Text/Maternal and Infant Journals
Can you understand a child who "ran away" for more than 12 years because he didn't like his parents? Among them, there are more than 6 years of blocking parents! This kind of thing happens in our culture, which is very important to inheritance, and many parents express that it is incredible and difficult to accept, even angry!
But there are two sides to everything, and there is a cause and effect, and since there is this effect, there must be a cause, and many times the surface we tend to see is not real. So what happened to this kid that caused him to do it, and the reason behind it really scared us!
So when you encounter a problem, don't think about escaping, don't delay things because of your own emotions or ideas, or don't end it, because avoidance will only make the problem bigger, even if it seems to be solved for a while, but over time it will be more difficult to appear in front of you, just like this child, and even more serious.
It is difficult for sad parents whose children are outside to understand
Sometimes the school is not safer than the society, the children may be excluded by the surrounding classmates outside, and even by the personal attacks of the surrounding classmates, at this time the classmates may also "team crime" to blame the injured children, the teacher will also follow the blame, this time the child's small heart will be how much damage.
However, when returning home, when telling these things to parents, parents will sometimes think in turn whether the child is making trouble at school again, and also begin to blame the child, at this time the child's inner hurt and blow will be deeply buried in the heart, and when it finally breaks out, this heart that is not understood, it is difficult for parents to understand.
Parental neglect is the greatest harm to the child, because the parent's incomprehension and then do not think and finally even ignore, so that the child's heart will gradually "blacken".
Just like the situation mentioned above, children who have been "running away from home" for more than ten years are often attacked by their classmates at school and their parents do not understand, so they no longer cry alone, and decide to go to a university far away from home to get rid of their parents.
If the purpose of education is to control children, then my parents are really outstanding models.
From this sentence, we can feel a deep helplessness, the parents' universal "excuse", I am all for your own good, but also let many children helpless. This is also one of the cases of bad families: too much control over the children!
And when some of the parents will also start to educate their children, it sounds good that parents discipline their children, but if they are serious, it is a manifestation of domestic violence, and the teaching method of corporal punishment has long been no longer advocated, let alone the behavior of domestic violence, if the child is reported to the police at this time, the parents will even be punished by law.
But this situation is repeated in various families, and there is also tension between parents.
Some parents do not get along well with each other, quarreling every day, and some will even behave as "competing to recruit relatives", often fighting to each other, as an adult, these things will be engraved in the heart and will not forget, not to mention that when the child is young, he will see his parents' every move in his eyes and learn in his heart.
Psychologist Yang Zi said: "The family is the cell of society, and it is also the core environment for everyone's growth." Teaching by example is more important than words."
Therefore, parental fights are "better" for children than hard work in educating many tongues, which will make children remember deeply. This is also the second case of bad families: violence hurts children!
Of course, there is also a situation that seems to be calm on the surface, and even many other children will envy, but for children it is only lonely. That is, parents are out of the house for many years or are bent on making money and ignoring their feelings for their children.
Perennial money outside, and responsible for the child and single-mindedly earn money is two situations, only know how to earn money but do not know how to educate and accompany the child, the result is that the hard-earned money children will only feel indifferent, feel that the parents do not want themselves at all, this time if the child often sees other classmates playing with their parents and parents, want parents to accompany and parents ignore, the child's heart will become very lonely.
However, some parents are different, even if they are busy making money, they will still care about their children, often communicate or interact with their children, so that even if they cannot accompany their children many times, children can feel that their parents are loving themselves, and they will not become lonely. This is also the third case of bad families: ignore the child and make the child feel lonely!
Finally, I don't know how to respect my children
There is a kind of parent, they know how to communicate with their children, they understand that children also need privacy and self-esteem, so they will listen to some of their children's opinions and opinions instead of blindly asking their children to listen to their own words.
And will also respect the child, even if you know that some things are wrong, but the child very much wants to do it, the parents will protect the child over and over again will guide the child, and finally wait until the child himself realizes the difficulties in it, use the facts to educate the child, if the parents do this, is the child still unwilling to listen to the parents?
Therefore, many times children are not disobedient, but their parents do not recognize themselves, they have to prove to their parents, even if they are wrong, they will do it.
There will always be a point that parents ignore, or many places where parents know that they will ignore it or hold such an attitude to their children, but they do not know that this has left an indelible scar in the child's heart.
Finally, I will use some survey data to let everyone have a clearer experience:
Professor Wang Limin of Health Education of Harbin Medical University and his team found through a 20-year survey that 10% of people have interpersonal communication problems, and even many will affect their lives to the point where they need to find a doctor. And more than 30 percent of people suffer from mild social sensitivity.
This is still a very early data, if you change these data to the current tense living environment, this probability may be much higher.
Another survey then concluded that children with mildly sensitive communication whose parents often quarreled were 20 percent more likely, that 18 percent of families with discord were higher than those in harmonious families, and that children with some interpersonal problems were three times faster than normal families, and even divorced by more than 2 points.
Therefore, parents must not ignore family problems in the future!
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