May our outstretched hands be warmly clenched.
Direct sunlight is efficiently forced to become lower and lower by the rotation of rotation,
The hazy sunset that peddles the romance of youth slides away before six o'clock.
Workers who came home from work still wanted to pull a sorbet from 711 to cool down,
The mist from his mouth and the smoke from the side swirled together.
It is open in winter,
We are also increasingly eager for outstretched hands to be warmly clenched.
#我们为什么需要亲密关系 in the phone screen? #登上热搜榜,
The music in the headphones is a utopian fantasy of ticking melody wrapped in love,
"Maybe because people have countless winters in their lives, we want warmth."
The new season of "Daughters in Love" shows the multiple love concepts of multiple women.
Zhang Doudou, who is 20+ years old, hopes that "he is a person who can take me to progress together and take me to see the world together." It gives me an idea of what the world is like."
Jin Chen, who is 30+ years old, is looking forward to "meeting someone who can open myself up and make me feel safe." It feels like you can go with him for a long time, and then it's a very simple happiness. ”
30+ Jinsha said: "It allows me to understand what real feelings are, to try to master the ability to have happiness, to have the ability to open my heart." 」 ”
Xiao Yaxuan, who is 40+, is very firm: "Girls can decide the way of life by themselves, don't be afraid to seize the happiness of that moment." Don't care about other people's eyes, we know that it is good to be comfortable. Love can overcome everything because you truly believe in love. ”
I can screw the light bulb, I can lift the water 4 layers, I can roll up my sleeves to go to the toilet, but it's really hard to fall in love.
Is the intimacy that girls crave really hard?
Love under the "bondage" of parents
Women's difficulty in falling in love is often the proposition of "one result and multiple causes", and the reasons contained in it seem to be insoluble questions one by one: when they are old, they can no longer get married and cannot get married; their parents have to get married when they are old; a girl is drifting in a big city, and she has to find someone to live together 'Pinduoduo' more reliably...
The elderly Jinsha's father worries about his daughter's idealistic concept of love. In her father's eyes, Jinsha, who has a good appearance and a successful career, is still a flawed and incomplete "woman", and she lacks a little family happiness - her own small family and a big family with her parents. Out of the experience of the world and the concern for his daughter, the father believes that with the care and care of "him", Jinsha can make people feel at ease.
Her father's concern was a struggle for Kinsha's inner self-entanglement. "The impact is big and hard to accept. Did it go so badly? Let them worry and regret it. At this point, I have not particularly regretted it. But after hearing what my father said, I was a little sad and regretful. At the same time, I felt that I was powerless. ”
On the one hand, it is the adherence to the concept of self-love and the sense of responsibility for their future; on the other hand, the impact of the traditional family concept of parents and the sense of responsibility for parents... Jinsha longs to be healed and corrected in contradictions.
Who does not desire to be able to speak freely with those who have intimate relationships, and who does not desire to stitch the bridge between reality and desire with a "complete individual".
In the past, "arranged marriages" imprisoned women's free thinking, male outside, female inside, women are only need to maintain the family of this acre and three acres of land "appendages". As a relatively weak object under the gaze of power relations, marrying a chicken with a chicken, a husband as a wife, no need for love... It's all a normal thing in an old-school marriage.
Most people who grow up in such a family environment will be more eager for stable, warm love to pour into their marriages, but the expectations of their parents are also becoming a pressure on the journey of love - a kind of "should I be in love casually" pressure.
Modern women are in this wonderful transition period – on the one hand, the old ideas of our parents "educate" us to live a stable life; on the other hand, we are repeatedly tapped by the ideas of the new era. Afraid of being forced to fall in love by parents, if you fall in love, you will be forced to get married, and when you get married, you will be forced to have children, which has also become one of the contradictions of modern women's difficulty in love.
Intimacy is the "collision" of subjects
The love skills all over Douyin and the analysis of the predecessors in variety shows tell us that modern people's love is not so easy to come by. Intimate relationships are mixed with skill, often less courage and firmness. Under the "binding" of multiple social factors, can intimacy still be a clear and unprovoked love?
Intimacy is "preference".
In 2017, Lu Han, who was at the peak of his career, boldly announced his relationship with Guan Xiaotong, tore off the identity of "love beans cannot fall in love", and boldly and firmly gave his girlfriend an identity.
Both of them are low-key and attentive to this intimate relationship. Punctual wishes for birthdays every year, stealing couples' sweatshirts and shoes from different places, silently wearing the same watch... Preference can not be hidden, netizens can always search for the dog food of this intimate relationship from clues.
Du Haitao's preference for Shen Mengchen is also obvious to all.
In "Daughters in Love", after Haitao and Shen's father finished drinking, they cried and whispered to Shen Mengchen. I thought that Haitao had suffered some wrongs, but he said, "Obediently, my uncle and I both hope that you can live a little better... I hope everyone is a little nicer to you, I think you have suffered a lot..." Everyone cares about whether you fly high or not, and the people who love you care about whether you are tired or not.
At the New Year's Eve party in Hunan Tai, when the bell sounded at 12 o'clock, Haitao crossed the entire stage and ran to Mengchen. Because she just wants to be the first person to send her blessings in the new year.
He was willing to spend all his thoughts to understand her bit by bit, to understand her uneasiness. In the face of Haitao's preference, "obedient" can also understand. In "Heartbeat Signal", Mengchen bluntly said that Haitao is a man who will fall in love as long as they are together for a long time.
No wonder netizens have said: This pair is difficult to end without marriage.
The love of Zhang Ruoyun and Tang Yixin is also a preference for each other. From "Time Lover" to "Be Her Earth" to "I Love Her Like She Loves Me"... Even the couple's name is a unique preference - Tang Yixin's original name was Tang Ting.
Unreasonable preference is self-affirmation and mutual trust.
Intimacy is "looking in the mirror."
The love of Chen Xiaochun and Ying Cai'er is mutually changeable and tolerant. She understands the bohemian and fiery temper of "Brother Mountain Chicken", and he is well aware of the willfulness of the "Chaotian Pepper" family.
The two people are not without a run-in period and concessions. In "Diary of a New Student", Ying Cai'er was preparing to give birth to a second child, and said to Chen Xiaochun next to her: "This time it is powerful, and it will be filmed!" Chen Xiaochun, who was on the side, replied with some grievances: "I didn't shoot it last time, and I was scolded for seven years." Isn't the sweet and hilarious dialogue the process of mutual understanding between the two of them?
Relying on each other is also a sense of security in a relationship. Ying Cai'er on the operating table could not hide her nervousness, constantly frowning and her face was tense, while Chen Xiaochun had been holding his wife's hand while recording the whole process. When Hoho was born, the couple sang a happy birthday song, which was a warm and touching tacit understanding between husband and wife.
In "The Man Who Does Housework", the fairy love between Wu Zhongtian and Yang Zishan makes many people exclaim: "When will I meet my own Wu Zhongtian?" ”
Wu Zhongtian's favor for Yang Zishan is textbook-level:
Yang Zishan coddled Wu Zhongtian and did not want to wear new clothes because it was too hard. Listening to Yang Zishan's explanation of the reason, Li Shi and Wang Zulan could not accept it, but Wu Zhongtian could bear to coax him.
Yang Zishan said unhappily, "What do you know? Wu Zhongtian naturally continued: "I know I love you." ”
Wu Zhongtian, who was attentive and full of points, prepared a video gift for Yang Zishan, and was moved to cry by poking at the key points, and the guests outside the venue also said that this was an idol drama.
He can also understand Yang Zishan's deep cleanliness and willingly cooperate with her to create a "model house" for the home environment.
Chasing the variety show to the end, we will find that yang Zishan and Wu Zhongtian's sweet love is paid in both directions. The letters and things yang Zishan wrote to Wu Zhongtian before leaving the group were soaked with her meticulous love for Wu Zhongtian.
The video gift prepared by Wu Zhongtian also revealed Yang Zishan's selfless dedication and full consideration. When Wu Zhongtian broke her leg and could only sit in a wheelchair, she could push off all the scenes and push the wheelchair to accompany him to complete the "director's dream"; the delicacy of the heart also allowed the two to have an unforgettable but perfect wedding... The deep love of the two people for each other is the real love!
Intimacy is "you and I are equal".
The quarrel between Zhong Xiaoqin and Chen Yu in "Thirty Only" shows the imbalance of intimate relationships.
Chen Yu fully exerts his individual initiative outside the small family: active at work, and it is not too tiring to travel to remote areas for 2 months; the younger brother in the big family is ready to charge at any time for trouble... Only when facing a small family, he is a pool of stagnant water, and he regards Zhong Xiaoqin as the sustenance of all uneasy and negative emotions.
Modern women also face workplace pressures and support problems, "drifting ships are eager to go home and dock, but who can stop the warm harbor that is open 24 hours a day?" ”
Why do people need intimacy? Are two people working together to fight loneliness or are emotions used as a tool for the exchange of benefits?
0.5 + 0.5≥1, women are not in a passive position of compromise and adjustment, but the two sides actively understand each other, tolerate each other, and achieve each other. The essence of intimate relationship is actually the "collision" of two subjects - it does not require the perfection of the subject, but to make up for each other, recognize and accept each other, thus forming an emotional connection, which is the process in which both parties can experience love and be loved.
Love or not, first put yourself away
The most commonly heard requirement when in love is "door to door". In the context of door-to-door pairing, it means multiple conditions: similar age, comparable family background, value fit...
Known as the Queen, Xiao Yaxuan has never been fearless of traditional dogma. In the face of the entertainment news of 16 boyfriends in 17 years, Xiao Yaxuan responded in a flashy response in the "Spit Conference": "There is no shame in falling in love, what is there to be ashamed of dating?" People who are jealous of other people's love are more shameful. Someone asked me about love cheats? I am – gifted! ”
However, in the preconceived concept, although some people shout the banner of "want to be Xiao Yaxuan", on the other hand, they are still "lucky" who are pregnant with sister-brother love.
Love that is given a "failed" is never easy to fabricate. Xiao Yaxuan's 15-second late-night video dressed in a bathrobe and appearing in a plain face was quickly interpreted by netizens for the second time. Why did she speak vaguely and cry? Why should she buy late at night drunk and have depression relapse? Coupled with the fact that the boyfriend refused Xiao Yaxuan's kiss in the live broadcast, the ultimate direction of all speculation is the unreliability of the relationship between the two.
"Daughters in Love" seems to argue this point as well.
The boyfriend "accuses" Xiao Yaxuan of "motherly love" - cutting his hair, arranging his style, and managing his life. While Xiao Yaxuan denied that he was leading her boyfriend, she said angrily: "You don't let me cut your hair." Contradictory justifications are dismantling the "queen image", which strengthens the determination of both men and women to fully understand themselves and strengthen themselves.
Before loving or not loving, settle down with yourself. The first is to break down unrealistic illusions about "him."
In "Actors Please Take Place", the host Dapeng let Chen Youwei hug the female star, and the fans on the scene shouted not to do so, and Chen Youwei had to apologize to the actress. "Love beans can't fall in love", because idols are the transition zone between fans' imagination and reality, and the realistic emotional projection of fans' personal desires. While "wife powder" and "girlfriend powder" gradually interfere with celebrity activities, fans' personal values and aesthetics have also fallen into unrealistic imagination.
While calling on you not to kidnap Aidou, don't indulge yourself.
At the end of "Little Times Aoki Age 2.0", "Zhou Sogo" told the camera.
"You have to believe that there must be your lover in the world,
Whether you are surrounded by light at the moment and overwhelmed by applause,
Or you were walking alone down the cold streets
Wet by heavy rain,
Whether it's an early morning with a little snow,
Or the dusk that is baked by the heat,
He will surely cross the surging crowds of this world,
He walked past them one by one,
Coming to you............... He will definitely find you.
You have to wait. ”
Sweet Korean dramas, fantasistic Japanese dramas... Film and television works on the theme of love have influenced the mate selection standards of generations of girls. When the woman racked her brains to knock on the head of the object of the pleasure device to see if it was binding his stomach or his heart... Stop it! Let's first think about which "he" we need.
Is it Miss Qianjin, who is worth over 100 million yuan and does not love the white and beautiful skin, and the domineering president who spoils you alone? Is it a little milk dog that snorts and calls you "little sister" and lies in your arms? Or is it the handsome male god of the academy who brushes up and is engraved by the sun to be sharp and angular?
Various media are shaping the concept of mate selection of the majority of women, and the real "he" may be just the ordinary "he" in "Bride A Flower". There is no Shuangwen Shuang drama to be beautiful, no handsome face, and there is no encounter arranged by God.
Moreover, it is a correct perception of oneself.
Guo Qilin talked about the reason for being single in "Heartbeat Signal 3". People oscillate between loneliness and companionship, don't fall in love for the sake of appropriateness, for pleasure, for the sake of wind criticism. When you need to be lonely, be alone, and fall in love when you need to be accompanied.
A prerequisite for forming a stable emotional connection is to place one's soul well.
Can women shout about equality between men and women while sitting in a chair in a "weak position"? When asked "why does he like you", is there any confidence that a relationship will be affirmed? While assigning a value to "him", don't forget to focus on the multiple faces of "her".
In this way, we have the courage to "sit down" in the love gamble with the female individual as a chip, at this time do not forget to ask him, "Do you dare to 'shoot the case and bet'?" ”