The first thing to say is that marriage is not a necessity of life, nor is it the only criterion for happiness, and whether to enter or not to choose or not to choose is always decided according to the wishes, needs and ideas of the individual. At the same time, marriage is not suitable for everyone, if he just can't accept the way of married life, force him to walk in, pain himself does not say, but also hurt another person.
But the further you go, the more you will find that most of the people who walk in society are based on the family, which brings the greatest touch to men.
If in terms of needs, the woman needs the family, and the man is inseparable from the family, no matter what the content of the marriage is, there are many things that he must pass or use to achieve.
And those things can be said to be a man's tradition, or it can be said to be a man's instinct.
Nothing is unprovoked, and if marriage is because of need, then not necessarily because there is no need. Especially for men, the reason for not wanting to get married may be verbally not acknowledged.
If a man says he doesn't want to get married, there are three reasons for that!
1, it's just that he can't look at that woman.
People will have a complete sense of superiority according to their own certain superior conditions, without exception. So women should not feel that in the matter of marriage, men will not care about the conditions of women, on the contrary, men should be more realistic and will weigh the pros and cons.
Then for a man, if he feels that the woman is not worthy of himself, on the outside, the appearance is not good, the family is not good; on the inside, the conversation is not good, the virtuous is not enough.
At least for those men with good conditions, the standard for choosing a mate is always to have the same family conditions, even if they do not covet anything, but they do not want to be burdensome, and then they must have a posture that can be taken out, a posture that can support the portal, and finally require her to live with herself steadily.
After all, the old saying has always been that the poor do not choose a wife. Because he knew that his conditions were not good, he could not care about the choice.
In fact, everyone is like this, so looking at the conditions, it is a realistic side, but also a secular side, if there is really a woman who is perfectly superior to him in all aspects, it must be that he cannot refuse.
Because in that case, the woman will immediately become "beautiful", it just so happens that people are all animals that seek advantage and avoid harm, in the face of beauty, which man can refuse?
2, just he is evading responsibility and commitment.
Men's love words and commitments can be heard, but not taken exactly, because they are only based on the perception, atmosphere, situation, circumstances and needs of the time. When he cashed in afterwards, he found that it was necessary to pay a huge cost, or exceeded the cost he had previously estimated, then the initial intention changed.
As Mr. Qian Zhongshu wrote in "The Siege":
"Words are empty, people are alive, not people do what they say, but words change with people - sometimes a person does not want to lie, and after speaking, the environment changes, and he has to change his original intention." 」
So behind not wanting to get married, there is a reason is to avoid commitment, and gradually realize that marriage is not so simple, it is necessary to take responsibility, but also to avoid responsibility.
We all know that marriage itself means a heavy responsibility, and the trivialities of raising children, rice, oil and salt must always be borne by someone, as well as loyalty to marriage.
When he is not willing to take on these responsibilities, it feels like it will only be his own tiredness, then the real reason for not wanting to get married is there. In fact, he will also yearn for the beautiful part of his married life, but he is not willing to take on that heavy responsibility.
3, but he can't get out of the shadow of childhood.
This is when he was a child, he was stimulated by malignant, and before he had the ability to think independently and judge right and wrong, he saw the horrors of marriage, so that this shadow has since taken root in his heart and never lingered. Then marriage is the most terrible and terrifying thing in life for him.
Because as long as he mentions marriage, he can immediately think of the stimulation he received in childhood, have the physical instinctive resistance, and it is really difficult to force himself.
It may be that he has seen the quarrels of his relatives, but it is more likely that the influence of the original family, including the fight between his parents, indifference, hatred and resentment, all of which subtly affect him.
Prematurely experienced what should not have been experienced at that age, prematurely saw what should not have been seen at that age, if you can't get out, it is a nightmare for a lifetime.
So it's not that you don't want to get married, but you don't dare to get married, you are afraid of getting married, and in his opinion, getting married is to find someone who will only torture himself infinitely and drag down his life.
This is also the reason why it is said that parents love each other is the best education for children. Only when he grows up in a loving environment can he feel love, and then have love to love others, and the most important thing is that he believes in love, has seen the bad in this world, but still believes that there is a good side.
So behind men saying they don't want to get married, the above three points are often the real reasons.
If no one can reject the good, then his refusal is rejecting what he thinks is bad, or that is really beautiful, but for the time being he has not found the beauty in it.
In fact, marriage is not as bad as we think, of course, there is no absolute beauty, and because of this, we must correct our attitude.
There are parts that make you happy, and there are parts that make you sad. Of course, if you haven't thought about taking on that responsibility, or are not ready to take on that responsibility, it's best not to get married first, because marriage is not something that a person can do well.
In addition, marriage itself is no problem, many times, it is the problem of two people, and then unwilling to admit their own problems, only to let the marriage to carry the pot, live well or badly, is the result of the business, but also the result of the choice of people.
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