section chief and colleagues listened, stunned for half a day, and their faces were pulled down. She wanted to throw the pot at me, but she couldn't say it directly on her face, so angry that she couldn't speak.
This offended the section chief, and I was even more marginalized in the department, and I was often "wearing small shoes". When I had nothing to do, I played games in the office, and my will was consumed little by little.
I was originally a very clean and sharp young man, and after two years in the hospital, people became more and more sloppy. Every day when I go to work, I can't see hope, and I am afraid that the section chief will find trouble. Even if it wasn't within my scope of work, she would point to me, "You go for that," in a tone that was like saying, "You only deserve to do this."
Later, I couldn't bear it anymore, ran to the section chief's office, and argued happily: "What do you mean?" The New Year's Festival is not bad for you, why bully me so much? If it weren't for the sake of waiting for a choreographer, do you think I would be willing to do it with you? ”
A group of colleagues rushed to persuade them to fight. As a result, I was transferred from the Finance Section to the Instruments Section.
In December 2014, according to the process, it was time for me to distribute the preparation. However, at this juncture, the chief of the finance section and the chief of the personnel section jointly set a provision - five years after joining the company can be issued, and I am just one year away. Another colleague who came later than me had a normal haircut, and his grandfather turned out to be the director of the hospital.
I was anxious to call my dad, and his answer was, "The policy changes every year." ”
After four years in the hospital, I understood one thing, the so-called unit, that is, people are more than doing things, it is not like a company, thinking about teaching you how to do a good job, but to see what background you have behind it. If the relationship is not hard enough, don't want to lie down comfortably.
At the end of the year, I left the hospital and went home, just in my thirties.
The disappointment with the unit did not completely extinguish my yearning for civil servants. This stemmed from the fact that when I later joined the trade union, I was attracted by the atmosphere of the government unit.
It has been seven years since I graduated from college, and I have basically returned all my majors to the teachers, and I have not been given the opportunity to practice this craft. In front of us, there seems to be only one road that does not have high professional requirements: examination for public office.
In April 2015, I sat in the university library and looked around, at least 20 people holding the "Line Test" in their hands, and tutoring classes specifically for the examination began to rise around the school. During the lunch meal, I can often see that in the 100-square-meter store, the black pressure is full of people studying for the examination, they are facing the screen, listening intently to the explanation.
The popularity of the examination is no longer what it used to be.
After enrolling in the class, I found that they had studied the problem so thoroughly. For example, some math problem types don't have to be calculated at all, as I did before, but through the method of elimination, find the right option as quickly as possible. That year, I took two exams, one provincial exam and one national exam, and the results were not satisfactory. The short board lies in the subject of Shen Theory, which is only more than 40 points.
In order to improve the writing level of Shen Theory, I deliberately took the public welfare post of the municipal trade union, and exercised the ability to write materials while working. You can also earn a salary of more than a thousand a month.
In the government building, there is a harmonious atmosphere everywhere, everyone will deliberately avoid contradictions, and there is a high-quality decency. I know that this harmony comes from their identity with each other: you are a civil servant, I am also a civil servant, we are a system.
Harmony is only briefly broken during meals in the cafeteria. As soon as the gate opened, people blocked outside rushed into the canteen, grabbing their favorite dishes, pot wrapped meat, slipped meat segments, stewed fish, stewed chicken, cold noodles, mixed vegetables, steamed buns, rice porridge, fruits... The food was quite good.
There is also a special badminton hall in the building, which can only be entered by civil servants by card. After being a referee at a department game, I fell madly in love with the sport, and badminton was the outlet for confidence and relief when I was not satisfied. At first, I was led into the museum by my colleagues, and over time, the people who looked at the door thought I was a regular employee, and never stopped me without swiping my card.
I was deeply attracted by the warm atmosphere and this was exactly the environment I wanted to work in. Therefore, I have strengthened my determination to take the exam.
The chief of the union section was a woman in her forties, with a kind personality, who never spoke to her subordinates in a commanding tone, and did not have a little shelf. She was very supportive of my civil service examination and allowed me to take out the materials to review in the office when I was not busy. After work and on weekends, I drove to the university library to do questions and concentrate on preparing for the exam.
Figure | my exam review materials
After three months of review, in December 2016, when the national examination began, I applied to the city's tax bureau, and by this time, the number of competitors for a post had reached more than two hundred. Although I played well and got a score of 120 points, I only finished fifth and did not enter the interview.
I really feel that the question type of the exam is getting harder. As can be seen from the list, the scores of the top few are very tight and cannot be relaxed.
At that time, not many people knew about public welfare positions, as long as I said that I worked in the union, the outside world would almost always acquiesce, I was a civil servant. In this small northeastern city with few enterprises, I gradually experienced the respect and gentle treatment brought about by the status of a civil servant.
Once I went to the Human Resources and Social Security Bureau to do things, and asked how to go to the office of the chief of the window personnel section, and he waved his hand: "You go up to the back and line up." Then, I indicated that I was from the union and came to deliver the materials, and the other party's attitude immediately became mild: "Ah, ah, so, that you get on the elevator from here to the fifth floor..."
Another time, when I was going to the traffic police detachment to deliver the red-headed documents for the meeting, the security guard at the registration office learned that I had come to look for their director, looked at me alertly, and forcefully threw out a sentence: "He is not there." ”
I said, I'm a unionist, and if he's not there, you can help me give him this material.
When this young man in his early twenties heard this, he instantly changed his personality: "Ah, he is here, you can give it to me, I promise to send it personally, and when I'm done, I'll let him call the union." ”
Out of self-preservation and self-esteem, I was once a full-fledged civil servant and desperate to turn it into a reality.
By 2017, the conditions for the examination were more stringent, and many positions began to require party members, and graduate students and specific majors were qualified to apply for the examination. In contrast, my big computer major, which is an undergraduate, is particularly competitive. In April, I applied to the Harbin Statistical Investigation Bureau for the provincial examination, and took more than 20 examinations. In December, the national examination, the ranking is even lower.
During this period, I often heard parents mention the news that their children had been testing for many years and finally succeeded in landing on the shore. But for me, hope is getting slimmer.
Before I was actually admitted to the civil service, the false shell I found for myself was so fragile that it was broken with one blow.
When I was studying badminton in the gymnasium, there was a student who took a class with me, and he heard that I was working in the union and was still single, and said that he wanted to introduce me to someone. The woman is a clerk in the Archives Section of the Railway Bureau, with a college degree, a well-off family, and her relatives are the leaders of the Railway Bureau. At the dinner table, the girl said that she was also taking the civil service examination, and also signed up for a tutoring class, asking me what experience I had in the examination.
Outside of the words, I felt that she was not the kind of person who studied, nor did she really want to take the civil service examination, but just wanted to find a civil servant to marry, and felt that she matched her own conditions. But I'm not official.
When I got home after dinner, I told her that we were not a good fit, citing the fact that I was 8 years older than her. Unexpectedly, she not only did not give up, but launched a strong offensive against me. For several consecutive nights, she often volunteered to call me for a chat and say that age was not an issue and that if I didn't like her, she could chase me. I kept making excuses and never met her again.
Until one day, the girl suddenly sent a message to question me: "It turns out that you are not official, I let my sister check, there is no you person." My head was confused, and I couldn't suppress the anger in my heart: "I have said it is inappropriate, why do you have to ask the root of the matter and poke people's sore spots!" ”
In the end, we deleted our friends from each other and never contacted each other.
Before that, I made a request to the girl to help me keep this secret. If I hadn't said I was a civil servant, the coach wouldn't have been so serious about teaching me to play.
After failing many exams, I gradually became discouraged, and my revision lost the momentum of the past, and my energy was all spent on playing badminton. This racquet imported from Japan was bought on my dad's pay card. Relatives know that I have been taking the exam for many years, and I have been nibbling on the old, and I am worried: "I have also taken the exam, and I have all entered the fan." My cousin also came to give me advice: "No, learn to open an accounting firm with me." ”
My mother has been in the veterinary drug business in the county for ten years, and in July 2018, she saw that I was older, and that my work and objects were not settled, and she was fierce, and she cashed out the store and came back specifically to solve my problems.
She arranged a dozen blind dates for me, and when the other party heard that I was not formally organized, some did not even see each other, and some saw each other, and after meeting, they only asked how the conditions at home were. There was a girl of my age who had just been admitted to the county prison guard, and her eyes were a little squinty. After learning that I was not a formal establishment, but after taking the civil service examination, I said dismissively: "I want to find someone who is similar to me, and I can't wait for you." ”
Later, I still talked about a girlfriend. She was my high school classmate, and after many years of north drifting, she was admitted to Dalian Customs and was admitted to the deputy section level. The two of us were linked at a classmate's wedding, and in the few months when I was in a different place, I ran to Dalian to see her when I had time, and we discussed it well, and when I was admitted to the civil service in Dalian, I would consider getting married.
In order to harvest a marriage, I rekindled the hope of kaogong.
I regrouped and carefully reviewed it for three months. In December, I applied for the Bureau of Commerce of Jinzhou District, Dalian, and the number of applicants for the same position was more than 300, and I took the tenth place.
In the end, we didn't come together.
Seeing that my post in the union was about to end, the section chief came to persuade me, she said, don't look at me and my husband are both civil servants, the two of them add up to less than ten thousand wages, the same worry about the child's make-up course fees, a class is hundreds, this work in addition to stability, what is the meaning. I began to think about what the job of civil servant could bring to me, and whether it was really suitable for me. (Will it be a little late, how did you get to college with this brain)
In April 2019, I took another exam to the Harbin Bureau of Survey and Statistics, and still failed the list. Since then, I decided to give up the examination for the public examination, and in October, I left the trade union and went to Xiong'an and Qingdao to investigate what money-making projects there were.
One day in early 2020, I received a message on my mobile phone from a badminton cadet who had introduced me to the object, and he said, "You weren't official?" "It seems that the girl still didn't help me keep it a secret."
In the face of his doubts, there was no wave in my heart, at that time, our family had moved to Qingdao Jiaozhou. It was a decision I made after I went out on a study trip.
Having worked in Qingdao, I know that the climate here is better than in the northeast, and it is not so cold in winter, and you can go out without wearing a down jacket. On the other hand, Jiaozhou District is in the development stage, and there are many opportunities for doing business in the future. We bought a house and two garages here, ready to settle down for a long time.
After that, I applied for a financial job at a private hospital, thinking about getting a job first, and slowly seeing if there was a suitable business. I thought I had worked in the hospital finance department before, and I would definitely be able to do it, but I didn't expect that there was a problem just a week ago.
The leader asked me to do material warehousing and needed to summarize all the settled tickets. At the beginning of the hospital, the tickets were sent to me by others, and I didn't know that I had to call one by one to urge. Seeing that it was almost time, many people's tickets had not yet been delivered, and some people sent tickets that were not right, which made me anxious. In the end, I knew I couldn't keep up and quit my job.
I'm 35 years old, I don't have any length, and there's little way to go.
The civil service examination stipulates that the age of application must be over 18 years old, under 35 years old, and fresh masters and doctors can be relaxed to under 40 years old. Since you can't adapt to professional work, it is better to rush before the age, and finally try again, and also count it as an explanation for this thing that has been done for many years.
Shandong is the country's examination province, I know that I am not the opponent of Shandong candidates, the right to try my luck.
After the outbreak of the epidemic, a large number of enterprises closed down, layoffs, and the number of public examinations increased sharply. Qingdao Chengyang No. 8 Middle School, as soon as the admission time arrived, the candidates blocking the door rushed in, leaving a group of anxiously waiting parents, and the scene was like the college entrance examination. This time, I did not review it at all, and the question type in Shandong was different from that in Heilongjiang. The moment I get the exam paper, the fixed number has already appeared.
Walking out of the examination room, I felt an unprecedented ease, as if the burden on my body had been permanently unloaded. From then on, kaogong will no longer have me as a person.
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