01
How to describe middle-aged people?
Some people say: "Middle-aged people are like a person pulling a scooter, supporting parents, children, houses, jobs, socializing..."
In the days to come, how to survive the past, can not be left to it. Life is like a boat, and everyone has to take the helm by themselves.
There are two old sayings that go as well: "When a person reaches middle age, he has no one to rely on; the heart is not fierce, and he is unstable." ”
Instead of expecting others to do it, it is better to take the initiative, be a cruel person, and make others impressed.
02
Only by being fierce can we be unchecked and be ourselves back.
There is a story in the Zizhi Tongjian that during the Warring States period, the King of Wei was preparing to cede Nanyang City to the State of Qin, indicating that he had submitted to the State of Qin.
Minister Su Dai said: "Using the way of cutting up land to please the Qin state is undoubtedly 'holding the salary to fight the fire', the fire will not be extinguished until the firewood is burned out; if the land of the Wei state is not given to the Qin state, the matter will not end." ”
King Wei hesitated for a moment, then rejected Su Dai's suggestion.
There is a saying in the "Treatise on the Six Kingdoms": "Outside the Qin Conquest, the small one will gain the Yi, and the big one will get the city." ”
In contrast, the Qin state ceded the land through the other side to a hundred times more land than the land plundered by war. The monarchs of the six kingdoms always thought that by giving the land to the Qin state, they could sit back and relax, but in fact, they cut off their own future.
Taking history as a mirror, the king with a soft heart is ostensibly seeking perfection, but in fact, he has forced himself to a desperate situation step by step, making the people with fierce hearts more and more powerful.
When people reach middle age, they should find a way to survive from the experience of the ancients.
In society, it is impossible for a person not to deal with others, but you must insist on being yourself and have your own opinions, rather than using the way of wagging your tail and begging for mercy to please others.
For example, at a dinner table, if someone advises you to drink more, you can justifiably refuse, saying, "I'd rather hurt my feelings than hurt my body." People who are truly good to you don't need you to be "drunk"; only those who want to see your jokes want you to get drunk.
The "law of 150" tells us that the number of relatives and friends is too large, you can't manage it, you have to learn to choose, leave some "elite", you can.
The fundamental principle of dealing with people should be "plant a plane tree and attract a phoenix." Therefore, by fiercely rejecting those fox friends and severed relations with people from different paths, can we live ourselves and move in the established direction, while also guarding our own interests.
03
Only by being fierce can we seize the opportunity and go with the flow.
Zhou Libo once said: "The three laws of the workplace: either endure, or be fierce, or roll." ”
In the workplace, if you tolerate everywhere, on the surface it is generous, but in fact, you have lost the opportunity for promotion. As you get older, the competitive advantage will become weaker and weaker, and sometimes, if you miss an opportunity, it will be difficult to improve in the second half of your life.
If you go to a peer party, you will find that the same age, a different life. Some people are bosses, some people are subordinates, and some people are farming in their hometowns. In addition to capabilities, there are different platforms and different means of competition.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Zheng Guo's ministers were often harassed by their colleague Deng Xian, but whenever the children decided on something, Deng Yan had to say some words of opposition and tell some fallacies to the people of the world, resulting in great chaos in zheng guo. Zi Chan arrested Deng Yan and sentenced him to capital punishment, and the world was peaceful from then on.
There have been intrigues in the workplace since ancient times, so you should not refuse to join the job and be a person who sells his reputation.
Learn to be ruthless, you can have a place, from your peers, stand out. Perhaps, therefore, will make some people lose interests and opportunities, but you can not hesitate.
Similarly, when starting a business, you have to find a way to deal with your peers, and find each other's weaknesses, and use the way of leveraging strengths and avoiding weaknesses to achieve success.
In a place, there are so many business people that can be accommodated, and if you don't fight for it, you can only quit. You can't always be in a state of loss.
Of course, the means of competition are not vicious, but use ingenuity, to subdue people with virtue, and to win with wisdom.
04
Only by being fierce can we guard the true feelings and the happiness of the family.
In the world of middle-aged people, in addition to themselves, there are parents, children, lovers, etc.
How to run a family, the key is to control the feelings, grasp the scale and method of family interaction.
The Ming Dynasty writer Feng Menglong wrote about a man named Wu Gongye who joined the army in Henan Province. His lover is proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and he is also very beautiful.
For a while, Bu Feiyan walked close to his neighbor Zhao Xiang, and often hid in the attic to drink and chat.
One day, Wu Gongye originally went to the unit on duty, temporarily returned home because of an incident, met Zhao Xiang at home, and immediately became angry from the heart, and the marriage relationship ended here.
The ancients said: "It is difficult for me to meet in time, and emotions are not free." ”
Take care of the family, don't bring emotions, but talk calmly. No matter how difficult life is, you must go home with a pleasant face and communicate with your family. As long as the family is harmonious, you can rest assured to start a business, work, and feel that life has a backing.
Usually speaking, we must fiercely force our children to study, fiercely reject unnecessary love, do not do things that betray the family, and force ourselves to let go of our emotions.
There are troubles every day, but we must distinguish between the inside and the outside, and do not take home everything in society. Even if the husband and wife turn against each other, it is not all the fault of the other party, and if you think about your usual words and deeds, what is wrong.
Compare your heart to your heart, and then actively change yourself, and the family will definitely get better.
05
Of course, the heart is fierce, not the heart is fierce, but a kind of ability to turn things around, and it is a kind of wisdom to choose.
From the age of thirty to fifty, it is the most difficult time for middle-aged people, and if you are not cruel, you will be overwhelmed by the sea of people and crushed by the pressure on your body.
When people reach middle age, they must straighten their waists, be a good top pillar at home, be a good tide master outside, and be a good helmsman for themselves.
On the road of life, too many things, involuntarily, you are fierce, things will be smoother.
May you and I, abandon our troubles, and persist in facing the sun.
With a warm heart and a strong hand, hold up a blue sky.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.